Mama Drama

[walexis25]

So, my SO lives in brazil and I really want to go next year for the world cup and to see him. I wanted to go to brazil this year but my
mom refused to let me go. I turned 18 in January and I was reluctant to pull the "I'm 18 and I will do what I want blah blah...".
I understand that she is worried about me going to another country with a boy shes never met and she thinks its dangerous but ive know him
for a year now, I am an adult now, I have always wanted to go to brazil when I am YOUNG and can enjoy things, and i know for sure that he
will keep me safe. He still lives with his mom and has offered to have my mom meet his mom and everything but my mom is stubborn.
How do i convince her to give me her blessing to go. Since i will be 19 next yr, i am considering just to go no matter what she says to prove
that i will be fine but i wont be comfortable without her consent. What should i do? What have you guys done?
Thanks

[snow_girl]

You will still be young for a few more years.

[committed]

Do you live under your mother's roof still? If you do but you really want to make your own choices, move out. Then you truly are on your own and responsible for the choices you make.

[walexis25]

I will be going out of state for college if that counts

[Moon]

I will be going out of state for college if that counts

No, it kinda doesn't, sorry. To be honest, I wouldn't let you go either, as long as I was supporting you. Have you ever traveled anywhere by yourself? Before you go to another country, especially if you don't speak the language, you need to get some experience first and show you know what you're doing.

[Black_Halloween]

Have you offered to bring her with you so she can meet his family as well? What about skype dates? Who will be paying for the flights?

[walexis25]

No, it kinda doesn't, sorry. To be honest, I wouldn't let you go either, as long as I was supporting you. Have you ever traveled anywhere by yourself? Before you go to another country, especially if you don't speak the language, you need to get some experience first and show you know what you're doing.

Ah yes, I've traveled by myself. I just recently came back from a trip by myself to Missouri. I am very independent. I was kind of forced to learn to do everything on
my own. I am also close to being fluent in Portuguese. Hopefully in another month and a half I will have the language down. Thanks for the input

[walexis25]

Have you offered to bring her with you so she can meet his family as well? What about skype dates? Who will be paying for the flights?

I have offered but to be honest I don't want her to come along. I Skype all the time with and the time I have tried to get her to talk to him she has an excuse. And that is another thing, everything will be paid for by me and my SO. She will not need to fund anything.

[LadyDaemon]

Ah yes, I've traveled by myself. I just recently came back from a trip by myself to Missouri. I am very independent. I was kind of forced to learn to do everything on
my own. I am also close to being fluent in Portuguese. Hopefully in another month and a half I will have the language down. Thanks for the input

Yeah,but you have to remember something,there's a difference in traveling a few states away and traveling across a ocean to a whole different continent. There's also border patrol,passport and other various things you're going to have to deal with. Personally,I agree with Moon. If you were my kid you might be able to go,but you wouldn't be going without me. I would really consider trying to get her to go with you to meet him. How old is he?

[chizatlauren]

You have to understand where your mother is coming from. She just cares about you and is worried that something bad might happen to you. Did you consider having your SO come to the US first before you go to his country? Just as an example, my mother doesn't allow me to go anywhere to see my SO without him coming here first so they'll know who he is and what he does. It's for your own safety dear. If your SO doesn't have the money, maybe you can pay for his trip?

[Malaga]

Firstly, you need to qualify for a visa to enter Brazil. Not sure about the specifics in this case, but usually you need to provide the proof of having enough money to support yourself while you're visiting. I see in your other thread you said you had a hard time saving up enough money for the trip, so you should be realistic about this. There is also the cost of issuing a visa that you have to account for.

Also, keep in mind it's the totally different culture you'd be going to, and a country with a different legal system. I was due to go to Brazil for business a few years ago but it fell through as there was some intense rioting going on and the Brazilian police themselves went on to say they couldn't guarantee safety to travellers. I was still willing to go but the organisers scraped the event. Granted that was some years ago, but Brazil is often on the list of countries other countries issue official warnings about, and your mother is right to be worried.

Especially if you plan to go during the World Cup. I travelled to the Euro Cup in Portugal in 2004 with a group of friends. Overall the experience was great, but you have to understand there is much more riffraff preying on travellers during events like these. We had a few narrow escapes. You'd be an 18 year old girl travelling alone for the most part with your only experience of solo travel being within your own country. That makes you an easy prey.

I'm not saying you shouldn't travel alone to Brazil ever, but that there are many reasons why timing might be off and you'd be wise to listen to your mother about this.

[walexis25]

Yeah,but you have to remember something,there's a difference in traveling a few states away and traveling across a ocean to a whole different continent. There's also border patrol,passport and other various things you're going to have to deal with. Personally,I agree with Moon. If you were my kid you might be able to go,but you wouldn't be going without me. I would really consider trying to get her to go with you to meet him. How old is he?

I know what you mean and I understand. I just would find it difficult to take her and if she went, my step dad would go to.
And she is not the travel type. She has certain places she wants to go, while me on the other hand would travel the whole world if
I could. I have thought about all those things, border control, passport(which I already have), and a Brazilian visa, etc. I do my research
and he is 21.

[PrincessJOE]

You have to understand where your mother is coming from. She just cares about you and is worried that something bad might happen to you. Did you consider having your SO come to the US first before you go to his country? Just as an example, my mother doesn't allow me to go anywhere to see my SO without him coming here first so they'll know who he is and what he does. It's for your own safety dear. If your SO doesn't have the money, maybe you can pay for his trip?

I agree with chizatlauren about everything Maybe you could spend the money you and him would put in your travel to Brasil in a the other way round and pay him a trip to visit you: like this your mum could meet him and get to know (and trust) him, maybe next time it'll be easier to let you go

I think most of the times when two people meet online, it's the boy visiting the girl first: it's not just chivalry, we all know (unluckily) that its easier for a woman than a man to get in troubles when she's on her own :/

Good luck!

[ThePiedPiper]

Especially if you plan to go during the World Cup. I travelled to the Euro Cup in Portugal in 2004 with a group of friends. Overall the experience was great, but you have to understand there is much more riffraff preying on travellers during events like these. We had a few narrow escapes. You'd be an 18 year old girl travelling alone for the most part with your only experience of solo travel being within your own country. That makes you an easy prey.

To Missouri no less.

Okay, okay, midwest jokes aside, I think that everyone here has a point. Is there a reason he can't come visit you first?

[Black_Halloween]

The fact that you don't want her to go screams immaturity and nativity to me. Yes, you're a legal adult but you still live under -her- roof and you have to abide by -her- rules. You're not an official "adult" until you can live on your own and provide for yourself, but that's just my opinion. Why can't he come to you, by the way? It might make your parents more at ease. My SO came here first. It made my parents happy and I got to see him. Now, they L.O.V.E him and agreed to let him move in with us even after one visit so he can go to school here.

I also agree with what Malaga said, Brazil can be really dangerous and even more so for an 18 year old whose traveling alone for the first time. I get it, you want to be independent but you also have to be SMART about things and also understand where your mom is coming from. She -loves- you and only wants you to be safe.