Weddings - Where are the biggest costs?

[Miasmata]

Since my mother sadly kinda brushed the topic off, I would like to ask for people's input here!

The main thing that stops me from getting married anytime soon is money. My SO is earning an okay income as a PhD student and I'm doing what I can with my freelance work, but it's certainly all nothing to spend frivolously on a wedding. I'm in no rush to get married, but admittedly do want to see if it would be possible before my SO gets his PhD (which would be in 3-4 years).

So, I'm curious: What are the biggest costs at a wedding, and how can they be avoided? I'm pretty good at organizing events and being frugal with them, but I also don't want to save money in the wrong places. I don't need anything fancy or pompous, all I want is being able to have friends and loved ones there to spend a lovely day with us.

I would greatly appreciate any input or advice with this matter, thank you!

[sasad]

Food at mine.. You can get deals on flowers and places during off season. Sit down dinners can be way expensive especially with an open bar...I think it averaged 55 dollars a seat times 250 guest....

[80anthea]

The biggest cost is the party/reception afterwards. It can be done without spending too much money. When I got married (albeit unsuccessfully but the day itself was successful!) we did it extremely cheaply. I bought a normal dress instead of a specific wedding gown and did most things myself. You're a creative person so you could do invitations, flowers, decorations etc I'm sure. We also had q BBQ in my in-laws garden afterwards instead of hiring a venue.

When SO and I get married, again it will be on very little money. The only thing I'll do differently besides upgrading the man is get more photos. If budget allows I'd hire a photographer for at least part of the day.

[sasad]

Photos... Don't skimp on those. It's once in a lifetime (hopefully) and you want to get great photos!!

[Miasmata]

Thanks a lot for the posts so far!

Open bar, or any kinda bar with alcohol, thankfully won't happen, so that's a big amount of costs already gone. I'm a pretty strict teetotaler and my SO's family are Mormons, so serving alcohol isn't on the table. If people want a drink, they can definitely go to a bar or club after the festivities, no harm in that.

For photos, I got a professional photographer friend who'd be a great fit for the event. I had him doing photo ops and such for me before (including couple pictures of SO and me) and he delivered excellent results.

The biggest issue would really be finding a space that's big enough for the amount of guests coming. Even if only half my friends can come, it would be several dozen people (though definitely not over a 100, or hopefully even close). I have a friend whose parents have a rather big house and garden, but I'm unsure if I could use that. Would be worth discussing, though. Also, I'm definitely not opposed to marrying offseason, where potential venues would be cheaper. Does anyone know how big the difference between season and off-season can be?

For food, is a buffet or a sitdown dinner more expensive? I mean, I can make some of the food myself, but again, the amount I'd need might be a killer for that idea.

[Mims27]

Our wedding was fairly cheap. I guess it depends on how big of a celebration you want. We went with a small wedding because of lack of money and we just wanted those close to us to be there. The biggest cost was the food for sure. For 20 people it was a little over $600 I think, Not including alcohol. But even then, it wasn't that bad. I would say photographer is probably expensive too. My wife's mother is an amazing photographer so that was our wedding gift. We has our "reception" in a restaurent that had it own seperate room so we didn't have to rent a hall.

If you have questions, let me know

[snow_girl]

Photos... Don't skimp on those. It's once in a lifetime (hopefully) and you want to get great photos!!

This is what I was going to say. I want a cheap wedding, but I am not going to find a photographer based on price. You've can't retake a wedding and you want to make sure you know you're going to get quality pictures. I anticipate the photographer to cost about 50% or more of my wedding budget.

[Ella85]

I think our venue is probably going to be pretty expensive, at least $500-1000 because of the day we want. But we are doing the wedding and the reception on the same property. Maybe the pastor will be the next most expensive thing, but apart from that it's pretty much being done on a budget.

[lyonsgirl]

Food (+ drinks + cake). We had a buffet, and it was about 45% of our budget. Reception venue was less than 10%, photographer was about 15%.

I cannot say this enough: don't make anything you'd have to do the day-of. (Unless it's like, buying flowers for your bouquet at a flower stand, and you don't need to do any arranging.) It's not that I don't think you can do it - but with family and friends around, you'd not going to want to. People kept asking if I was nervous leading up to the wedding, and no. In the end, I wasn't nervous about getting married, it was making sure that I had everything I was making (decorations, bouquets, etc) done in time that was stressful. I'm glad I did everything way in advance so in the month or so leading up to the wedding, I had zero to worry about.

[Moon]

In the US, a buffet is almost always cheaper than a sit down, not sure if that's the case everywhere though. Wedding flowers are stupidly expensive, if you know some crafty people, and have a flower nursery nearby, do them yourself. Traditional wedding cakes are also a lot of money that can have an alternate solution. And, if you can find a venue that includes the music, you'll save quite a bit.

My daughter is getting married They're doing some interesting things, if you want to hear, PM me, so I don't jack your thread and make it about me.

[Lilly9886]

Definitely food and drinks. That was around half of our budget. Buffet should be cheaper, less work for the kitchen staff, less waiters.

Also expensive, music. We had a band, but maybe a DJ would be cheaper?

If you do the celebration in a restaurant, it could be cheaper than renting a venue and catering. Because you probably don't have to pay for the room, and food you might want to get anyways.

Cake: we had a traditional wedding cake PLUS a homemade cake buffet (aunts and cousins bringing them). So our wedding cake alone would have been too little for all the guests. It was less expensive that way.

[Miasmata]

A lot of really helpful posts! Thank you all!!

I can see how buffet needs less staff, but preparing all the food could bring the costs up, that's why I wasn't sure. I really like the idea of a handmade cake buffet, I can imagine that saves quite a bit! Maybe making some of the buffet handmade and some of it from a caterer could end up being decently cheap.

I think one of my best friend's moms is a florist, so that might very well save me a lot on costs with flowers! I got another friend who's a professional baker specialized in cakes, so that would be a good saving on the wedding cake, and I got some music-playing friends too as well as DJs (so depending on my budget, I could see about who to get). It really really helps that I got a lot of connections from organizing events before, that will hopefully translate to some decent savings.

Preparing in advance is something I'm all about. I don't like rushing and I don't like doing things at the last minute.

My daughter is getting married They're doing some interesting things, if you want to hear, PM me, so I don't jack your thread and make it about me.

Oh no, if you don't mind, please do share here! You wouldn't make it about you, I would really appreciate hearing it and so might others

[ChloChlo]

Yeah Moon, share away - I'm always up for some wedding-plan lurking!

[snow]

I think overall the hall (450$) and the food (~$200) was the most expensive, if you don't count the dress that my parents bought (€300)! We did a buffet style reception and made all of the food ourselves / the guests brought some deserts, but we really didn't need them because we made 2 sheet cakes and had the wedding cake!

[Moon]

A lot of really helpful posts! Thank you all!!

I can see how buffet needs less staff, but preparing all the food could bring the costs up, that's why I wasn't sure. I really like the idea of a handmade cake buffet, I can imagine that saves quite a bit! Maybe making some of the buffet handmade and some of it from a caterer could end up being decently cheap.

I think one of my best friend's moms is a florist, so that might very well save me a lot on costs with flowers! I got another friend who's a professional baker specialized in cakes, so that would be a good saving on the wedding cake, and I got some music-playing friends too as well as DJs (so depending on my budget, I could see about who to get). It really really helps that I got a lot of connections from organizing events before, that will hopefully translate to some decent savings.

Preparing in advance is something I'm all about. I don't like rushing and I don't like doing things at the last minute.



Oh no, if you don't mind, please do share here! You wouldn't make it about you, I would really appreciate hearing it and so might others

Yeah Moon, share away - I'm always up for some wedding-plan lurking!

OK, I'll come back after work and share