Hey y'all,
I need advice on what to do in this situation. This week, I found out Jare is planning to visit me on Monday and Tuesday of this upcoming week. So, in like 3 days.
Right now he is a few time zones earlier than me, so by the time he calls, I am generally too tired to talk and somewhat cranky after a long day of school in the morning and being on my feet all afternoon at work. By the time he calls me (and he never contacts me other than via phone call anymore - i.e no texts) it is usually midnight, and I get up at 6:45 every morning.
So last night, I was asking him kindly that if one night a week (1 night out of 7) he could call me a little bit earlier, even if it was just at 11 my time vs. 12 my time, or even just 30 minutes earlier. Or if one day a week we could just write an e-mail (but he ever responds to those, so I'm not sure why I keep writing. UGH). It is too hard on me to stay up late every single night for him. Ideally I'd love to, but it's simply too tiring and contrary to my schedule. He proceeded to go on a tirade of ranting at me "Do you expect me to stay in my hotel room while everyone else goes out and does something together just to talk to YOU? That's crazy. I won't do that...etc. etc. etc." I wasn't able to get a word in edgewise. He was talking in an angry tone of voice, and was being very rude and condescending. He was also putting words in my mouth. Finally he finished ranting, and I was silent for a moment. Honestly, this caught me off guard. When I tried to respond, he began to talk over me. I said, "Be quiet! All I wanted to say is that I don't care if you go out with your co-workers/friends. It's fine. It was just a suggestion on compromising to help me communicate more effectively with you. I tend to not be able to communicate well when I am half asleep, have been at school for 5 hours and work for 7 hours." But before I could finish, he hung up the phone on me. I tried to call back, but it went to voicemail. And has continued to do so ever since. I believe he has either turned off his phone or blocked my number.
This is really frustrating because I do not think I will hear from him again any time soon. Things had been going great for us - he got me a ring, I'd been doing better with the distance and little communication, and we had an awesome Skype date together 2 nights ago.
He calls so late because he goes out to dinner every single night with the people he works with. I really am not a fan of his new job or the person it is turning him into. He has become more arrogant, more condescending, louder, and more argumentative. He seems boastful and inconsiderate most of the time as well.
Now I have no idea if he is coming to visit, and I intended to use my day off getting my apt. cleaned up and getting ready for his visit. I'm tempted to block is number and ignore him - I'm tired of being walked all over and dealing with his new found self-centered attitude. In my opinion ignoring someone is the most ineffective way to handle conflict, and it's really ineffective in an LDR, too. I feel very disrespected, and this has impacted my opinion of him in a huge way. I have to figure out if I truly want to spend my life with someone who handles conflict like this and feels it is a great way to handle conflict (he has done this in the past when he is angry with me. ignoring me is his way to "prove a point" to me).
What do you guys think of this conversation and his actions? For this first time, I don't feel like this is really my fault. I've told him a million times he can do whatever he wants and go to all these (stupid) dinners (I didn't tell him I think they are stupid though). I'm supportive of this job, I'm supportive of him even though we only talk once a day for 30 minutes. I'm supportive of the fact that we never visit each other anymore. I just don't know what else to do or how to handle this situation, and I really need some advice. Let me know what you all think!?!
I need advice on what to do in this situation. This week, I found out Jare is planning to visit me on Monday and Tuesday of this upcoming week. So, in like 3 days.
Right now he is a few time zones earlier than me, so by the time he calls, I am generally too tired to talk and somewhat cranky after a long day of school in the morning and being on my feet all afternoon at work. By the time he calls me (and he never contacts me other than via phone call anymore - i.e no texts) it is usually midnight, and I get up at 6:45 every morning.
So last night, I was asking him kindly that if one night a week (1 night out of 7) he could call me a little bit earlier, even if it was just at 11 my time vs. 12 my time, or even just 30 minutes earlier. Or if one day a week we could just write an e-mail (but he ever responds to those, so I'm not sure why I keep writing. UGH). It is too hard on me to stay up late every single night for him. Ideally I'd love to, but it's simply too tiring and contrary to my schedule. He proceeded to go on a tirade of ranting at me "Do you expect me to stay in my hotel room while everyone else goes out and does something together just to talk to YOU? That's crazy. I won't do that...etc. etc. etc." I wasn't able to get a word in edgewise. He was talking in an angry tone of voice, and was being very rude and condescending. He was also putting words in my mouth. Finally he finished ranting, and I was silent for a moment. Honestly, this caught me off guard. When I tried to respond, he began to talk over me. I said, "Be quiet! All I wanted to say is that I don't care if you go out with your co-workers/friends. It's fine. It was just a suggestion on compromising to help me communicate more effectively with you. I tend to not be able to communicate well when I am half asleep, have been at school for 5 hours and work for 7 hours." But before I could finish, he hung up the phone on me. I tried to call back, but it went to voicemail. And has continued to do so ever since. I believe he has either turned off his phone or blocked my number.
This is really frustrating because I do not think I will hear from him again any time soon. Things had been going great for us - he got me a ring, I'd been doing better with the distance and little communication, and we had an awesome Skype date together 2 nights ago.
He calls so late because he goes out to dinner every single night with the people he works with. I really am not a fan of his new job or the person it is turning him into. He has become more arrogant, more condescending, louder, and more argumentative. He seems boastful and inconsiderate most of the time as well.
Now I have no idea if he is coming to visit, and I intended to use my day off getting my apt. cleaned up and getting ready for his visit. I'm tempted to block is number and ignore him - I'm tired of being walked all over and dealing with his new found self-centered attitude. In my opinion ignoring someone is the most ineffective way to handle conflict, and it's really ineffective in an LDR, too. I feel very disrespected, and this has impacted my opinion of him in a huge way. I have to figure out if I truly want to spend my life with someone who handles conflict like this and feels it is a great way to handle conflict (he has done this in the past when he is angry with me. ignoring me is his way to "prove a point" to me).
What do you guys think of this conversation and his actions? For this first time, I don't feel like this is really my fault. I've told him a million times he can do whatever he wants and go to all these (stupid) dinners (I didn't tell him I think they are stupid though). I'm supportive of this job, I'm supportive of him even though we only talk once a day for 30 minutes. I'm supportive of the fact that we never visit each other anymore. I just don't know what else to do or how to handle this situation, and I really need some advice. Let me know what you all think!?!
As much as he can frustrate me I love him. I really don't want it to be done. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I swear if this relationship doesn't work out, I quit and will grow old alone with a thousand cats (well, actually I can't because I'm severely allergic to cats). 
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