HI I'm a newbie here i just want to ask some advice on how to avoid arguments or fights on LDR.. We've been together for 1yr & 6mos.. we got engaged last July 2011. My problem is, nowadays, we cannot surpass a week without a fight and it's upsetting... I know we both love each other but when a small thing came up... The argument started. It's either I take it negatively or (accdg to him) he just speak what's on his mind...
Sometimes, he presume that I'm busy, but on my end..I'm not..
He presume that I'm ignoring him just because im not at focus, not answering his statement.. Whenever i asked him to repeat what he said he will end up saying " do u understand what's coming from my mouth"?
If my question became repetitive, he will get easily irritated..
Whenever I justify or defend myself that his presumption is wrong, most of the time my fiance is telling me that i take things out of proportion, ranting and i am so defensive (doesn't want to listen). Can't help but to get mad when he is telling me that..I end up ranting.. and sometimes, i posted on facebook which he doesnt like of course (he felt im attacking him & did not care what he will feel)
And I don't understand, sometimes the situation is flipping. I am mad at first but when he replied it's the other way around... Ending, im always the bad guy
One time (early morning my time), When were on skype and he saw my eyes keeps moving around (accdg. to him) he will immediately presume that I'm busy and will bring it up to me and will sounded like he wants to end our conversation for me to continue what "i am doing", when in fact im just looking at myself on lower right of skype and go back to the screen..
there are times when we had heated argument and he cannot do anything to stop me from talking he throwed his mobile in front of me (skype) and uses some harsh word like (b*tch ; WTF). Or just close the laptop... He reminded me that he got it from me because i hang up on him..I did not hang up on him...Instead of saying harsh words, i will tell "i cannot talk right now" then end the call...
I don't know what to do anymore I don't want us to have a fight but it keeps getting worst..
Sometimes, he presume that I'm busy, but on my end..I'm not..
He presume that I'm ignoring him just because im not at focus, not answering his statement.. Whenever i asked him to repeat what he said he will end up saying " do u understand what's coming from my mouth"?
If my question became repetitive, he will get easily irritated..
Whenever I justify or defend myself that his presumption is wrong, most of the time my fiance is telling me that i take things out of proportion, ranting and i am so defensive (doesn't want to listen). Can't help but to get mad when he is telling me that..I end up ranting.. and sometimes, i posted on facebook which he doesnt like of course (he felt im attacking him & did not care what he will feel)
And I don't understand, sometimes the situation is flipping. I am mad at first but when he replied it's the other way around... Ending, im always the bad guy
One time (early morning my time), When were on skype and he saw my eyes keeps moving around (accdg. to him) he will immediately presume that I'm busy and will bring it up to me and will sounded like he wants to end our conversation for me to continue what "i am doing", when in fact im just looking at myself on lower right of skype and go back to the screen..
there are times when we had heated argument and he cannot do anything to stop me from talking he throwed his mobile in front of me (skype) and uses some harsh word like (b*tch ; WTF). Or just close the laptop... He reminded me that he got it from me because i hang up on him..I did not hang up on him...Instead of saying harsh words, i will tell "i cannot talk right now" then end the call...
I don't know what to do anymore I don't want us to have a fight but it keeps getting worst..
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