Marriage talk with your SO

[lucybelle]

We've talked about marriage a lot recently. He actually brings it up way more than I do, which really surprises me. Pleasantly so Our plan for now is to get married in January 2013 when we're in the USA on vacation. He has to propose to me eventually. It doesn't have to happen before the courthouse marriage, it just has to happen eventually. (I'd almost prefer for it to be after so that people don't know we plan to get hitched in January!)

[rsvpnj]

We have these talks all the time... I can't wait until we are finally engaged and we can start making some real plans...

[Kristin91]

We'll talk about some things, like a general location or how big our wedding party is going to be, church or no church, etc. But any "planning" that I've done is all things that are for me. Like I want my dad and my step-dad to walk me down the aisle together. And I want two father daughter dances. I've picked out a plum purple color, and my SO actually agreed to that! He doesn't like to talk about it too much, but once in a while he'll go with whatever I'm saying and contribute to the conversation

[skye_michelle]

My boyfriend can't make up his mind on when to get married! One day, it'll be in 5 years, the next day it will be 2, the next it's just "when we're ready", then he'll go back to like 3 or 4 years! I'm scared he's over thinking it, and scaring himself. He says that he's scared it won't work out because we're not ready, but when will we be? How will we know? My mom always says it's something that takes 50% planning and 50% just going for it, but he's 100% planning. I don't want to wait so long that we never get married, because i'm a lot more traditional when it comes down too it (I'm not even going to wear white since I'm not a virgin, because the white signifies purity). I would even prefer being married before we live together, but he wants to wait, and gets upset when I bring it up...I have no idea how to approach it

[lyonsgirl]

My boyfriend can't make up his mind on when to get married! One day, it'll be in 5 years, the next day it will be 2, the next it's just "when we're ready", then he'll go back to like 3 or 4 years! I'm scared he's over thinking it, and scaring himself. He says that he's scared it won't work out because we're not ready, but when will we be? How will we know? My mom always says it's something that takes 50% planning and 50% just going for it, but he's 100% planning. I don't want to wait so long that we never get married, because i'm a lot more traditional when it comes down too it (I'm not even going to wear white since I'm not a virgin, because the white signifies purity). I would even prefer being married before we live together, but he wants to wait, and gets upset when I bring it up...I have no idea how to approach it

Relax. That's the best advice I can give you. I know you're excited (we all are!) but you are only 18. I see you'll be 19 soon (based on one of your countdowns), but I'm going to annoy the crap out of myself and say the one thing that people keep telling me, "You're still young." Focus on the now with each other, and try to focus less on the future, especially if he can't make up his mind. Maybe mention it once in a while, and tell him what you think/how you feel. Tbh, I don't know how you know you're "ready" for marriage. Talk to each other, and you can have a long engagement. Have you considered premarital counseling? It could be a good jumping off point for a lot of conversations between you & your SO about what you're expecting in your marriage.

[skye_michelle]

Relax. That's the best advice I can give you. I know you're excited (we all are!) but you are only 18. I see you'll be 19 soon (based on one of your countdowns), but I'm going to annoy the crap out of myself and say the one thing that people keep telling me, "You're still young." Focus on the now with each other, and try to focus less on the future, especially if he can't make up his mind. Maybe mention it once in a while, and tell him what you think/how you feel. Tbh, I don't know how you know you're "ready" for marriage. Talk to each other, and you can have a long engagement. Have you considered premarital counseling? It could be a good jumping off point for a lot of conversations between you & your SO about what you're expecting in your marriage.

We've talked about getting premarital counselling through the church, since they offer it for free, and our religion is very important to us (we can get it from our old youth pastor) We're planning a long engagement, mainly so we can save up, and have the wedding we want, and everything like that. We don't want to go into it when we're not financially sound, which is the same reason we want to wait even longer to have kids.
I've had some people tell me we're too young, and others tell us to go ahead and get married, since we're going to be living together in a different state starting in August. It's made us super confused on what to do haha

[lyonsgirl]

We've talked about getting premarital counselling through the church, since they offer it for free, and our religion is very important to us (we can get it from our old youth pastor) We're planning a long engagement, mainly so we can save up, and have the wedding we want, and everything like that. We don't want to go into it when we're not financially sound, which is the same reason we want to wait even longer to have kids.
I've had some people tell me we're too young, and others tell us to go ahead and get married, since we're going to be living together in a different state starting in August. It's made us super confused on what to do haha

I'd love to continue this conversation with you, if you're willing. I'll PM you if you're okay with it.

[skye_michelle]

I'd love to continue this conversation with you, if you're willing. I'll PM you if you're okay with it.

That would be fantstic! I really do need advice and such haha c:

[floridaellen]

That would be fantstic! I really do need advice and such haha c:

You can PM me too if you want. I'm having similar issues and I'm 19 :P

[skye_michelle]

I did c:

[XxFranticLovexX]

We've never had this talk seriously yet.. at least as far as I know it hasn't been serious.
We haven't really 'officially' been together for a long time though, so it's understandable.
Though, ever since we started getting to know each other better, we would always say something like "You just need to come here now so we can wed already" when we would find something odd or interesting that we have in common. We also occasionally say things leaning toward the same thing in conversations at random.
He started it and I think it's cute, so I don't mind it. <33

[dglynn77]

Never until he came to IN last week. We were walking and talking about something money related, and he says, "You know you're not marrying a rich man..." I'm like, "what?!" As in, did you just say the word "marrying" in regards to you and I??? I absolutely loved hearing it, especially as he didn't mean to say that, it just popped out! So now I know it is on his mind and in his heart, without me putting it there

[aomnomnom]

I have also talked about marriage already since im from another country and there are paperworks stuff to be considered if we want to live together. I dont want to sound pushy or anything so we were pretty much just joked around, but i have asked him a couple of times if he was being serious. He just told me he couldn't wait to put a ring on my finger and that the ring will be his family heirloom... so i guess he really was being serious about it lol >.<