I'm scared to close the distance

[mllebamako]

I think it's 100% normal to feel scared when getting ready to close the distance. Not only are you moving to a new place (which is something you've only done for 6 months), but you are getting married, and going to live with someone you've never lived with before. I am always scared/nervous/excited when I move to a new place and I was even more so when I was closing the distance. There are so many unknowns and it's a lot to deal with.

Like everyone said, focus on the positives. You've got so many exciting changes coming up. But don't beat yourself up for being nervous either. To be honest, you probably will lose some friends. That's normal. The friendships that really matter will adjust to the new situation. Finding a new job, new friends, new church may take some time but you'll get there. Where in Utah does your SO live? I'm from Utah originally and, for the most part, people are really friendly. Even when I would move back there for summers during college, I found it pretty easy to make friends (compared to other places).

Try to focus on the positives and the things that you can control. And believe that the other things will work out over time.

[itsjen516]

Thank you and he lives in alpine but I think he wants to move to prove ? Since it's closer to his school . And ya people did seen really nice there I really liked everyone I met everyone at his church was really nice to and they are all very welcoming .
And we really only lived togther a month while we worked at Disney and it was really fun to live with him so I'm excited about that.

[Photonut]

Grab life by the balls!!! You got this, don't sweat it.

[mllebamako]

Thank you and he lives in alpine but I think he wants to move to prove ? Since it's closer to his school . And ya people did seen really nice there I really liked everyone I met everyone at his church was really nice to and they are all very welcoming .
And we really only lived togther a month while we worked at Disney and it was really fun to live with him so I'm excited about that.

He goes to BYU? I think I said this to you in another thread of yours, but my only concern for you is that you are a non-Mormon. Have you made sure that he doesn't expect you to convert? I don't know that many Mormons that are cool with marrying outside of the temple.

I know this is personal and not what you originally asked in this thread, so you don't have to respond to those questions. Just something to think about.

[Heavenly_Love12]

I think the advice you have been receiving is great! You're about to go through many different changes and it is normal to be a bit afraid but would you be happier if you chose to change your mind? If the answer is no, then embrace what is going to happen! It sounds like you will have a good community to meet people, you're planning on going to nursing school which will have you around other students, and you will have a church home there. To me, it sounds like an all around great situation to be going into! You won't be going in blind and you will have your SO there by your side. I joined the military and got stationed thousands of miles from home. I didn't know what it would be like here, I only knew 3 people, and I didn't have a church to call mine here yet. I was scared in a way but excited to embark on a new adventure! I believe that you will be fine, these jitters happen to many people and shows that you're not jumping into a decision without thinking about it and that you have a strong home base. I wish you the best of luck and I hope we'll get to see wedding pictures!

[itsjen516]

He goes to BYU? I think I said this to you in another thread of yours, but my only concern for you is that you are a non-Mormon. Have you made sure that he doesn't expect you to convert? I don't know that many Mormons that are cool with marrying outside of the temple.

I know this is personal and not what you originally asked in this thread, so you don't have to respond to those questions. Just something to think about.

No he dosnt go there and nope he said he would love it if I do convert but dosnt expect me to unless I truly want to and it's what my heart is telling me to do. He said he even understands if I don't wanna go to church with him on Sundays. Only thing he really wants is when we have kids for the to be raised Mormon and I'm more then ok with that.

Wait what's byu? Lol is that a school

Oh that is a school lol nope he goes to something else

[itsjen516]

He goes to BYU? I think I said this to you in another thread of yours, but my only concern for you is that you are a non-Mormon. Have you made sure that he doesn't expect you to convert? I don't know that many Mormons that are cool with marrying outside of the temple.

I know this is personal and not what you originally asked in this thread, so you don't have to respond to those questions. Just something to think about.

I think the advice you have been receiving is great! You're about to go through many different changes and it is normal to be a bit afraid but would you be happier if you chose to change your mind? If the answer is no, then embrace what is going to happen! It sounds like you will have a good community to meet people, you're planning on going to nursing school which will have you around other students, and you will have a church home there. To me, it sounds like an all around great situation to be going into! You won't be going in blind and you will have your SO there by your side. I joined the military and got stationed thousands of miles from home. I didn't know what it would be like here, I only knew 3 people, and I didn't have a church to call mine here yet. I was scared in a way but excited to embark on a new adventure! I believe that you will be fine, these jitters happen to many people and shows that you're not jumping into a decision without thinking about it and that you have a strong home base. I wish you the best of luck and I hope we'll get to see wedding pictures!

Ya I will make sure to post then and it's good to hear that it's normal to feel this way. I know my anxiety gets the best of me :-/

[Moon]

No he dosnt go there and nope he said he would love it if I do convert but dosnt expect me to unless I truly want to and it's what my heart is telling me to do. He said he even understands if I don't wanna go to church with him on Sundays. Only thing he really wants is when we have kids for the to be raised Mormon and I'm more then ok with that.

Wait what's byu? Lol is that a school

Oh that is a school lol nope he goes to something else

If you're marrying a Mormon and moving to Utah, I suggest you at least do some research to, among other things, find out what BYU is.

[itsjen516]

If you're marrying a Mormon and moving to Utah, I suggest you at least do some research to, among other things, find out what BYU is.

Like what ? ...

[lyonsgirl]

If you're marrying a Mormon and moving to Utah, I suggest you at least do some research to, among other things, find out what BYU is.

Like what ? ...

I think Moon meant that you should do some poking around online to find out what BYU is before you move there. It's been in the news multiple times over the last year or so. Alpine isn't too far away from Provo, so it's probably worth looking into.

[lucybelle]

Have you done any research about the area you're moving to? I mean before I came down here to CR I did tons of research. It seems like you're relying heavily on your SO when you need to start being independent now. Or that move to Utah is going to be rough.

[mllebamako]

Have you done any research about the area you're moving to? I mean before I came down here to CR I did tons of research. It seems like you're relying heavily on your SO when you need to start being independent now. Or that move to Utah is going to be rough.

I agree with this. And it has nothing to do with Utah...it's a good idea to research any place you're moving to! I've moved dozens of times, sometimes to new countries and sometimes to other states in the US, and each time I researched the heck (that's a Utah word, by the way ) out of the places before going! Check out websites like city-data to get a good idea about the city. Check out what schools are in the area. Search around websites like meetup.com to see what kind of groups you might be able to join. Look at job searching websites to see what kinds of jobs are available. And so on and so forth.

I think it's important to find out this information to try and imagine how you will fit in there. For example, a quick search on city-data and I know that 98% of people in Alpine are Mormon, 88% voted for Romney in the presidential election, 94% are white, they've had 0 murders from 2000-2008 (they didn't have data for the past few years). Those are just examples but I think it's good to have a picture in your head of what your life might be like there.

[lyonsgirl]

I second what LB and mlle both said.

[80anthea]

I agree with this. And it has nothing to do with Utah...it's a good idea to research any place you're moving to! I've moved dozens of times, sometimes to new countries and sometimes to other states in the US, and each time I researched the heck (that's a Utah word, by the way ) out of the places before going! Check out websites like city-data to get a good idea about the city. Check out what schools are in the area. Search around websites like meetup.com to see what kind of groups you might be able to join. Look at job searching websites to see what kinds of jobs are available. And so on and so forth.

I think it's important to find out this information to try and imagine how you will fit in there. For example, a quick search on city-data and I know that 98% of people in Alpine are Mormon, 88% voted for Romney in the presidential election, 94% are white, they've had 0 murders from 2000-2008 (they didn't have data for the past few years). Those are just examples but I think it's good to have a picture in your head of what your life might be like there.

Absolutely, I think this would help your anxiety too. Jumping into the unknown is scary, yes you know your SO but the more you can plan for YOU the better. Are there any groups or clubs you could join to make your own friends whilst there? I do honestly think the better prepared you are the better you feel.

[itsjen516]

I think Moon meant that you should do some poking around online to find out what BYU is before you move there. It's been in the news multiple times over the last year or so. Alpine isn't too far away from Provo, so it's probably worth looking into.

We don't 100% know if we will move there just one place he said maybe
And when I looked at byu it took me to a school help please ?