Meeting for the first time and sharing a hotel room: Yay or Nay?

[Freebird]

The planets and starts have aligned and my BF and I have finally arranged for a two week long visit! He's coming over here from Europe, and it will be the first time we actually meet in person. I am SO excited but unbelievably nervous.

He's coming to my hometown, and I would invite him to stay with me, however I will be back at my parents during that time and it's a full house. So, he must stay in a hotel.

But now I'm wondering if we should share a hotel room that first night or not. Yes, I love him and we've been in a LDR for a few months and have talked for years. But this is our first face to face interaction. I'm scared it will be awkward to share a room first night, but it might be offensive if I say, "hey I know you're my BF but I'm going back home- see you in the morning!".

Euek. Weird situation. I've not brought it up to him yet because that's kind of an awkward scenario!

Curious as to what others think. Advice?

[Davidvs]

On the first night? Absolutely not.
Let your feelings guide you from that point on.

[snow]

Hard to say. I shared a bed with my man from day 1 and all following while I was there. It never bothered me and I would not have wanted it any other way. But this is a decision you have to make yourself, not even together, each on their own.

Do you feel comfortable with sharing the room the first night or would you rather not?

I think he should understand if you don't.

[Moon]

Agree to nothing, and see how it goes. Let the day unfold, and see how you feel about it then, you don't need to make that decision beforehand.

For my first visit, I flew to him and stayed at his place, it just made sense for us. Granted, he had an air mattress ready, and was a total gentleman, so it was all very comfortable. Your comfort level needs to be your first priority, it's important. Good luck.

[Luc]

Depends on how you feel when it's going to happen. Just wait it out for now.

My SO and I definitely plan on sleeping together the first time we're gonna see each other. But every relationship is different.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

The planets and starts have aligned and my BF and I have finally arranged for a two week long visit! He's coming over here from Europe, and it will be the first time we actually meet in person. I am SO excited but unbelievably nervous.

He's coming to my hometown, and I would invite him to stay with me, however I will be back at my parents during that time and it's a full house. So, he must stay in a hotel.

But now I'm wondering if we should share a hotel room that first night or not. Yes, I love him and we've been in a LDR for a few months and have talked for years. But this is our first face to face interaction. I'm scared it will be awkward to share a room first night, but it might be offensive if I say, "hey I know you're my BF but I'm going back home- see you in the morning!".

Euek. Weird situation. I've not brought it up to him yet because that's kind of an awkward scenario!

Curious as to what others think. Advice?

Well, I can think of two options. Get a room with two double beds, or get two separate rooms at the same hotel. That could be fun and romantic, actually, like meet for dinner or breakfast at the hotel restaurant, or bar, and then go to your rooms, maybe down the hall from each other, and then gravitate toward one room or the other to spend the evening talking, watching TV, making out a bit, maybe...and then see what happens. You might end up staying in separate rooms, or you might decide to stay in one room, maybe even in one bed.

[itsjen516]

How do you feel about it ? Its hard to say for me since my SO slept over my place before we were even official. But i had also known him for a few months before that. Why dont you see how the day goes ? Maybe be honest with him and just say you feel a bit shy since you never officially met. But maybe as the week goes on and you see more and more of each other you will feel ok enough to sleep over at the hotel.

[Sora1101]

I stayed in the hotel from the first second I met my SO cuz we had to put both our luggage away (I was about 30 minutes from home so I brought my own overnight bag) and the second we got into the room and had our special first meeting moment we were both so exhausted from being so nervous we passed out right then and there.

I think it all depends on how it goes with you guys, if you feel comfortable sharing a room then I don't see why not, but if you'd feel more comfortable staying at home then that's fine too. just make sure he understands that depending on how you feel is the deciding factor, that way it's less of a let down if you decide to stay at home. Besides if he's there for a week there's plenty more time to cuddle later.

[CanadianGirl]

I found him a hotel room on my campus for his first visit. The idea was that I could just walk back to my residence room to sleep...but I didn't want to. I don't think you need to decide now and I'm not sure it even makes sense to try and decide. You can't really know what you'll feel until it happens. See how it goes and the option is always available if it feels right.

[piratemama]

I agree with others here that you should wait and see what happens. Be prepared for either scenario.

My SO and I spent the first night, and the all other nights, of his first visit here together. I never thought of doing anything differently. It wasn't awkward at all for us.

[differentcountries]

The good thing is that you have got two options. Don't book a second bedroom, it is more discreet to just stay at home if his hotel room is just too much. Be vocal about bring nervous, that will help the both of you to adjust.

[summerkid]

Not saying this is the best option, but I am just putting it out there... maybe you can get a room with twin beds? That way you are in the same room but can sleep in separate beds until you feel more comfortable.

[TwoThree]

On the first night? Absolutely not.

You seem to have pretty strong feelings about the matter

It was absolutely out of the question for me to sleep anywhere but in his bed. Never even considered that one of us might not want to. In hindsight of course things could have gone wrong but then his roommate was out of town and I could have slept in his room.

OP, you need to have a frank talk about this with your SO. Let him know about your doubts and come to an understanding. Book the hotel room but keep the option of going back home if that's what you want to do. It's likely you won't, though

[differentcountries]

It all depends on the way you are and which ways you usually use to ease up. How do you feel loved, or relaxed, or safe? I am a bit on the love languages here. My SO had this way of stroking my hair that was absolutely amazing. But I am a touch person, that speaks to me. Having him confirm me like that made me very comfortable sharing his bed the next day (or, that hotel room we shared). And also, how is your personality? I am kind of outgoing but deep down I am introvert so I charge my batteries alone and value my personal space. If I was a bit uncomfortable with someone, sharing a room but not a bed would not be a solution, I would feel watched and unable to relax. If you have a look at how you are, that might give you the answer as to what to do.

[BlueCat]

Wait until you meet him to make your decision. You can bring it up to him now, but mention that it's something that you're unsure about and won't do unless you feel comfortable after meeting him.

Despite how long you've been talking, there might still be something that when you meet him, makes you uncomfortable. It's not a rude decision to leave him there, it's a matter of comfort and safety.