Misconceptions that annoy me to no end about meeting someone online.

[Ryuh]

Hello everyone! This is my first time posting a thread.
I'd just like to express some common misconceptions that people have about meeting someone online.


First off, to give you some background, I met my SO on an online mmorpg game called "RuneScape". Most people can't wrap their head around the idea that I met and fell in love with someone I met on an online video game..

Perhaps that's because people are so misinformed about online relationships. When I say we met online, most people think that we met in a Yahoo chat room and his screen name was "bigdaddy4u" but it's not like that at all! Where did people get this idea that if you meet someone online, they're automatically 1) Not who they say they are. 2) Out to sexually abuse you. 3) Old, fat, ugly, and bald. 4) They'll cheat on you.

Although it is true that there are some people out there like that, most of the people that meet their SO's online are very smart about who they talk to and look for red flags and are very aware.

It annoys me so much how mislead people are. The truth of it is, as you can probably relate to, is that I talk to my long distance love probably more then you talk to your girlfriend/boyfriend who lives in the same town as you! So I know everything about him inside and out, because that's all we have to go off. Talking. I think that's why people just don't understand how close people in a long distance relationship can get, so fast. It's much different then having a relationship with someone you live by.

It's not the 1990's anymore, people hardly use chatrooms, we all use Skype, so I think it's time for people to stop assuming things that aren't true!
I just thought you all could relate to this. Maybe you can, maybe you can't.

[snow_girl]

You're preaching to the choir

[floridaellen]

I agree with all of your points. I met my SO on Facebook technically but we met up 3 weeks later and had mutual friends. I just don't understand the negativity concerning couples who meet online.

Although I think everyone in a long distance relationship is told that their SO is totally going to cheat on them. Yeah right, like he can't keep it in his pants until I visit.

[Bex2804]

I was lucky enough to start off CD (for a week!) so I knew who he was BUT we did our first talking via facebook so I see where you are coming from. I think people see meeting online as a bad thing because there are some generally STUPID people out there who don't know who they are talking to then end up six feet under... I'm all for relationships that start online and I wish you and your SO the best of luck in your relationship! <3

[Zephii]

I have to say, what the hell do you expect.. really?

We are the first generation where online dating is a viable method of meeting a life partner. Any time you're the first to do something, or you're in the minority when it comes to how you're doing something, you're going to be met with people who don't get it, or who think it's more dangerous than it is, people who don't or can't understand.

Of course, people get these misconceptions from the horror stories. From the media. Because they make good headlines - they are shocking - they make for decent gossip over a cuppa when you're talking to that girlfriend you hardly ever see. They also feel justified in their assumptions because many people whose relationships start out online are ashamed of that fact, or worried about how it will be received, and the people they talk to can sense that. If you're giving off an "I think my dating style is weird" vibe, other people are going to tend to agree with you.

So, you can either let that shit upset you, or you can try to understand their point of view and get on with setting a good example.

[Nbaby]

LOL at the "bigdaddy4u" made my day . I can relate to this topic. It can get akward when family members ask how you 2 met. But I dont care. As long as ure happy that is what counts. Just prove them wrong and show them that it is possible.

[Carenza LaRue]

yeah...can relate to that also..

my SO's friends still think I only want him to get a green card.....

hahahah......as if I need that living where I do.

[Dziubka]

I don't want to derail this thread... but everyone has to deal with some sort of misconceptions.

I met my boyfriend at a concert/show and I had people tell me that he just wanted to get laid/we were drunk and he was told some weird things about exchange students
There are people who find reasons to talk about you(r relationship) no matter what. Let them talk, you can't please everybody. Why would you even care what random people think about your relationship?

[AvaLouise]

For me, most people don't seem to care too much that we met online. The few people I've told only get weirded out by the fact that he's 20 while I'm 16. the only person who hasn't cringed at that is my mom, surprisingly enough.

But really, people will always think its weird if you met online, there's no way to get around it.

[lissla]

my boyfriend and I met on Runescape aswell

[Rugger]

People have these misconceptions because some of the time they are true. Some people you meet online are out to 1) rape and/or kill you. It has happened. Women meet people online and they end up dead. The Craiglist Killer anyone? 2) Not who they say they are? People lie online all the time. Sending old pictures. Lying about their age. Examples of this are in the confession boards all over this site. 3) Will cheat on you? No matter where you meet someone, they could cheat on you.

This is all coming from someone who met someone on an online forum and had an LDR with them. I met him for the first time in a public place,with my mom present. Our relationship ended because he cheated on me with someone he lived near.

Moral of the story: There's no reason to get mad about it. Just ignore people and play it safe.

[Gingersquish]

I get why people may think that meeting someone online is dangerous, there's always a risk, but having grown up in this generation and being so used to talking through social media you can kind of tell if the person you are talking to is genuine or not.

I met my boyfriend on Twitter, we spoke everyday and immediately I knew he wasn't some dodgy weirdo! Our relationship progressed and we were using *actions* as we spoke etc so like: *hugs you* or *throws a pillow at you* etc. At first to me this was unusual and to other people, but soon that became 'us'! We discovered we were both going to the British Grand prix and decided to meet up. I'd seen him on Skype before so I at least knew what he looked like! Everyone was so scared for me trying to stop me from going but I knew it was right and I liked him that much, why not give it a go? After spending a couple of days together we gave the LDR thing a try. I know 78.2 miles isn't a lot, but when you love someone like I love him. You don't care how you met or what risks you went through.

Distance is distance and it hurts!

[kittyo9]

I get why people may think that meeting someone online is dangerous, there's always a risk, but having grown up in this generation and being so used to talking through social media you can kind of tell if the person you are talking to is genuine or not.

Man, I thought I replied to this thread with something similar... maybe that was a different thread.

Anyway, see above. I have to constantly deal with this crap every time I go home because no one can seem to accept the fact that he is a genuine person on the internet. Who the hell am I, then?!

[digitalfever]

Look.., when your doing something that isn't considered conventional there will be judgement and even then people will judge you.

[Verojoon]

When my BF and I were broken up, I met someone else. I met him on facebook and I had the impression he was a douchebag (even though there was nothing especially douchebaggy on his facebook or anything... just got this vibe...) Met him again, this time on a dating website, so I decided to give him a chance and meet him in person... as friends...

well in person, he came off as the sweetest, most sincere (though over the top and intense) guy ever... and I let myself kind of fall for him (as much as someone can in a couple of weeks) then, he turned out to be a douchebag!! I sure have trusted my "online instinct" they'd never been wrong before...

I think most of us have different environments were we are more comfortable, and our instincts are usually better tuned to those environments...

We have to be cautious about the people we meet no matter how we meet them. People can be just as creepy/dangerous in person as they are online... Last summer I had someone put a date rape drug in my drink... Luckily I was there with a sober friend who was able to keep me safe... but it could have been a very bad situation... and totally offline... come to think of it, I seem to get myself into the most trouble offline than online... :P