LDR and money...

[Alma]

OKay, so now I have the opportunity to rent an apartment. But there is a huge negative point. It is expensive....

I have to pay 500 € rent (including internet and electricity etc.)
I'll have 392 € left over after I've paid all my fixed costs. And after June 2015 it will be just 228 €

What do you think? Is that enough money for a LDR? I will also try and find a job..something like babysitting.

[differentcountries]

It all depends on your expenses. Our flat costs (in loan expenses) 1500 € and internet and electricity comes on top of that. That is really cheap where I live, and people renting have much higher expenses. But we also have higher salaries.

I don't use that much money on living, but I spend a big ammount on food. I eat like a grown man (stricktly speaking I am also the size of one).

What are your planned expences for the LDR (visits, gifts, letter, phone bill etc)?

[Alma]

Wow!

Well, mostly visitis. We only talk on skype. So, no phone bills.
And biggest planned expence would be to close the distance someday..(but I wouldn't have to pay for that alone, of course). That sucks soooo much.

Now I am not sure If I should sign the contract and keep looking to find something cheaper, which is near impossible.

The only cheapest way to find a place to live would be a shared apartment, but it's difficult to find one since there are alot of students in Berlin.

[Kapwned]

I've been blessed with an easy 'international' relationship. We're only 3 hours apart but separated by a border, so I can only visit him so often. Canada and the US have the NEXUS card which helps make passing through the border easier. And I usually take the bus because it's cheaper on gas and easier to pass through the border. I only pay $35 for a round ticket.

The rest is 'white whine' such as having to maintain a safe range of cash on me which I've estimated is about 400-500 for a weekend.

[pretty_in_pink]

Hey everyone! i'm new to the forum and wanted to hear other peoples experiences with LDRs. I myself am in one, my bf lives in America and i'm British. I'm struggling with the whole money situation at the moment because I've just graduated and i'm looking for work within my field.. and he still doesn't know what he wants to do (education wise) so he wants to save a little to put away for university if he decides to go, aswell as saving for his ticket to come see me. I guess my point is i'm a little down because right now neither of us are in a position to go see one another, the last time i saw him was april and i was hoping he'd be able to come visit by Jan but its not looking hopeful how often do you get to see your SO? he also works a lot and isn't on a great wage so even though we message each other everyday we only get to Skype once a week if we're lucky.

[differentcountries]

I get to see my SO every month for a week/8 days. The deal with work is that I get one work week a month free to work on my project, which I do (it may surprise people that I manage to do that, but he works 10 hours a day when I am there, and it is actually nice to have something useful to do besides housework and language studies). What I usually do is I travel in and out on a Saturday, which gives me cheep plane tickets and also a little resting time on Sunday before the new work week starts. We usually Skype every day, unless there is some special reason not to.

[pretty_in_pink]

oh that sounds great! you get to see each other often then, and i'm sure its much easier to keep in touch via Skype since the time difference isn't that big for you guys either

[QueenRancid]

I'm having the same problem right now. My BF and I have been planning for me to go to the UK where he is studying, but plane tickets cost an arm and a leg. And he's having issues with money constantly and his family always wants him to send money back home. I don't know what to do. We've been together for almost two years and I love him but I get tired of having to change plans when something comes up with him. I've been ready to go and I have money saved up to pay for our 'mini-vacation' we were going to have while I'm there. He told me he'd pay for the plane ticket (I didn't ask him to, he just told me he would). I'm also terrified of going there without a visa (apparently I don't need one) and getting rejected entry to the UK so it would all be for nothing. Any suggestions? I have no one to talk to about LDR's because no one in my family has ever had one.

[Hollandia]

I'm having the same problem right now. My BF and I have been planning for me to go to the UK where he is studying, but plane tickets cost an arm and a leg. And he's having issues with money constantly and his family always wants him to send money back home. I don't know what to do. We've been together for almost two years and I love him but I get tired of having to change plans when something comes up with him. I've been ready to go and I have money saved up to pay for our 'mini-vacation' we were going to have while I'm there. He told me he'd pay for the plane ticket (I didn't ask him to, he just told me he would). I'm also terrified of going there without a visa (apparently I don't need one) and getting rejected entry to the UK so it would all be for nothing. Any suggestions? I have no one to talk to about LDR's because no one in my family has ever had one.

I went to the UK a month ago. My stay was for two weeks. As a citizen here is what you need to do. Make sure you have your return ticket available. Make sure you can show you have a place to stay, either a copy of your hotel reservation or a letter from whoever you are staying with. If it is not a super long visit they must likely won't ask to show you have funds to cover your stay. I had my credit cards and a little cash. They will ask why you are coming and if you have every been there before and after they will need to see your USA passport. You don't need any special type of visa as an American, but you must have a passport. They will check your stamps to make sure you have never overstayed and then they let me in.

Next time I go back it is for longer, so I will also be bringing a copy of my bank statement showing I have enough funds to cover a longer visit.

[differentcountries]

oh that sounds great! you get to see each other often then, and i'm sure its much easier to keep in touch via Skype since the time difference isn't that big for you guys either

It is. We are very lucky. The time difference between our countries is only one hour.

[lordpsymon]

I paid for the flights over to Orlando, and both of our flights to New Zealand. She is paying for the hotels while I am in Orlando, and we're splitting the rent, food and bills when she gets here. So far it all seems to be working nicely money wise, despite me being a student and not earning huge amounts.

[Redheart14]

My SO lives in Germany and I live in California, so I feel your stress, Alma! My SO and I both have pretty good jobs, but we're also both students. We both have a fair amount of savings, and we're both a bit stingy when it comes to money ^^

Throughout our relationship, the person who travels to the other one pays for their own flight. In return, the other person will pay for most of the expenses throughout the visit. It does get expensive, but it is 100% worth it!

My SO and I do something similar. Whoever is hosting pays for everything and the visitor pays their flights. I guess I'm more fortunate I'm in the same country a my SO, but flight can be a killer on the budget. Do the airlines you fly with have "happy hour" sales? Where you can get cheaper flights? Or if you book way in advance is it cheaper? I know nationally where I am there are these options, is it the same for you?

What about a travel account? My friend's SO lives in Brazil, she set up a travel account and on her 21st, Xmas and birthdays instead of gifts people can put money into an account. I think it was linked to her travel agent or something (don't know the specifics on how it worked) and it would contribute to her next trip over there.

[katie.lvd34]

When it comes to money my SO and I don't split things. I paid for my ticket to him and he will pay for his ticket to me. We do, though, live with one another. Since we both still live with parents, we both brought money to help out with groceries, and his really helps! When I was with him in the Netherlands, he paid for most of the things we went and did (We split a few of the most expensive things) and when he comes here I will pay for most of the things we do as well! I agree, ending the distance is an issue when it comes to money. When he comes here (I think that is what we have decided to do! But maybe not, either) we will have an apartment and we will split our wages to pay for it. Though, once we are married we will have a unified account (What's mine is his! And what's his is mine!). Money is tight for both of us. We work hard to send one another nice gifts. But unfortunately for the near future both of us will both be struggling with money! I would never end my relationship with him just because of money. I would work my booty off to help pay for him to come here if I had too.

[farandaway]

It's about priorities most of all. I would have given anything to be able to see him earlier but now I can finally in to see him. I was lucky to get off season tickets for about 630 euros in October! We have plans to be together for Christmas and will be whole another story. So far I'm the one who's always flown to see him and I've also bought the ticket but he will then say for most everything at his end. This will be the first time I will spend at his apartment and we won't have any hotel costs. Restaurants and shopping will be limited. I'm there to share to share his workdays with him. We want to be a real couple. Wake up together, go to his office to work together, cook together and so on. We won't be spending any money that we wouldn't spend on our own. It's always the flight that is the big deal. I don't think it will ever be an issue for him and I. Who ever has the money, will pay. It's money well spent :-)

[Alsfia]

We have been every fortunate in that our families have been very supportive throughout the relationship, I have even joined him and hos family on a couple family holidays and he joined mine this year. I've made a point to pay all my flights to him on my own (my family couldn't pay for it even if they wanted to though) and while we were still figuring out the best route I would pay for trains in Finland. His family is far better off than mine and has contributed to my SO's flights and trains in the UK. Right now I'm the one with a job so I pay for everything while living here (I'm lucky to have a well paying job) and he paid for our flights to France this Christmas, and probably will pay for other flights during the remainder of our gap year.

The first year and a half we paid our own expenses a lot more, now it's just who affords it really. I've had to work quite hard to afford the amounts of visits we've had, as well as dipped in to my savings at times (so far I've succeeded in maintaining a fair buffer though), but it's all been worth it for us.