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    Maintaining contact with someone in another state

    Hello! To start, I am a 27 year old man living in NYC.

    A few months back, something bad happened to me and I ended up being sort of depressed for a little while. A couple of friends from back home (DC area) decided to visit me to cheer me up, catch up, all that good stuff.

    They came up two weekends ago, and brought a friend with them. The friend is a girl in her 20s, I would guess around 25-26 based on the age of the friends she came with. Anyway, we quickly hit it off, and after a day of hanging out in the city we ended up making out at a club at the end of the night. I ended up staying over at their airbnb that night, but I took an air mattress and we did not share a bed or have sex. She later told me that she wanted to, but didn't want to seem too easy.

    We've been texting fairly regularly since she went back home. At first it was just shooting the shit, but then she asked me if I remembered kissing at the club, and since then our conversations have taken on a flirtier vibe. During one such conversation I told her that I thought we should bang sometime, and she indicated to me that she'd like that. We have vague plans to hang out when I visit home later this year.

    I just got a new job here in the city, and the earliest I'd be able to visit home would probably be Thanksgiving. We still text each other, and when I remember I'll wish her well at night before I go to bed and she'll respond in kind. However, I've found myself sometimes of struggling for stuff to say. I work a pretty mundane job and am currently doing community service on the weekends, so there isn't a lot of exciting stuff going on in my life right now. I noticed also that it is often me who initiates conversations. Sometimes I'll text just to say how are you, or to share random funny thoughts that pop into my head.

    The bottom line is this: I don't want to have an endless stream of boring "how are you, oh I'm pretty much the same as yesterday thanks" type conversations. At the same time, I'd like to pick up where we left off when I go home so I'm not really sure what to do. I've never done anything resembling a long distance relationship. Will the attraction fade if I don't keep up contact? If so, what are some things that I can say/do to keep things going until I have a chance to see her in person?

    **tl;dr - met a girl, hit it off, but she lives in a different state. Been staying in touch and have vague plans visit (she lives in my hometown), but feeling like our communications are starting to get a little repetitive. How can I keep things going until I can see her in person again?**

    #2
    Are you looking for a serious relationship with this woman? From what you've told us, she may think of you strictly as a friend with benefits.
    If you have different expectations and aren't on the same page, you're almost guaranteed to sooner or later run into problems.

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      #3
      Please don't cross-post into other threads, pick the one that seems to fit the best and leave it at that. You will get answered
      Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

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        #4
        Ok, thank you. I'm sorry, I'm very new to this forum and must have missed that portion in the rules.

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          #5
          Thanks for your advice!

          Truth be told, I don't really know where this is going. I understand that no promises or commitments have been made, and I shouldn't expect anything at all when I go home to visit.

          That being said, my heart tells me that I want to see her again and see what happens, at the very least. My main worry right now is that the spark will disappear before I have a chance to do so. I am very inexperienced when it comes to "long distance flirting", so I'm having trouble coming up with something better than "how are you" or random silly jokes and stuff that pop into my head. Do you have any advice on what I can say/do to keep the attraction going so that we can pick thins up where we left when we meet again?

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            #6
            Other Post....
            https://members.lovingfromadistance....-another-state

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              #7
              Do the two of you strictly text? Or do you have video calls? Video calls are a good way to see if her attraction is as strong as yours. If she avoids the calls... well... but if she is just as fun and flirty, you'll know.
              Sparkling72

              "Strength in Us!"


              "exclusive" since May 13, 2016
              ** Shortened the distance!! December 2016 **
              closing the distance in ~ Oct. 2018

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                #8
                Originally posted by Sparkling72 View Post
                Do the two of you strictly text? Or do you have video calls? Video calls are a good way to see if her attraction is as strong as yours. If she avoids the calls... well... but if she is just as fun and flirty, you'll know.
                This is a duplicate post and he is using thread linked above

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