The Longevity of Your Relationship?

[Ms.Justine]

That is interesting, I do my best not to date people I don't think could be "hubby potential" is what me and my sister call it.

[Trethsparr]

Yes? :P But I went into this relationship saying hey, I am 28 years old (oh the twenties... I miss you), I need to see this going somewhere, and if it isn't right we need to not drag it out.

That's how my SO (28) and I (25) saw it as well.

[HollzHeartsChris]

I'm not really sure if I'm 'qualified' to answer this question, but I'm going to put forward my post regardless.

I've been in a few LDRs and all but one were short and were complete mistakes that only led to me getting hurt. My 3rd, however, possibly had the most impact on my life and still continues to have an impact today. Cutting a long story short, it ended on mutual terms and we resumed to being just best friends for a couple of months. We had too strong a connection to one another to simply let go, and although it took awhile, we eventually got over the initial depression and unease that followed our break up. Nowadays however, things are a lot easier and less awkward for us both, and it's safe to say it's like things never happened. Whilst we aren't in an LDR, I know he is still the one I love and who has truly held my heart for a long while now, and he feels the same way about me. We talked in the past before what happened about one day getting married, having children, living together. He told me not to give up and to continue to have faith a few weeks ago, when we actually fell for each other all over again, and I agree with him and what he's said before: that future is not lost, and whilst it'll be a difficult road ahead and it'll be riddled with obstacles, we want to make it real. As long as we have each other, then that's all that matters.

Being only 17 and 19 almost, we are still pretty young But there are plenty of things we both have to contend with first, like finishing college and highschool (for him). I suppose the future could change the course of things, but I guess I'll just have to wait and see. I understand some people won't get why I've held fast.

It's hard to let go of someone you love with all your heart, but just lost your way a bit.

[OceanBlue]

I see myself marrying my SO. I'm actually sure he is gonna be the one I'm gonna marry. He told me this too. When I look into my future I see him. Even though We haven't been together for so long, we just know we were made to be with each other. I'm only 19 now and he's 21.

[Dziubka]

When I first met my boyfriend, I didn't even think we'd ever have a serious relationship. We started out as a friends with benefits thing and I didn't really think it would lead anywhere. Even when we did agree that we were going to have a try at the LDR thing when I went back home (I was an exchange student in his city), I didn't have any big hopes that we'd stay together. I'm not much of a dreamer and I know for myself that I couldn't do a relationship where I'd see my boyfriend less than once a month. I obviously by then was hoping that we'd make it work, but I honestly didn't fully believe in it.

I'm too much of a realist to start out a relationship from the premise that this is the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. At the beginning of a relationship you (or I anyway) don't really know the other person well enough to say that. I start a relationship because I like the guy and I want to be with him 'for now' I believe that only time can tell what's going to come out of the relationship.

However, now after more than two years together... he's moving to my country this year, we've picked out a church for our wedding and names for our children. There's nothing in this world I'm more convinced and sure of than that I want to settle down with him and start a family. He's the one person I'm by far most compatible with. He's my best friend, my lover and so much more.

[SDPersona]

Oh, I forgot to ask and meant to. Have any of you guys who see yourself marrying your SO had important conversations about things like having children, holidays, work schedules, blah blah blah yet? My boyfriend and I talk about marriage, but we also discuss these things because they can make or break a marriage so we'd like to get everything out in the open before hand.

About some topics we have talked and we still talk about those. Others we are not quite ready to talk about yet, since we (mostly me, though) feel it's too soon for us. One of those topics would be marriage. I feel that while I know I love him with all my heart it doesn't mean I know enough about him and about how we as a couple mesh to think seriously about marrying him. I want to spend more time with him, find out about things I don't get to see while LD. So, for now, I'm quite happy where we're at now - just enjoying each other and having a stable relationship.

[ChibiFelicia]

Oh, I forgot to ask and meant to. Have any of you guys who see yourself marrying your SO had important conversations about things like having children, holidays, work schedules, blah blah blah yet? My boyfriend and I talk about marriage, but we also discuss these things because they can make or break a marriage so we'd like to get everything out in the open before hand.

yup we literally can and will talk about everything

[Haley53]

Oh, I forgot to ask and meant to. Have any of you guys who see yourself marrying your SO had important conversations about things like having children, holidays, work schedules, blah blah blah yet? My boyfriend and I talk about marriage, but we also discuss these things because they can make or break a marriage so we'd like to get everything out in the open before hand.

Pretty much, yes. Even around the time we made it official, I brought up "the talk," i.e. what happens if we get to the point of wanting to move in together? Who would move? Which one of us would feel more fine with leaving our country behind? etc. I'm generally pretty open and communicative and I'm very much someone who likes to get things out in the open and admittedly someone who can talk something to death. :P He's also pretty open and though it's usually me initiating the conversations, he's always open to talking and sharing his opinions/views on things. He'll also point things out if they're prompted. We pretty much talk about everything.

[Alemap]

Oh, I forgot to ask and meant to. Have any of you guys who see yourself marrying your SO had important conversations about things like having children, holidays, work schedules, blah blah blah yet? My boyfriend and I talk about marriage, but we also discuss these things because they can make or break a marriage so we'd like to get everything out in the open before hand.

There'll be plenty of time to discuss these things after we've been CD for a while.
No point in putting the cart before the horse.

[blankita719]

Yes? :P But I went into this relationship saying hey, I am 28 years old (oh the twenties... I miss you), I need to see this going somewhere, and if it isn't right we need to not drag it out.

Very similar thought process, except I was already in my 30's

I was 31 (a month away from 32) when my SO & I got back together. I'm 33 now. I no longer really have the time or inclination to be in a relationship if it isn't long term. I did casually see some one after my ex & I split up and before SO and I made it official, but he was local and I always knew he had an expiration date. And marrying him is one of the things I want most in this world.

As far as big discussions about kids, holidays, etc - yes, we do have them. We are both already parents and we have different parenting styles but we know if we were ever to have our own child, we would work together on it. We have very similar values in life, and the things we differ on aren't deal breakers.

[Karringtyn]

Ah how much views change as one ages. I have dated plenty of people I had NO interest in marrying. It was not at a point in my life that I wanted to be married...or was not thinking that way. As someone that was married for 14 years...I do believe in marriage and I will marry my love..hopefully this year.

[ushiwakafox]

I just turned 20 a few months ago. Yes I do see myself marrying my SO, and he's told me countless times he feels the same. I've struggled a lot in the past about marriage obsession, so I usually avoid the topic. In fact, I have to stay away from the jewelry counters altogether. I have a problem lol. But I'm doing very well and haven't had a marriage spat in months.
I think in a lot of cases, interest in marriage depends on age and maturity. I think it also depends on big influences in your life. By my age, my parents were already married for about 2 years. So as I entered college, I had a fit of wanting to get engaged and all that hooey. Drove my SO absolutely crazy XD. It was really a huge pit in my life, and my SO, all kidding aside, was really worn down by my constant nagging about it. We've been dating for 4 years so I also felt it was "time" just because we've been dating for so long. But I realized that he's not going anywhere, and that in order to be able to enjoy our marriage to the fullest, our finances have to be in order. I have a completely new mindset now so it's all in the past now. Thank God.
I don't see the point in being with someone long term if I can't see myself marrying him. I hate wasting time and energy on something that has no purpose. I won't let it last for more than a few weeks if I'm not totally head over heels with him.
But anyway, I think it's just dependent on a lot of different influences of one's life. I've never been one to just date. I've always sought after a commitment. I never dated to just have fun; I was also looking for someone I could see spending the rest of my life with. And now I have that someone ^^. And I don't mind waiting a few more years to marry him.

[13000km]

Oh, I forgot to ask and meant to. Have any of you guys who see yourself marrying your SO had important conversations about things like having children, holidays, work schedules, blah blah blah yet? My boyfriend and I talk about marriage, but we also discuss these things because they can make or break a marriage so we'd like to get everything out in the open before hand.

We have, especially since we've seen how hard his sister and her husband has it when it comes to holidays. I think these things were only brought up once we became CD though, and had to adjust the way we lived around each other.

[kteire]

I am 24, and I can definitely see myself marrying my SO. He and I haven't talked about it in specific terms yet, as it's the first serious relationship either of us has had, so we decided to hold off for now. We've both had too many friends and family talk about marriage and babies too early into a relationship, only to have them crumble and seem like a loss of so much more than a relationship.

But we've talked about how we both see ourselves being together for the rest of our lives, and we're moving in together in a few months once my SO finds a job here. And we've talked about long-term things like combining finances, and the possibility of having to take out a joint loan for my tuition in a year or two.

[xbriellex]

I'm still young at the age of 20. But my SO (he's 24) and I have been very serious with our relationship. We actually have plans on what we wanna do in the future once we closed the distance. We're both not afraid to talk about marriage and we do believe that we'll end up getting married together. I think in our relationship, this is helps us to continue being patient until we get together because once we've closed the distance, it will all be worth it.