Is this the end of my LDR? Please anyone..help..

[Hollandia]

I am just gong to say this one more time, because I doubt anything any of what I say to you will be really heard.

You are making excuse after excuse after excuse to make it okay for her to ignore you and treat you this way. If she loves you and wants to be with you then she she be in contact with you. You do not treat people you truly love like this. If I was upset with my SO about something, I would be talking to him about it. I would not be ignoring him. I have never changed my status on FB from back when I was married either. I did not do it, because I think it is nobody's business and I did want to hear about it on FB from all my friends and family so don't read so much into that.

I am not going to say you sound delusional because I think you know this is wrong but you simply don't want it to be true. If she wants a relationship with you then she will make contact if not then move on and try to stop obsessing over her. It is unhealthy.

[seras]

She REPLIED OMG she Replied. She thought I was letting go and she replied!

14 days after the last reply she replied this "You're not being very clear. Am I to understand you choose to let go ?"

Today's email was about how terrible and boring it is to have a routine future without her, and how terrible that future is....OMG..there is hope..I am seeing a few therapist tomorrow to finally get a diagnosis to convince her there was no addiction, spending a stupid amounts on this, have been paying so many psychologist to find out how to speak to her.

And after I clarified that I have not given up on fixing things, and for her to tell me if she has given up, if not I will keep fighting, she answered "Your choices are your own"

EDIT..

It felt like I could breath again.. I hope the therapist will do something useful..I will keep reading about relationships and communication meantime. I read enough about addiction to know that unless its extreme, they have no idea what they are on about.

[Petals]

I'm sorry but this thread is an example of Insanity!!! or maybe you are just a masochist!

[differentcountries]

You should not have to see a psycologist to learn how to best speak to your girlfriend. But I imagine psycologists can help you learn to speak better to yourself, as in not obsessing as much.

As for your boredom, my boyfriend gets easily bored too (not so much in his job, which he at least likes in part, but in his free time when I am not there). I think it comes a bit from the "working hard"-mentality, as well as I don't think anybody ever encouraged him to use his imagination, or be in touch with his feelings. I try to teach him to relax more when he is off hours (he even walks extremely fast when we are at the grocery store, wheras I like to stroll and take my time at the isles), and I hope in summer to help him find fun stuff to do for himself when he has the time, and something physical to replace the gym lessons he has been taking for years and does not even like. We are amused by a couple of things that we share (besides sex and all): cats, food making, melancolic music and bicycle rides. He actually started learning to cook after meeting me, which I am proud of - because that means he can enjoy himself alone, too. And he made me remember how fun and liberating it is to ride bikes (which his city is ideal for). I always find stuff to do, as I am imaginative as well as am a bit afraid that I will get bored. Actually, MY therapist (or she was more like a physical therapist with some trainings of the mind, but they are eual to psycologists here) said that a sense of boredom IS an affliction. I means that you don't properly engage in the moment, as in you don't have enogh mindfulness. Ever since I was I child I always wanted to find something to do, at any given time. But appreciating doing nothing is quite a gift, if you can manage (I suspect your gf cannot teach you this). And then you can watch porn as well as be fine with not watching porn.

[seras]

It does not matter anymore...she says there is no chance..she called..she refuses to see it any other way......She refuses to believe any other thing..her psychologist convinced her I have an addiction......she without knowing how much I suffered and felt..went to the psychologist and he or she convinced her..

[seras]

I lost the best thing that ever happened to me........

[seras]

She made that very clear too, that she is the best thing that happened to me..sigh...we both would have done everything together....why did her damn psychologist have to convince her..she only kept the email so I could keep apologizing to her so she could get closure..

EDIT

She blocked and deleted me from everything already....I am crushed..I don't know what to do now..our rings are still with me..spent so much on her..did so much for her...and she destroyed all of that because she is hurt and she believes there is an addiction...refusing to change her mind..or try to see things any other way.....

[seras]

I have never seen her on video too...I don't know what to do now, but I think I will keep exercising and get the body I always wanted first. Send out resumes by the end of the month...feels like I will never be in a relationship again, that is what I get for being fully committed..

[Unconditional]

You've never seen her on video....and yet you spent cash on her.
this just sends up the mother of all red flags!!!!

[seras]

We spoke everyday nearly 24/7 for over a year..its not that crazy..she was always conscious about her looks so she could only see me. what should be insane are our couple rings...it was suppose to be 7-8k but I got lucky during a promotion and got 50% off

I painted that for her, we were experimenting on a lighted canvas for our home..

EDIT

As you can see...she likes purple..

And again..we spoke everyday non-stop for 2 years..its not a red flag. I trust her with everything. Her motive was not money..

EDIT

And SINGAPORE is the only country in the world with purple gold..We were so matched.. I am such a screw up....if only I didn't lie to her..I was constantly so afraid she would leave me, constantly fearful of hurting her..

EDIT

She chose the rings...we went out everywhere..She constantly saw everything I was looking at..I miss her so much...

[seras]

And since I am uploading photos..Here is my dog which she really loves too...

[seras]

This is a 3 year journal that LDR couples should consider getting



And lastly a song for all LDR couples, its literally A video made with LDR in mind

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdN5GyTl8K0

EDIT

The RINGS are still with me because you cannot send gold to israel, not to mention gold and diamonds...purple gold is 19k even higher then bulgari or cartier..

Since my father goes to Israel for business many times a year, he offered to be my courier many times, but she refused saying that she is uncomfortable..which is understandable..

EDIT

I am beyond broken now, I never wanted a relationship and after getting forced to have sex with a girl I decided it was too unsafe to even go on dates to let the person down slowly..And just stayed away from females.. from university till now...

My first and ever true love..my first real commitment..I don't even know why I am not crying or dead now because I hurt like crazy. feels like my heart is going to stop

[seras]

I have never been lonely my entire life before her....Now I feel so lonely..so..I don't even know how to describe it..but so alone..I feel like I want to jump into another relationship immediately, but I know that is stupid. I don't want to hurt another person, or to compare others to her. I know everyone is an individual..

I just feel so alone now..I was so comfortable with her..no one I have ever met in real life saw me for who I am...I wouldn't be able to trust anyone in real life to like me for who I am either..what a screwed up life...I was so happy being alone before.. i was so happy playing my games, watching my animes..hanging out with family only...

Now I feel so isolated and alone, I no longer want to play games because I do that with her, I no longer want to do anything..because we were suppose to do everything together...I have no outlet..my only source of joy in the past is gone...I never liked going out, drinking, playing. Only attend parties because I had to. Was always safer at home, rather then question the intentions of everyone....

I have no idea what to do now....

[Sanja]

Right now you should concentrate on feeling better. She made it clear that she's the best that's ever happened to you? That sounds a bit arrogant on her part. Sorry, but she's not the only girl out there, and yes, I know you say you love her, but frankly, it sounds much more like an unhealthy obsession. Obviously, she does not want the relationship with you, so do yourself a favor and move on. Don't make excuses for her and guilt yourself into feeling like you did everything wrong and she's a perfect.

[seras]

You are right...I don't even know how to feel better now anyway....I forgot how to enjoy myself without her..2 years..fun,games and challenges.everyday together...how am I going to find such a relationship ever again.. nothing...I can't think of anything I wish to do now...she made me delete every female off my skype list too.. And all the guys are her friends from games..so they all deleted me too when I was begging them for help..

Sigh....don't even know what to say to my extended family who all thought I was going to med school. registration deadline in 4 days, we took the exams, everything gone....there is no point going alone and my mother would rather that I just take an MBA from my country.

Literally its like I forgot how to be alone..

EDIT