If anyone ever needs advice about Indian, Desi, or Intercultural Relationships...

[Miasmata]

The better way to go about this is to check in on the forums regularly and respond to threads that ask for help if you think you can help. That's how it works - People come here to ask for support, and then you can decide to give them that or not. Don't wait for them to come to you, specifically, without even knowing what's up. OP, your heart is surely in the right place, but try taking a step back and instead replying to folks who actually want the help, okay?

[CanadianGirl]

I'm glad it's working out for you, but whenever someone implies they know everything about a culture (especially one they weren't raised in), it's going to come off as insulting. My family is South Asian and they're very traditional, so I know what attitudes you're getting at. Even I'm not an expert in navigating it and I've had plenty of time to work on it!

[Harlequin]

I wonder, what suggestions do you have for dating an American? I am not Indian, but I am from Europe and so we do have a different culture.

I can help!

Dating an American can be pretty tough if you're not too familiar with our culture. The first thing you might notice is that a typical American will usually have a framed copy of the Constitution framed prominently in their bathroom, facing the toilet. This is because the toilet is the most likely place for any American to spend the most time sitting down outside of the living room, so it gives them enough time to relax and read out loud (because we take "freedom of speech" very seriously) what is widely regarded as a literary classic by most Americans. If you can, try to at least make yourself familiar with the Preamble. It's to the US Constitution what the Inferno is to Alighieri's the Divine Comedy.
The Constitution usually isn't hanging in the living room, because there you will find a large TV on which you can watch the REAL American past time: Dancing with the Stars. It's a federal offense to keep both in the same room at the same time due to what is commonly referred to as "Two to Tango Syndrome". This happens when an American is reading the Constitution while watching Dancing With the Stars, and accidentally mistakes the judges scores for a blatant display of Amendment Favouritism. This usually causes the American to walk in small, counter-clockwise circles until either the Constitution is turned around or the TV is turned off. Although it's illegal to keep both, judges of Dancing With the Stars have since started scoring all contestants with either a 1 or a 2, because those are the nation's top two favourite Amendments and are the least likely to cause TtTS. Dancing With the Stars is the most unique show on American television, because it's been running the same exact season for the past 57 years.
Now, don't be alarmed by the seemingly excessive number of bald eagles your boo is keeping in his kitchen cabinets.
If you find your honey is feeling a little down, the best way to cheer him up would be to sing him a jaunty and well-loved American folk song, "You're a Grand Old Flag". I personally keep a playlist of patriotic songs on my ipod just in case I'm out somewhere and start to feel a little red (in the US, we say "feel a little red" instead of "feel a little blue", because red is the color of Communism. Which is bad). I'll share my playlist with you if you need ideas of other songs to use:

If you're stuck on trying to find a gift for your sugar pie honey bunches of oats, I strongly recommend this print of George Washington praying over Valley Forge. It's very sentimental in nature, and it'll show him that you're really beginning to understand all the nuances of American culture. From an American perspective looking to welcome someone from an outside culture, I personally got my s/o a baseball with all the faces of the US Presidents on it:

It's a bit less formal than the painting, but it's still a lovely way to welcome someone into our culture. I get nostalgic just looking at it.

Overall, just go with the flow. Americans can be a bit overbearing at first, but we're really a friendly bunch. We like to shoot off fireworks for no reason and thank Obama for everything. Just give it some time, and you'll be okay

OH! If you find yourself in Boston, do NOT mention anything about tea parties. Just don't.

[Moon]

There are no words.....

I need to send this to my boyfriend, just so he can see in writing how correct he's been about US culture!

[whatruckus]

I can help!

I'm dying right now.

[TheSteelAngel]

I'm dying right now.

Me too lol. Made my night. That's 'murican pride right there lol

[lucybelle]

Harlequin nails it again.

More on topic- I, too, am an expert in all things Indian (north and south!) I spent two weeks there and I have an Indian friend. So if the OP is busy, you can always ask me your questions! Thanks or as they like to say in India- toratora!

[TheSteelAngel]

Harlequin nails it again.

More on topic- I, too, am an expert in all things Indian (north and south!) I spent two weeks there and I have an Indian friend. So if the OP is busy, you can always ask me your questions! Thanks or as they like to say in India- toratora!

[80anthea]

Harlequin - best post ever!

And better still, I now know exactly what to buy him for his next birthday

[TwoThree]

Omfg Harlequin You are my hero!

[Alle1770]

Harlequin - best thing I've seen all day, thank you for making my evening

[randomnerd]

I'll check out your blog. My SO is desi and I agree that it can be a bit overwhelming walking into the relationship without knowing... My SO is culturally American but his family is not.

[MyHindiHeart]

Well, that's all very encouraging. I hope you all get what you put into this.

And to be fair, it's very real that people want to learn about another culture. People come here all the time to learn more about their International SO's culture. We are all here to learn from one another.
I'm not really sorry if my post came off as presumptuous, and I can't control how you perceive it.
You'd be surprised how many people struggle with understanding Indian culture.

There was so much that I didn't know, even after all of my research, when I arrived in India. The fact that you are mocking this, confirms that you have never had to deal with anything like I have had to deal with. I get that. So if you can't relate, move on. This isn't for you.

If I said, "I know everything" then you can be rude to me.
And we do have a success story. Regardless of how many years we have on our hands. You have no idea what we have been through to be where we are now. I'm definitely not new to this, and I won't accept being treated like it.

If I have broken any rules by starting this post, let the admins handle that. If you don't like what you are reading, don't look at it.

My choosing to talk about this does not make me more "American". I am simply, and humbly, helping others who struggle with understanding this specific culture. If that is worthy of being mocked, I assure you it's not because I'm American.

I just learned that this website is full of hateful people. Who would have guessed?

And to clear something up, we have closed the distance. I live in New Delhi, India, with my SO. I'm just currently visiting home right now.

Wow, I cannot believe I was so torn down like that, on this forum. It really blows my mind.

[lucybelle]

Like a wise person once said "If you don't like what you are reading, don't look at it"

[whatruckus]

The fact that you are mocking this, confirms that you have never had to deal with anything like I have had to deal with.

That's a very nice assumption considering the whole forum is full of members with international relationships, and yes, they have had to deal with learning new and different cultures than their own. That is why your thread was mocked. It insulted other members on here, or insinuated, that no one else really knows what it's like to be in an intercultural relationship. And, your reply sealed that fact.

The reason why your "years" (or lack thereof) of experience was brought up because not everyone takes someone who's only been in a relationship for less than a year seriously. It's not necessarily a success story because you're not even done with the honeymoon phase, which typically lasts anywhere from 1 year to 2 years. Most of the couples on here have been in their intercultural relationships for 2+ years, at least.

Also, the best way to really give advice to someone who's seeking this information is to reply to their threads when they make one. The whole point is to get multiple people's opinions and advice on issues.