How do you resist the urge to pack up and go?

[R&R]

I'm in my lease through September or October. I'm house sitting/renting for a friend while her husband is in flight school with the National Guard and I wouldn't break my lease with them. My daughters will both be in college in the fall and are moving forward with their individual lives and have given me their "blessing" to move as soon as Rob and I are ready. (My oldest also says now she'll have one more place to visit and she loves to travel anywhere!)

For him, before we got back together, he already had plans to move from IN back to his home state of TX. Land is bought for his business and surveying is done. Due to so many contacts in TX, he'll be able to get his business up and running ASAP with contracts ready to go once he arrives. If he moved here, it would be too much to get started.

So, we are waiting for him to make the move from IN to TX before I move. I also want to have a job ready and waiting when I arrive and that's hard to do when you don't have an exact move date or even an address. Bills still need to be paid, so a job is a must. Trust me, if I could just pack up and go, I would because I am so ready to close the distance permanently!

[lovezthelelz]

I guess that's kind of what I did. I decided to buy a one-way ticket from the USA to the Philippines, never looked back. I was at a crossroads anyways; either take a promotion I really didn't want or find a new job; the house I lived in was being sold so I had to move anyways, I figured why not just move to the Philippines? Researched Visas, found out I can stay in PH up to 3 years on a tourist visa, just have to pay around $75 every two months. Sold all my stuff, saved up as much money as I could, and after 7 months of being in an LDR I quit my job, spent 18 hours on a plane and finally set foot in the Philippines I've been here a year now and I do not regret it. I am starting to run out of savings now though, but we are planning to get married in a few months, then I will apply for my residency visa and be able to start looking for a job here

I guess what made it extra risky was that before this, we had never met in person. But amazingly, it worked out perfectly for us and he's everything I knew he would be and we are so happy together :3

[snow]

Honestly? Being sent back.

[differentcountries]

I can stay in PH up to 3 years on a tourist visa, just have to pay around $75 every two months.

You are very lucky Turkey have started to be stricter on semi-immigration now, it used to be easy (I am told) to stay there for longer periods, now unless you are old (there are special rules) nobody can stay over 3 months in one stretch if they don't have study- or work-permits. Not that I would be able to support myself for long anyway, especially in the semi-expensive part of Turkey where he lives... He works but he doesn't earn enough to support me, in fact I partly support his living costs as it is. Hopefully that situation will change a bit once he is through with his part time studies, as he can apply for better paid jobs.

I sometimes fantasize about getting a job in Turkey and so be able to live there legally for a year or so, but I am not sure how I would go about to make it happen. I have debts and no savings so I would have had to work and save prior to that, and saving is hard with all the travels and me paying for our flat in Turkey too. Everything is up in the air about what happens to SO in a couple of years from now - there would be no point in me getting a job there if he is going to go the army anyway, and after that possably he would move to another part of the country. My dream is that I could do something that is relevant to my career that would enable me to switch between Norway and Turkey like I do now, staying in Turkey for longer stretches of time. Whatever that should be, I am sure it depends on me picking up more on the language. I imagine everything will be easier if you know the language.

[LovingAcrossTheAtlantic]

What stops me is that I legally can't :/ Age problems.

[abna1]

I have two more years until I graduate and I need this degree to get a job in Ghana. Unfortunately, sticking around is the reasonable thing to do.

[Alma]

Well. I just started my training as a kindergarten teacher..I have two more years until I get my degree (in germany) That sucks. Besides that I have my cat and my family here of course. But if I could, I would pack up everything and leave this country.

But I am trying to find out if it's possible to transfer to an american school or university..

[MyHindiHeart]

Don't worry Stormy. It's normal. I've definitely felt it many times. From my experience, there will never really be an ideal time. So you just have to go when you truly feel like it is time. The longer you wait for things to work themselves out, the better. It's always good to be financially stable.
I've put myself in both situations. I'd like to share my wisdom. As much as it hurts, in my experience, it's always better to wait until you are financially ready.

So how does one resist the urge? Frequently talking to your SO. The goal is to feel like he your SO is right there with you all the time. Setting up dates and incentives makes the pain fade a little.

[sugarkane92]

I need to graduate in order to find a job in Canada. I also need to learn french. I moved in with my SO for 4 months and I couldn't provide for myself, it's an awful feeling.. he could afford it and was perfectly fine with it, but that didn't make me feel any more comfortable. That's what keeps me from leaving Italy, but I still think about it every single day.

[butterfly712]

I know the feeling,trust me,it is very hard being miles away from my so,but I know that we have to take our relationship slow,and I'm willing to wait as long as it takes,because I love him so much.

[Christian]

I know the feeling, Sometimes i just want to give up studying and just move to her and see what happens let life take me where it wants to. But then reality kicks in and i remind myself once i finished studying it will all be over the book will be shut and sequel started.

[MaryAnn23]

Good question. How? in 2 years I tried for so many times to resist not to run away and to hug him. But I was scared. And i am still. When we will have to move together i believe i will be the most introvert person in the world

[neddrick98]

ditto to what many have said: yes. I felt this urge for 4.5 years while I did my degree in the UK, and I thought about quitting my degree MANY times. Thankfully neither of us needed visas to visit each other, and my student loan helped fund flights back and forth, so we got through breaks of anywhere between 6 weeks and 6 months at a time.
When you're looking forward the distance seems endless because you want it to end so badly, but once you're here your distance doesn't seem so bad. Granted sometimes I tell my story to somebody and they say 'woahhhh 4.5 years!!!!' and I realise 'actually, yes, that's a fair bit of time and not just anybody can hack it' but in the grand scheme of things it's nothing in comparison to the lifetime i'll have with him.

Be strong and stick on, and above all, surround yourself with happy friends. They have pulled me out of my moping moods, closed in my room, and dragged me on some of the best nights ever. My cats when I lived at home were also a great source of comfort - no matter how angry or frustrated I was, I just couldn't take it out on them.

You'll be fine - you're clearly not alone, look at how many responses you've had!!!

[differentcountries]

Sometimes I think about just selling my flat and go... Especially when now I am starting to learn Turkish, and my husband too says he wouldn't mind maybe living in T, too. I start to fantasize about coming here to live. But I have obligations towards work, money and myself. Also, SO has expressed interest in coming here, and so I must stay here to provide for him. I keep reminding myself that any plan I need to prepare a lot. That keeps me calm and cold.

[randomnerd]

My lease on my condo. It's up in April....I think I may not be able to fight the urge after that.