Closed the distance, work issues arrise (no, not job hunting)

[Haley53]

No, I'm really not. You're taking words on the INTERNET way to close to heart. I'm sorry if that hurts your feelings, but seriously, it's just a conversation. Lol. That's not snapping, it's called a response.

I think the miscommunication here is your tone comes off a bit gruffer than what we're used to. You mentioned being from a bigger forum, and I think that adopting that sort of voice is necessary in a way. Being a smaller forum, I think we have the tendency to try and state things a little bit more diplomatically to ensure that nothing can be misinterpreted, as opposed to always being flat blunt about everything. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I'm guessing that's why there's a misinterpretation over the wording.

That being said, I don't have much more advice to offer than what's been given. To me it seems like the main thing is that you're expecting your girlfriend to treat you in the exact same way you would her. You'd sacrifice a job opportunity for her, do this for her, do that for her, so why won't she do the same? I think what's important to understand is that different people have different morals and different people have different levels to which they would go for their partner. You mentioned how you wouldn't do what someone else's SO does, but you can guarantee you'd do something he wouldn't. Would it not be the same with your girlfriend? You're going to find overlap in some places, and not in others, but the key point is to look at the situation realistically, be able to back something up with a valid and clear argument if you're going to argue it (a lot more people need more reason than "I'm uncomfortable" with it than people like you, who'd drop anything who made her uncomfortable), and to think about it in terms of what she needs and what she's wanting to do. As someone else mentioned, realistically, she would potentially (and likely) be giving up a job opportunity for this. Even if you would do it for her, she may not feel the same. Even if she's working at a job (full-time) already, this may be more where she wants to end up. Even if you can support her, she likely still wants her own independence, to make her own money, etc. Not all of your values are going to overlap, and I think people are trying to make that point that as opposed to thinking she should do something because you would, it's important to realise that you need to respect your partner's decisions even where you may not agree with them. This is not something that will directly effect you for any "rational" reason, so to speak, as in you're not scared she'll cheat, turn to sin, etc. It's simply that Vegas and her going away makes you uncomfortable for reasons you can't pinpoint. In my opinion, it's not fair to control or hinder your partner based on an insecurity and a problem within you.

[Sora1101]

I've read this for awhile now and you keep saying that you'd do anything for her, you'd do this and that so why not just let her go on this business trip? If you'd sacrifice a job, money etc then why can't you just suck it up and let her do what she wants to do? I'm sure she'll thank you for it and then you could move on.

[CynicalQuixotic]

You're telling us to "calm down" and that this is "just the internet" as if that somehow makes what you're saying any less troubling, but it isn't. You can't be this mercenary about someone that you're in a relationship with--you moved to be with her because you love her and you wanted to be with her, right? You can't hold it over her head and expect that she go out of her way to somehow make you feel recompensed. It isn't fair and it's incredibly narcissistic.

To echo what others have said, your girlfriend has a well-paying job in a terrible economy. Do you know how many people would kill for that? Saying "money is shit" because you grew up poor is incredibly short-sighted. Working with people of the opposite sex is a fact of life. She needs to go to these team-building events and conferences to do her job well--do you just not care about that? You say that you would sacrifice everything for her, but from what you've said I have a hard time believing you. I think you expect her to sacrifice everything for you and say the opposite to ensure that she continues to do so.

Also, your conception of Las Vegas is utterly ridiculous. Yes, prostitution and gambling are legal, and there is alcohol, but all of these activities involve people who choose to participate in them. Your utter lack of trust in your girlfriend makes me sad and angry.

[Kristin91]

I think you need to deal with the fact that she needs to do this for her job! She obviously knows you love her, I mean you drove 2000 miles for her! Also, you cannot control whether she will be around the presence of alcohol and sex... at some point you just need to trust her and know that she'll make the right decisions. If you love her as much as you claim to, you will chill out and let her do her thing. She won't be gone forever, and when she comes back you can have a nice "welcome home" evening