Hoping for a proposal...

[lucybelle]

I'm just so mystified by all of these people here in their late teens/early 20s who honestly want to get married imminently.

It's biological. Happens to the best of us

[garnet]

I got married at 18. It lasted 11 years. I wouldn't change it. But the thing was, we both wanted it then. It sounds like OP, you are the only one on this side of the fence. You've gotta wait for your bf to join you without pressure if it's going to work.
Young marriage can, and does work/last, but it's all about the people.

[CynicalQuixotic]

It's biological. Happens to the best of us

The thing is, I went through a major wedding obsession phase when I was in my late teens, so I really do get it. What I don't understand is being that age and actively planning on making your wedding fantasies an imminent reality.

To be fair, I'm from a very expensive urban area. You really can't get married until you're in your late 20s here--a lot of people my age are still being supported by their parents into their mid-20s just because everything is so expensive. The whole extended adolescence culture has its downfalls, but I really don't think the age of first marriage getting older is one of them.

[leonsfangirl]

The only difference is the title and a ring.

It's not just a ring and a title, if thats how you see it then you're not ready. It's a big commitment and to me it sounds like you just want to be engaged for the sake of it. You can have a meaningful and long lasting relationship without the ring and the title. Your setting yourself up for a major upset here, if he doesnt want to, drop it.

[nicole]

I'm just so mystified by all of these people here in their late teens/early 20s who honestly want to get married imminently.

I got married at 22. But like Garnet said, both of us were on the same page- OP's boyfriend is definitely not on the same page. Me and my husband talked of engagement and marriage for over a year, what it would mean for us, what was next, everything we could have talked about, we did. I do think we would have waited a little bit longer had we had the luxury of being at least from the same country, however, we worked with what we had. I don't think it would have been much longer though, we were BOTH ready for this. It's so much more then a ring and a title, and I do feel it is taken too lightly sometimes.

[CynicalQuixotic]

I got married at 22. But like Garnet said, both of us were on the same page- OP's boyfriend is definitely not on the same page. Me and my husband talked of engagement and marriage for over a year, what it would mean for us, what was next, everything we could have talked about, we did. I do think we would have waited a little bit longer had we had the luxury of being at least from the same country, however, we worked with what we had. I don't think it would have been much longer though, we were BOTH ready for this. It's so much more then a ring and a title, and I do feel it is taken too lightly sometimes.

Oh, please don't think I'm saying that all people who marry young are idiots that are doomed to failure. I don't believe that at all. I just tend to think that in general, the majority of people in their late teens and very early 20s don't really have the maturity/perspective/life experience to have lasting marriages, and statistics back me up. I also think with our current sociocultural and economic climate, it isn't necessary to marry young anymore, so it always sort of baffles me when people get married at that age without extenuating circumstances like yours. I would never say "Oh, they're 18/19/20/21 and getting married, they're obviously going to get divorced!" unless I could tell the relationship was obviously dysfunctional because I'm not clairvoyant, but I'd be lying if I said it wouldn't give me pause.

I really do think immigration situations are a much different matter.

[lucybelle]

II do think we would have waited a little bit longer had we had the luxury of being at least from the same country, however, we worked with what we had.

I know my SO and I would wait longer if visas weren't an issue. Stupid visas!!