Age difference - advantage or disadvantage?

[rufuz]

The age difference between me and my SO isn't really big... it's just 2 and a half years... But what may be strange about it is that he is younger than me.
I know a lot of girls would never ever want to have a younger boyfriend but to me this doesn't matter. It just depends on how you feel with a person and how he/she acts. My SO treated me soooooo much better than every other guy I was dating before and this is what matters.

Also my mother is 7 years older than her partner and you don't even realize that if you didn't know it before. As long as one isn't 15 and the other one 50 everything is fine in my opinion Doesn't matter if the boy or the girl is older.

[Mims27]

My SO is 8 years younger than I am. I'm 30 and she's 22 (23 in Dec.). I don't notice or care about the difference anymore. We do joke about it sometimes but that's all. When we first started "dating", I was a bit weirded out about it especially when we talk about stuff like, "oh I was 16 when this happened" and then I go like "damn, you were 8 when I was 16". haha Doesn't bother me anymore. The only "disadvantage" I can think of, is that we are kind of at different stages in our lives. She's still in school, living at home and I've done all that and pretty much ready to settle down and build a life with her. But that's part of our relationship and we both understand where the other person is coming from.

[BabyGund]

We're 16 years apart...the only time he complains as that he wished I was of age 30 years ago and he would have married me instead.

But we're thankful to find each other now.

[milaya]

I'm 10 years younger than my SO.
I never imagined that I would date a guy, nevertheless marry, so much older than me, but he was the one I fell in love with, so it ended up not mattering at all.
To be honest, I've always been interested in guys older than me (4-7 years), I just didn't like the idea of 10 years older than myself in the beginning. Which is why, when I met my SO (we met offline) I never even considered there to be any chances of us having a romance.
Now we don't really think about the age difference, except when I tease him about being old. Our generations are a bit similar anyway, so we have most of the same childhood memories (mostly concerning technology)

Is out power balance equal...?
To be honest, I don't think it is.
I think 70% of the power in the relationship falls on my court. XD I think it's mostly because my SO doesn't have many strong opinions, he's patient and he does what's he's told. XD

[snow]

It's hard to say if there's advantages to being with someone older/being the younger one in the relationship.
My man sometimes brags about me being younger than him, but it's really nothing we notice.

A good friend of mine is currently pursuing a girl that is 16 years younger than him and she said "after 21 age is just a number", to me being with someone 16 years older than me would not work, but that's for everyone to decide.

[Fretboard_Magic]

I, personally, have no problem with age difference. I think it is up to each individual what their personal age range should be with their SO. As long as the couple is comfortable with it, then everyone else should just try to be as supportive as possible. Sometimes it can be difficult, especially if the age difference is significantly large, but as long as the couple is happy then who cares what their age is.

My thought exactly. One of the challenges that intergenerational couples may face is that society often disapproves of inter-generational relationships, and thus they ALWAYS view the older party as the "manipulator". But really, NOT all of such relationships are like that. I for one believe strongly that society should just butt out of the lives of individuals. But then that's coming from a somewhat anti-society me, so I'm aware there are many who oppose my stance on this issue.

The thing about the whole "balance of power" thing in the case of my girlfriend and myself, I'd say it's about equal because we simply don't operate based on who's more experienced or who's more superior. We're just two people in a happy relationship, and that's all we need to focus on pretty much.

[Kristin91]

In my opinion small differences in age (like a few years) doesn't make a difference, but when you're talking large age gaps (5-10+) years I think a lot of couples deal with the difficulty of being at different stages in their life (for example, the younger one might still be in college and the older one might be seriously thinking about settling down). However, I don't think age is the single deciding factor to determine if a relationship will last or not.

[Lucky]

I often call myself a late bloomer when it comes to dating, but truth is, I wasn't. I just never could find a guy I liked to look my way without my age making them uncomfortable as I was attracted to older men. Every time a guy close to my age asked my out the reply was "I am sorry you are too young"... this would leave them shocked since sometimes they were a year or two older than myself... it does make a huge difference when you are a teenager.

So finally I was 25 and found myself a boyfriend because age no longer made them uncomfortable. He was 11 years older, after him I dated someone 16 years older, after than someone 8 years older (worst relationship in my life, I thought it was because he might have been too young for me) and my last relationship before meeting my husband was with someone 15 years older.

My father is 13 years older than my mother and their marriage is awesome.

My husband is a year younger than me!!! who would have thought? he is as mature and in some cases more than some of my ex's. So now I think it's more of a compatibility with the individual, either side has their advantages and disadvantages.

[MadMolly]

I find there to often be an imbalance of "power" in relationships with a significant age difference (mostly if the younger person is under 25 and the older one 35-40+. When I was younger I was involved with a man 15 years my senior. At the time I was very much "age is just a number", thought I was TOTALLY mature etc etc. Now I'm a bit older I've realised how creepy it was - he was totally experienced and knew how life and people worked and I was completely naiive to why it was a problem (even though I was relatively mature for my age). He was very much the more 'powerful' one; I deferred to him because he was the older one with all the experience, and I was the "child" one of the relationship. It didn't last very long at all because I clicked to how creepy it was and realised that half of the reason he was with me was because my innocence was some weird turn-on for him.

The way I think of it now... if a 40~ year old is hanging out with teenagers or people in their early 20s instead of with people their own age, do they have some peter pan complex? Will they ever mature themselves? Are they going to pressure/manipulate their younger partner to settle down earlier than they are actually ready to? Major red flags for me.

[Dezface]

I'm not a big fan of the generational gaps either. I see how they could work in some instances but most just seem doomed for failure to me. I too wonder what's going on inside someone that they need to have a partner young enough to be their child.

To each their own, as always, but it wouldn't work for me and it just really makes me wonder.

[jana89]

My boyfriend is 16 years older than me. For me it has never been an issue and he says it also keeps him young The only who really seem to have problem with our age difference are people around

[miss_jaclynrae]

Here I thought our 10 year age difference was a big gap! Haha


More important than age is life stage. I think it is very important to be on the same page and in similar points in life. Age isn't much if both people are on the same level experience wise.

[Yaaamiii]

A good friend of mine is currently pursuing a girl that is 16 years younger than him and she said "after 21 age is just a number", to me being with someone 16 years older than me would not work, but that's for everyone to decide.

Oh man. That's weird though cuz 21 is a number itself...and by saying that she's somewhat acknowledging that there is some sort of maturity difference. Would she say the same thing if the person was 60?

Sorry not trying to sound condescending, I'm actually just very curious xD.

I agree with what lucybelle said. I think it has to do with life stages and maturity.

[Phantomrose]

My SO is six years older than me. Honestly, I have never gave the age difference between us much thought. I don't consider it a huge difference, and most of the time, it doesn't feel like there is much difference anyway.

[jana89]

[QUOTE=miss_jaclynrae;324364]...

More important than age is life stage. ...QUOTE]

I could not agree more Me and my SO went through a lot of similar stuff in past, share same opinions and hobbies .... So what does it matter that when I was born, he was starting sex life Well, said like this it might sound bit creepy, but who cares