Weddings - Where are the biggest costs?

[lucybelle]

I had a tiny wedding and a year later a small reception. Our reception was a buffet at a restaurant and it included two alcoholic drinks per person plus all the food you wanted (there was a TON). I think it cost us 27$/person. We didn't pay for the space because it was at the restaurant. We had a discounted band because we used the restaurant's band. We had a decent photographer who worked by herself. I bought a chocolate cake from a bakery for like $40. My dress was $60.

It was very cheap.

I will say this- a good party consists of three things- good booze, good food, and good music. I wouldn't skimp on any of those parts. Let the guests buy their own drinks if you can't afford it, but make sure it's at least available.

[Miasmata]

As said, booze is not an option for several reasons. I don't want it there for personal reasons and I don't wanna offend SO's side of the family, either. I'm not too worried about the atmosphere, though, I know my friends and they're a great bunch without drinks too My idea of a good party just doesn't include alcohol, no offense! Good music and good food I definitely agree on, though

That buffet sounds very affordable! How many people came to your wedding, if I may ask? I'll definitely have to shop around and see what different places can offer. As long as the food is decent, I'm not picky, I just want folks to be fed and enjoy the meals!

[Elizabeth123]

It comes down to this....what is most important to you and the groom?
party?
reception before/after?
large group of people?
music and photos?
flowers?
need an actual church?
My wedding was in a chapel with a justice of peace/immediate family only/ lunch after/ photos by family/ professional honeymoon pics/ no music/ no alcohol.
We kept costs down and really enjoyed our honeymoon knowing we didn't have huge bills awaiting us.

[sasad]

It comes down to this....what is most important to you and the groom?
party?
reception before/after?
large group of people?
music and photos?
flowers?
need an actual church?
My wedding was in a chapel with a justice of peace/immediate family only/ lunch after/ photos by family/ professional honeymoon pics/ no music/ no alcohol.
We kept costs down and really enjoyed our honeymoon knowing we didn't have huge bills awaiting us.

Lolol. What's important to the bride and groom can get changed by over enthusiastic parents...This statement is so true about picking what you both want!! My ex mil wanted to do this whole southern thing AND offered to pay for it... Wasn't what I wanted though, so had to decline..
It can be stressful, and like mentioned before, try and keep it what YOU want, but don't be surprised if in laws try to "adjust" sruff to be helpful...

Off season. Not sure if that was answered? In US it's May/June... In VA/TN mountain area, October is very busy! Call around and see what people have their off season. See if you can get a package deal and ask who they recommend etc. I would suggest you taste and see the type of food before you sign a contract with anyone..

[differentcountries]

It depens on how you want to do it, really. There is no way to tell. I personally would feel too self concious to have a wedding photographer or video maker present at the wedding, although that is important to some (my friend had both). I am not one that has to have an expensive dress, but that is important to some. Find out what is important to you, and plan the budget accordingly.

My last wedding, the things we spent the most money on were:
1) the rings (I don't regret one bit spending that much money on them. I mean, it is not supermuch, but it took up 1/3 of our budget)
2) flowers for the bride and groom. I had really, really pretty flowers that made my simple dress look amazing when put together
3) money for food in the restaurant (the smallest part of the wedding)

The food was very reasonable, for the biggest part of the wedding (We split it between two cities) we made all the food ourselves, exept the wedding cakes which we ordered from a local bakery. We made a LOOOOOT of salty food (differnt styles of pies and salad), as I have been to weddings where the food is scarce and that is really the worst thing! We set the food out as a buffet in the hallway and had the seating in the room we rented. It was important for us that we could have a lot of people over, which we could not have afforded if we had ordered catering instead. We did not really have a lot of money at the time. We got married in the register's office (which we had to, because according to the laws we were not allowed to marry in the church since my husband was legally a woman at the time) - we had champagne and strawberries in the sun outside the city hall, which really set the mood . The rent for the room was very reasonable, it was a room above a fancy restaurant (we had originally wanted to rent the restaurant), they included a waiter to set up the buffet and bring tea and coffe etc, and we had acess to the restautant bar were people could buy alcohol. I found my wedding dress second hand - it was very cheap and noone had anything like it, which I liked. I did the makeup an hair myself as I like to do that. We had some simple decorations and flowers and brought music so people could dance. As for pictures, we took them all ourselves or our guests did them. We have had proffessional photoes done, but they were taken a year after. The only way I would want a wedding photograher present on the day, was if it was someone I knew and liked. My first wedding, we had proffessional photos taken on the day, but it was a bit dissapointing even if we did not go for the cheapest option, so I would rather want to find someone specific person to build a chemestry with. I know a photograher, and my husband knows another, so that might be an option if SO and I tie the knot (so to speak). For the smallest part of the wedding, we were in another city so there was some expenses for travel and hotel. I was not used to staying in hotels at the time, so even the small city hotel room felt quite luxurious!

[sasad]

OOo Also there are options to rent a dress (if going for a formal church wedding) .... I would have done that if I thought about it the first time. I actually ended up donating my original gown ... I did buy a nice dress when I married my ex.. It is one I can wear at another formal event.

I would definitely put together a list of must haves and your budget amount, and figure out how you want to allocate from there. You are saving a TON not having the open bar option.

Also also, do a lunch/tea time wedding vs a dinner wedding.. Heavy hors d'oeuvres can be a lot less expensive then dinner options. : )
Damn, I am getting excited about weddings again lol

[Ella85]

I'll try and post some more info when I have a proper idea of what we are spending but for now.
I'm trying to budget $200-300 for decorations.
I'm wearing Kimonos so one cost $160 and another cost $150
I'm looking at another $200 for accessories for my dress.
The hall is $150 an hour on a Saturday or $100 on a Sunday. We are still trying to decide what day.
Food will probably be a few hundred.

[lucybelle]

That buffet sounds very affordable! How many people came to your wedding, if I may ask? I'll definitely have to shop around and see what different places can offer. As long as the food is decent, I'm not picky, I just want folks to be fed and enjoy the meals!

We had 12 people at our wedding (including the two of us) and I believe 25-30 at our reception.

[Ella85]

Venue $300 we are going to try and book on a sunday when it is cheaper and just for 3 hours. We are planning on having the reception somewhere else. No idea how much that'll cost but he says he has some ideas and we'll talk about it more soon. We've picked a date but just have to confirm with the venue.

[TaraMarie]

Weddings come in all shapes and sizes. It depends what you want. The first time I did it up.....$10,000 on the reception and that was 30 years ago. Then another $1000 or so at the after party across the street. On top of that The dress/veil were nearly $1000, plus DJ, flowers, bridal party gifts.....it adds up. I think a lot of girls dream about the wedding day since they are tiny and want to be a princess for the day. It was fun for me and I loved every minute. We were supposed to get married this last September on a cruise, but we had to change plans, so we still haven't picked a new date, but most likely Savannah, with just the kids and some close friends. I am all about simple and elegant.

[Riyko]

My experience with weddings involving one or both of the parties being mormon (most of the mormon weddings I haven't been able to see the actual ceremony since they have it in a temple or church and i'm not allowed in since I'm not mormon haha) they were big on pot lucks or having a group of the women/men who can cook do all of the food for the wedding reception. Some of these weddings there were 500+ people at and it took 2 days to cook all of the food for everyone and they had the food set out buffet style.

[lyonsgirl]

I read through some of these again... And just want to say something - small, but important. Please, whatever you do, do not expect your friends/family to do something for free. Epecially if it's their chosen profession. I have heard too many stories about friendships ending over a wedding. If, and only if, your friend offers to do the service for you as a wedding gift, would I ever think it would be ok to think they're doing it for $0. However... If it were me, I would still, at minimum, pay for their supplies. (cake, buy all the ingredients, that kind of thing.)

Anyway. I'm on my phone so I will stop there, just had to mention it.

[Miasmata]

I read through some of these again... And just want to say something - small, but important. Please, whatever you do, do not expect your friends/family to do something for free. Epecially if it's their chosen profession. I have heard too many stories about friendships ending over a wedding. If, and only if, your friend offers to do the service for you as a wedding gift, would I ever think it would be ok to think they're doing it for $0. However... If it were me, I would still, at minimum, pay for their supplies. (cake, buy all the ingredients, that kind of thing.)

Anyway. I'm on my phone so I will stop there, just had to mention it.

It's a very good point to bring up, no worries! I plan to pay all of my friends for their respective services to the extent that I'm able to. We won't have a ton of money (the whole point of this thread is to help me save on costs when planning, after all), but unless someone offers explicitly on their own, I will not assume they're doing it for free. I'm a freelance artist and I'm confronted with cheapskates all too often, or in general people who grossly underestimate what my work takes, and try to pay me peanuts or even beg me to do it for free. Not gonna be that person to my friends!

[lyonsgirl]

It's a very good point to bring up, no worries! I plan to pay all of my friends for their respective services to the extent that I'm able to. We won't have a ton of money (the whole point of this thread is to help me save on costs when planning, after all), but unless someone offers explicitly on their own, I will not assume they're doing it for free. I'm a freelance artist and I'm confronted with cheapskates all too often, or in general people who grossly underestimate what my work takes, and try to pay me peanuts or even beg me to do it for free. Not gonna be that person to my friends!

I think you are literally the first person I know that has said this. Yay!

[Malaga]

You could save up a lot of money if you choose a day other than Saturday, as many venues offer significant discounts for a non-Saturday reception. You'll also have a greater choice of vendors and more of a bargaining power. Our wedding was on Friday. I did worry whether it would affect people being able to come as we also expected a good number of people from abroad, also local people were just getting back from summer holidays and it was unpredictable. But in the end it wasn't much of an inconvenience for them, almost everyone we expected showed up anyway.