The Longevity of Your Relationship?

[marbear31]

From the age of about 13 I used to pray that the first guy I fell in love with would be the one I'd spend the rest of my days with. I've never been the sort of person who wanted to date many people before settling down; I swore I'd either wait for the one who simply felt right for me, or not get involved at all. Five years passed before I met the man who makes my life worth living. I won't say whether I think we'll get married or not, because I do realise that nothing in life is for certain. That's definitely how I (and he, I daresay!) would like our personal fairy tale to end though... happily ever after

I couldn't have put it better myself!!!!! I've been "in love" with people before, seriously a couple of times, but it's never been "reciprocated" in an open way until my SO. Even then, I went with my heart at the beginning, and I'm realizing that only with time does love truly deepen into that fairy tale you've always wanted. Time has proved to me how much I want to be with this man for the rest of my life.

In terms of longevity, Stephen and I have been going out for just a little over 5 months. Is that enough to know I want to spend the rest of my life with him? Rationally, no. I'm very much an intuition type of girl, though, and my intuition has been telling me from day 1 that this guy is something special, and this relationship, if anything, has been a series of small realizations about how much I really can't live my life without him, even if he's not the cardboard cutout guy I'd always pictured charging up on a white steed. He's better, much, much better than that. I have a man beyond my greatest dreams.

Before I get any more crazy gushy, I think of time in our relationship as 1) relative and 2) a proving method. We're already trumping time because of our age difference (10 years), so I feel like we've got an edge already. :P And to me, what is time when two souls match perfectly? (Yes, yes, you have to take it into consideration, but it sounded whimsically passionate. :P) Also, I like to look at the length as a day by day adventure, to get to know the person I know, in that deepest part of myself, that I want to grow old with better as each day passes. People change constantly, so there's no question of complacency.

So, to answer your original question (:P), yes I do see myself marrying this man. We have talked about our future very extensively, and very realistically, but we also take the time to just enjoy every day together that we have and make the most of the distance as an opportunity to get to know each other better. As lademoiselle said above, I've never been the type to date around searching for the perfect guy; I just waited till I felt the right one came along, and took my mom's advice and concentrated on me for the in between time. The fact that Stephen helps me be the best me is a crucial complement to our cohesion.

It's so very nice to be home.

[Engel]

I never wanted to get married, so yeah, I dated many guys I saw/wanted no future with.


My SO and I, as most of you know, will get married the end of this month, but even before that was decided, since the begin I had this gut feeling we would be together, for good, that this relationship would be different, would make me different.

And now we got married, so yes, the only time I ever saw myself having the possibility o marry someone, I indeed did marry him! and I also see myself having kids with him, and Im positively sure we will have them in a couple of years! and Im happy, what is most important in all that, Im happy with him!

[books]

I'm 33 and I do see myself marrying my SO. I was in 2 serious relationships before this one (one lasting 3 years and the other lasting 7 years) and I never gave this much thought to the future. We talked about marriage very early on (about 3 months into our relationship) and it never really felt rushed. Which is weird. There is an 11 year age difference between my SO and I but he assures me all the time that he's ready to get married and start a family. I believe him b/c in his culture, it's really common to settle down early on. Meanwhile, I grew up in NYC and can safely say in all my years living here, I have never felt pressure to be married. It's just not part of the culture...
https://gothamist.com/2011/12/15/bas..._get_marri.php

I think it's silly and very unrealistic to select an age where you will be married (why? beacuse you have NO idea what will happen in your life). I guess I always knew if I was to get married, it would come later on. And now here I am having met my SO, so it all just seems right.

[sweetshay]

Im 19, turning 20 soonish, SO is 23 turning 24 soonish (lol), me and my SO have been together a little over 3 years. I could see us getting married but if we never actually got married I wouldn't mind, at least as of now I wouldn't mind because I don't think it's really necessary to do so. He might want to get married before we have kids due to religion, and i'm ok with that.

[usmcgirl]

My response may or may not cause some discussion - just a warning.

I'm probably the youngest person on this site, as I'm only 15. My SO is 19.
Do you see yourself marrying your SO?
Absolutely. There is nothing I want more than to marry him. BUT. I know it's going to be a very long time before that happens. To be honest, if we stay together to get married, I can see myself being engaged for another decade or so before I walk the aisle.
Is it too early to tell?
Probably. Does that stop me from hoping, dreaming and praying? No. There is no other person who can understand me, calm me down, knock me off my high horse, or pull me out of my depression faster than this man. And that is exactly what I need. I need someone who tells me when I'm being stupid. Who tells me when I'm being a bitch. Who knows exactly what to say at exactly the right time. I'm a lot more mature than my peers, just from my childhood. I didn't have much of one and was pretty much forced to grow up fast.
Are you too young to make that decision?
Without a doubt.
Have any of you guys who see yourself marrying your SO had important conversations about things like having children, holidays, work schedules yet?
Yes. He's planning on being a Marine so on the rare occasion we do talk about the future, we talk about everything. We both want kids. We can't really count on him being home for holidays. And obviously, we can't predict his work schedule, ergo we can't really focus on that.
________________

Honestly, I fully expect to get a lot of.. not hate really, but criticsim for my relationship, not only IRL but on here as well, mainly this post. Yes, I understand that I'm young and probably not ready for this. But honestly, what am I missing out on? A guy (only focused on getting laid afterwards) groping my ass at a dance that I spent way too much money getting ready for? No thank you. Yes, I'll be attending prom and homecoming but it'll be with friends or stag. This relationship has/is teaching me a lot. It's taught me that life isn't always easy. It's taught me that no matter what, love really does conquer all. It's taught me that if you want something, you'd better be prepared to fight for it. That people are going to judge you no matter what the circumstances. You have to be prepared to ignore the hatred, and focus on the fact that it is worth it, and you do love him.
I get criticized not only for being 15 & in a LDR but also for dating a Marine. An innocent comment on youtube earned me a "BABYKILLER" reply. I was shocked, hurt, and absolutely livid. But I know it's all worth it.

I love him. And yes, I do plan on marrying him. If that means waiting a decade or so to do it, then so be it. But I'm fully prepared to do this because I'm in it for the long run.

Sorry if this was long-winded, or got off subject.

[Tooki]

Do you see yourself marrying your SO? Definitely. We clicked when we first met. We are very serious about our relationship and she is someone who I could be with for the long run.

Is it too early to tell? We kept our friendship very platonic at the start, but we both knew we started getting feelings. It has been about 1 year since we had feelings and about 6 months since we started dating. It probably is too early but we aren't thinking about marriage until years down the line.

Are you too young to make that decision? I don't think I am. I am 21 and my mother got married young as well. My girl is 17 though, but she has family who got married young as well. As above, we won't be rushing off to be married anytime soon.

[11MikesGirl21]

I was raised with the "you date to find your husband" mindset. I personally think that's how it should be. I've only dated my current boyfriend. He's my first everything except kiss. We both knew early on what we wanted from a relationship and from life. (He had tried a few times; I had never been in a relationship with anyone) We both wanted marriage and a family. And then we fell fast and hard for each other. He talked to my father about marrying me within a month of us dating. My father's basic answer was "If you want to put up with her for the rest of your life go ahead." My grandparents said to both us when they met him for the first time that we'd make a good couple ("good couple" for my grandparents translates to "get married") and my grandfather commented on how my SO looked at me--with "marriage eyes". My boyfriend also picked up a magazine with an article about signs that you're with the person you should marry--which my grandmother later admitted to planting on the couch to see if my boyfriend would pick it up.

My boyfriend and I are young, we're both only twenty and I have 3-4 more years of school left. So marriage is a long way off for us. But we are sure without a shadow of a doubt that we want to get married some day. We knew this way before my family even brought it up. When you know, you just know, age isn't a factor but maturity is.

[nomnom_elf]

Do you see yourself marrying your SO?>> no. purely becoz of him. he has said to me on repeated occasions that if EVER i want marriage or kids i'm better off finding another man. he won't budge. so no its "not to early to tell"!!

Are you too young to make that decision?>> i'm 24 this year, he turns 39 this year. i think that is the crux of the issue, and while all the "domestic dream" isnt exaclty calling to me yet, i do believe it'll rear its head as a problem the longer i stay with my SO. so in someways i can already forsee a possible end to this relationship.

If you don't believe in marriage, do you see yourself as being with your partner for a serious long term relationship? i don't "BELIEVE" as in that way. i would get married purely to afirm to the world we are united plus to settle the financial aspects. here in the UK though co-habitate couples are recognized they still have no security like married people do. my wedding would simply include dress, cake groom and hholiday. no fussing over table decs!!

[fitfilipina]

I'm 20. Yes, I know I'm young, but I honestly do see myself marrying my SO. I knew something was different with this relationship even before we started getting serious. "If you know, you know" could be the reason here. So when I'm having a rough day, I just remind myself that my intuition really has never failed me...

Plus, I was never really the serious/long term relationship type in high school or college, and I've changed my perspective on dating after going through guy after guy. Now I don't think I could ever date someone I couldn't see myself settling down with. Makes for much more fulfilling relationships, I think.

Am I too young to make that decision? Maybe, but I'll stand with my conviction. I've always seen myself settling down at a younger age, anyway (not now though, a while from now!)

[loveknowsnodistance27]

Do you see yourself marrying your SO?
I'm probably going to receive a lot of criticism because my SO and I will only be turning 20 this year. I absolutely see myself marrying Anthony. Our situation is extremely unique; we'd been best friends for 11 years prior to dating. I've actually known my whole life that Anthony was the right guy for me. I do believe in fate and no matter how many other crushes I had throughout my life, I always came back to wanting to be with him. Our relationship is extremely strong and we have a very strong bond. So many people in our lives, including friends as well as my own family, have told us that they can totally see us getting married. I wrote in my diary at age 9 "I love Anthony and will marry him." I really do believe this will come true in a few years once we finish college.

Is it too early to tell?
We'll be together a year and a half next Friday. I don't think it is too early to tell, especially since we've been friends for so long. I know it's too early for us to get married or even engaged right now (as much as I'd love to be engaged to Anthony), but knowing that we mutually have discussed the future and agree that we want to get married to one another after the distance is closed and we are both out of college makes things feel a lot more real and makes me feel better.

Are you too young to make that decision?
I do think numerically I am too young to make this decision right now, as many would doubt us and wouldn't take it seriously. But, I do feel emotionally and mentally mature enough to handle marriage. My SO and I are rather mature for our age. In fact, I am oftentimes told that I am wise beyond my years and am extremely contentious of everything I do. I know realistically, marriage isn't a feasible option right now. We both are full time students and are not working a lot right now, so our finances are very tight. I am saving up to move to Anthony in a year and a half after I graduate my current college. I'm going to get my associate's degree in May of 2013 and then will get my certificate up at his school, so obviously I cannot afford a wedding nor would I want to be married and living apart from my SO.

[smith8482]

I am 27 and divorced. When I met my SO on the dating site I was looking for some new friends to keep my company in the new city I was relocating too. Mr. H on the other hand was looking for stabilty and a relationship. We connected by laughing at all the weirdos which was online. We compared horror stories and eventually decided to chat on the phone. I dont know when it happen but I started to become real close to him and we become really good friends. Things progress to a more intimate level and then we decided to meet a few weeks later....It was the best 3days in a loooong time. He paid for half my trip and I didnt have to come out of pocket for anything.

2weeks later we made it offical My relocating plans had to be put on hold til my son gets out of school in June. I know it is not long compared to some other LDR but it is long enough for me....

[MeganK]

Im so very serious about my SO we plan on marrying after i turn 21. UK laws say both parties have to be 21. i only have a year to wait! im soo looking forward to being his wife! <3