how old were you when you got engaged???

[~whendarknessfalls]

Hey guys! my SO and i have been seriously talking about getting engaged at some point this summer... 0_o Crazy!
He is 22 and i am 20...is that too young? I'm just curious what the average age is. How old were you when you got engaged?

[ChibiFelicia]

26, we got engaged just after easter this year. I dont think theres a right age to be engaged. Its different for every couple. I've known quite a few couples who got engaged fast and married and are still married. I've known some who got married young and divorced young. I think it's where you are in your life. Some people know who they are early on and some just dont. I was one of those people who didnt really know themselves at 20. I had much to learn and im so glad i did not accept the proposal i had at that age. At 27 im still young but i know myself quite a bit better and him being 33, we're both ready now

[notyourexgirlfriend]

In all honesty I think I was too young. I was 21 when I got engaged the first time, married at 22, separated at 25, divorced at 26. I got engaged again at 27, married again at 27, child at 28, separated at 33 and divorced at 34. So, I'm probably not the best person to get advice from. My LDR SO is considerably younger than I but we've been together almost 18 months and I have no real desire to get married again given my track record.

That said, I know people who were engaged and married at 18 and are still together so who am I to say.

[lademoiselle]

I'd say it very much depends on the couple, and how long they plan to be engaged for. I've never been engaged but my SO and I are the same age as you and your SO, and I know we're not yet ready to take that step. I wouldn't want to make that commitment until we'd closed the distance and had been living together for a while, so maybe 4 or 5 years from now. Also, I'd much prefer a short engagement (no longer than a year). What wouldn't work for our couple may well work for yours though, since no two relationships or situations are identical. I think you have to do what you feel is right for you

[leonsfangirl]

The first time... i was 22.
The second time i was 29

[lala]

I'm turning 24 this year..and it is the first relationship for me with m SO (we are now one year together). I feel as he is the right guy but still for me i think it's too early to be engaged. We are LD and we haven't seen eachother for a year.. so how am I supposed to learn about him?to argue and make out..to be there for him and he for me? I think it needs time to make such a decision as to get engaged especially when you are LD... I would also like him to meet my family an friends before me get engaged. I don't want to be naive and get engaged just because I love someone.. it takes more for this step.
My cousin married with 21 and got divorced just after a couple of years..and my family was shocked and they still have the fear that it will happen with me... but like I said, it takes time to get to know a person that good that you are sure that you want to marry him/her and spend the wole life with.

[Dziubka]

I think it's not so much a question of age, but rather of life situation.
I don't see the sense in getting engaged when you're not planning a wedding in the forseeable future. To me engagement is the time for actively planning a wedding, so anything longer than 1,5 or two years before the actual wedding is sort of pointless in my eyes. You can be serious and even agree that you want to get married without an engagement.

So imho:
So if you want to get married within the next 1-2 years => good! If not = Too Early.

[lucybelle]

There's lots of threads on this, I think the basic consensus is "you're old enough when you're ready".

With that being said, I'm cynical and I do believe that getting married 21 or under is too young. I can't stop people from doing it, but you also can't make me like it I also think getting engaged just to be engaged is silly. If you're not planning a wedding in the near future, there's just no reason to be engaged. It reminds me of "My Cousin Vinny"

[Haley53]

I'm somewhat with lucybelle. I can't imagine being engaged at this age. I'm not sure I can imagine being engaged in a year or two, either, which is scary given that that's when we'll be discussing our "big plans," if we decide to pursue them. Maybe they don't have to lead to engagement... I don't want to get married until I've completed school or am almost done with my advanced degree, either, simply because at this age, I'm not sure marriage should be the focus. For me, it's about getting my life in place and doing what I need to do to pursue my occupational goals and, later, my ambitions, so I feel like throwing marriage into it might complicate it all a bit. But I'm fairly cynical as well, and have my opinions about young marriages/engagements.

[C.M.]

......

[kirbycat]

I agree that it differs for every couple. Some people have their lives in place enough and the maturity to marry young; others don't. I didn't know myself well enough in my early 20's, and certainly wouldn't have been ready for marriage, but I know lots of people who were. My brother-in-law was 19 when he married my sister (she was 23), they've been happily married for over 10 years, and they're some of the most financially and generally responsible people I know. So yeah, it depends on the couple. But even if it's true that "when you know, you know," (about finding the person you want to marry), it can never hurt to just keep knowing and wait a couple years.

In my opinion - and obviously I have no personal experience to back this up, so take it as you will - I think good pre-marital counseling is very important for any young couple. No matter how mature you are, there are so many issues that you haven't encountered or even considered when you're that young, about married life, finances, careers, children, etc., and it's good to give all that some serious discussion before tying the knot.

[Zephii]

I was 23. For me it's not about the age of the people involved, but the age of the relationship. If you're in your forties and you're getting engaged on the third date I'm still going to have a face like this -->

But really it's different strokes for different folks. Go with what feels good for you!

[Haley53]

I was 23. For me it's not about the age of the people involved, but the age of the relationship. If you're in your forties and you're getting engaged on the third date I'm still going to have a face like this -->

But really it's different strokes for different folks. Go with what feels good for you!

This is true too. xD

[princessmeg1328]

I was 23 when my fiance and I got engaged. However, I agree with the other girls. It really depends on the couple involved. We we get married, we'll have been together for over 2 years. We've also been really lucky that we have gotten to spend 8 months of that actually together. I even lived with him for 4 months straight at a time. Every situation is different though, and you'll know when you're ready.

[Xanahtas]

I got engaged last year when i was 16. By the time we get married we would have been together 3 years and i'll be 18

It depends on the couple, as everyone else has said :P