So he broke up with me... </3

[Deleted]

I'm sorry you had to go through this. You're strong: I have faith that you can get through! Chin up, find a reason to smile each day, give yourself plenty of time. Spend time with other people. It takes time, but you can do it.

[innocentbutterfly]

I understand exactly what you're going through. I've felt...like that ever since my ex and I ended things. Given, I ended them because he lied to me, and then he got pissed because I dated someone-AFTER HE TOLD ME TO MOVE ON-just to see if I'd be okay if we ended things like...forever. Which, was completely unfair to me, but he got mad because he didn't want anyone else to have me that way he had...And that one little thing I made the mistake of doing he holds over me like its the end of the world, when I've forgiven him for so many things he's done to me. Now I'm...upset all the time, feel like I can't be with anyone else...it's horrible, even more so because it's been months for me. Close to a year actually.

This. Its just too selfish. I have kicked many of my principles for him and he found that one virtual thing and compared me to his cheating ex when its nothing like it. I hope we both get better with time, its just too hard for me and its not even a week yet, i cant imagine u going through it for weeks. =/

everyone else thank you for your supporting words, i just hope this passes fast. I am talking to friends online, spending time on watching movies, tv shows..but still have to fix my sleep times

[TwoThree]

Unfortunately it's very much possible because he only sees women, including you, as currency, they don't matter to him as people, only as a way to be 'better' than other guys. To guys like these virginity only means nobody else 'had' before what he 'has' and trust me, they don't mean it in a romantic/sacred way like you do. To them it just means getting one up on other guys. When you allowed another guy to see you naked you diminished your currency in his eyes, he felt it as if you denied his god-given right to own something nobody else owned before and be smug about it, and so you're no good to him anymore.

Now, the fact you lost your virginity to the wrong guy certainly doesn't make you damaged goods, you're no less special than any other girl out there, it won't make your next relationship any less special and the man who likes you for you won't even care about it.

I'm sorry you're hurting... but there is nothing to regret about this relationship at all. Tap into your inner strength and bounce back. Soon you'll be jumping from joy to be rid of such a horrible pest.

Good luck xx

Very nicely put. I wanted to rep the post but I can't for now.

[innocentbutterfly]

well guys i discovered chocolate is a pretty good aspirin.im not overdoing it, but i found that it helps me forget for a bit. And today in the morning i had a moment of weakness again, i thought of sending him flowers on his birthday in two weeks, to just say i hope hes happy and that no matter what he will stay in my heart and memory in a way. But then i thought its a bad idea, right? As much as i wish it would at least end on good terms, him blocking me, rejecting my calls, texts...suggest that he doesnt want a part of me in his life even if he said when we were together when we met that we could be friends, but that was before i told him all the bad stuff, before he blocked me. So he probably hates my guts and always will, right? I dont even expect he will ever unblock me. Oh well im overthinking, going to read a book.

[Yaaamiii]

Sorry I'm late, but I hope you've been doing a little better as the days go by. And if you haven't yet, you will! Don't send him flowers, though I totally understand wanting to. Just put your focus on other things, hard as it may be.

[Lucky]

Keep watching movies and staying distracted, post or blog if it makes you feel better to write about it and please, ask your brother to delete him from his friends list so you are not tempted to take a peek.

Do not contact him!! he is loving the attention, for all you know when you stop trying so hard to get back to him he will get back to you... though I don't think it would be a good idea to get back with him sweetie, like others said, you dodged a bullet.

This reminds me of my first, we had sex and I didn't bleed... seriously? you would throw out the window a relationship and call someone a liar because things didn't turned out to be exactly how you pictured them? I am glad it happened because that showed his true colors, not long after that he became verbally abusive and I discovered he had hit an ex-girlfriend, scary stuff! So I realized my mistake and that he is all he will ever be to me... I dumped him fast and I still think it took me too long, he was not worth my time.

I am now married to a wonderful man who knows everything about me and loves me for who I am. You will find someone like that someday I am sure, try to look at the positive, the first time is uncomfortable and painful so you don't really get to enjoy it, when you find the right guy it will be wonderful from the start *hugs*

[innocentbutterfly]

thank you guys. I am better, but my sleeping pattern turned to nightmare. I slept most of days, but its good, it helped me forget a bit and my dreams started changing, no much nightmares of him anymore. Thank god. Yes my brother doesnt even talk to him anymore, i admit tho that i did ask him a few times to peek and it irks me to see he still got all the comments and wall posts of me, i mean why, if he blocked me. Its getting easier, but i cant get over the part that with that block he just slammed the door in my face, made all worth nothing. I would deserve an explanation or some reply after countless smses, its just a very bad way to shut someone out, i cant do that to people that i got history with, so theres many why's and what if's left, but they'll go away eventually i hope.

[innocentbutterfly]

Lucy, the worst part here is that it wasnt even virginity to blame. He got my all. He threw in my face some xx photos i exchanged with my ldr ex years ago saying he couldnt bear somebody saw my body before him, virtual or real that its same to me. But its not to me. Plus added fact that he doubted parents would 'approve',saying he got bored, i think it was more behind that breakup. He even went so far and said if i dont accept the breakup that he will cheat on me, even when he doesnt have it in his nature, and that then eventually it will finish...a total nightmare

[innocentbutterfly]

so guys an update to this. I sent him a birthday gift anyway because i dont want to be a hater and i cant hate on anyone. It was a nice vase with red roses and teddy bear. Just to kind of say happy birthday and maybe he forgot me but i didnt. He received it about 4 hours ago, hes at work. But no unblock anywhere or even a thank you sms from him. I wasnt expecting it anyway and im much better, but it kind of still hurt and im disappointed. I just wanted to be nice. It seems he really hates me so much now? Though i dont know why. Its true i called about 20times and wrote about same amount of quite harsh messages(because i was hurt and angry obviously) but how could he just forget all the good memories too? Its 3weeks and i still remember them and forgetting the bad ones, so for that he could be a bit less selfish and egoistic and write me at least a thank you, no? Its just all so weird. If i got a gift from my ex i would at least say thanks, even if we wouldnt part in a good way. Its manners or so i think

[Deleted]

OP, I'm not sure that sending him a gift was a good idea. That would give him the message that you still want to continue the relationship (especially considering the affectionate nature). I think he made it clear that he doesn't want to keep in contact, so if that it what he wants, I think it would be best for you to respect it.

[milaya]

I also think the gift was a bad idea. I don't think it'll bring any good memories back, it will just make you seem clingy to be honest. Like you can't let go. You don't want him to remember you as the psycho girlfriend, who kept contacting him. Especially considering that you didn't end this relationship on good terms. And even more because he's... to be brutally honest, a jerk.
He doesn't deserve your gifts or your phone calls. It's best just to move on. You might have many good memories from your time together, but I think there's a bigger chance of turning those sour if you keep on trying to contact him. Nothing good will come from it. Not from this type of guy. Him blocking you and ignoring you is a obvious sign.

If you want to keep your good memories - please move on. You might need a lot of time to mourn, but you will be able to move on in the future. Don't keep yourself attached to him more than necessary (the necessary here is of course, him now being a part of your past).
I still hope you will find a new (and healthy) love in the future.

[innocentbutterfly]

guys thank you. Though i noticed its weird, he accepted the gift when it was delivered, though he could reject. And now i saw he unblocked me on facebook. Not on whatsapp, but there he did and still having all my posts. What does it even mean? I mean i sure wont contact him if thats what he expects. At last he should be contacting me by thanking for the gift. Why would he do that?

[ethelynn]

Honestly, that many calls, gifts and even checking up on his facebook/whatsapp isn't healthy. If he thought you were too much before, this certainly won't make his opinion any better. He ended things the way he did and all the hard times before that, do you really want to be like that for years to come? I doubt it, you certainly deserve more. Everyone deserves someone who loves them for who they are and will be there.

You should be the one blocking and deleting him from everywhere and try your best to stop obsessing over him. I know it's easy to say, but it's for your own good! He definitely isn't worth making yourself more pain and negative thoughts about him. Blocking him will give you the way out and open a new chapter in your life that is free of this kind of negativity!

[differentcountries]

I hope that was the last gift you got him. Remember, if the two of you were to consider being friends after a bad break-up, it is:
1) too soon
2) it would mean he would actually have to be nice to you
Don't ponder around to find out what it all means. Maybe he is a jerk. Maybe he is just insecure and has his ex haunting him. It does not matter at all. The point is that he is unable to give you what you need. In fact, at times you seem unable, too.

I will give you a task. It will probably be very difficult, but could also be very rewarding. The task is this: do not contact him, or try to find out anything about him at all (google, wasapp, facebook etc.) in 2 months. Deal in it any way you like: write diary entries all about him, talk to your friends all about him, post here every day etc. but do not actually do anything. I was OBSESSED with my ex after our break-up, possably with a similar mix of love, hurt, anger and confusion as you feel. But this really cured me (though I was hurt for at least a year after I was less obsessed). It had been a habit to be in contact and be informed, then it became a habit not to. I dear you to try it.

[innocentbutterfly]

guys, but its not like I can't stay away from contacting him. I don't even have an urge to contact him. My friends helped me a lot to get through this, I stopped a week after we broke up and now it's been 3 weeks since breakup when I sent him gift for birthday today. I Really dont understand what's going on tho, in his head I mean. He didnt write to thank me if this gift actually made him re-think or whatever. So why unblock me and only on one site and why today. It's all so weird like he expects me to make contact or something, which obviously I wont. I'm over obsessing over him, I'm done with that stage. It just bugs me to not understand what is actually going on inside his head. Since he didn't make effort to reach out after gift I think his ego is still so high that he actually believes that unblocking me will make me contact him? (which after how he began taking me for granted wouldn0t surprise me) it's ridiculous.