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    #16
    Originally posted by Brieasaurus View Post
    I actually lied to my SO about who I was when I first met him. I was using someone else's pictures and told him I was older than I really was. To be honest, I still don't know why I did it but it has definitely impacted our relationship even though I ended up telling him the truth a few days after we first met. His reaction made me feel horrible. Lying is never a good thing to do when you're with someone else, not even if it's for their own good. There's honestly nothing good that ever comes from lying to someone, the only thing that comes out from it is hurt and a loss of trust.
    My S/o actually did this. It wasn't pretty, and I lost a lot of trust in him for doing that. He wasn't lying about how he felt. He said the same thing he didn't know why he did it.

    Lying is definitely something you should come clean about. I cut off a lot of friends for lying about petty things.
    https://wearenottrayvonmartin.tumblr.com/
    Makes my heart feel better a tiny bit.

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      #17
      Currently I'm single, but with the SO I joined this site with I was pretty honest with. In the past, I would tell little lies about small things, but I've learned that it's just generally better to be honest. So now, I tend to just be honest about what I'm thinking/feeling if I'm asked, otherwise I tend to stay quiet. I have trust issues, and I don't want to lie and cause trust issues for anyone else, so I guess that's why I feel honesty is so important. I don't want to be lied to so I feel like I should return the favor.

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        #18
        Lies by omission yes. Direct lies, no.

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          #19
          Originally posted by garnet View Post
          Lies by omission yes. Direct lies, no.
          Ditto.
          Si tu n'etais pas la
          Comment pourrais-je vivre
          Je ne connaitrais pas
          Ce bonheur qui m'enivre
          Quand je suis dans tes bras
          Mon coeur joyeux se livre
          Comment pourrais-je vivre
          Si tu n'etais pas la

          Love that will not betray you, dismay or enslave you. It will set you free.
          Home could be anywhere when I am holding you

          "DONT RUIN MY DREAM OF MINITURE HIPPOS"

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            #20
            I lied to him about um about going out with guy friends ... because even though they're taken he's a jelous person ... he says trust will grow after we meet -________-

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              #21
              No.. I'm pretty truthful and so is he. I'm really bad at hiding things and he can tell when something is up and vice versa.

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                #22
                Originally posted by snow_girl
                Sometimes I think I am a compulsive liar, not about things that matter just little white lies and not just to him to everyone. I think I am pretty good at it, and I don't feel guilty. I don't know why I do it...
                this exactly, I always tell little white lies that really don't matter, I dunno why I do it really but I just can't stop @.@

                Notes:
                Met: 8.17.09
                Started Dating: 8.20.09
                First Met: 10.2.10
                Closed the Distance: 8.9.14

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                  #23
                  My SO has "lied" once by omission and it nearly destroyed me given what it was about. Since then, there's been nothing.

                  I personally am one of those "too honest" people. :P
                  { Our Story on LFAD }


                  Our Beginning
                  Met online: February 2009
                  Feelings confessed: December 2010
                  Unofficially together since: January/February 2011
                  Officially together since: 08 April 2011

                  Our Story
                  First meeting in person: 16 August - 14 September 2011
                  Second visit: 17 March - 01 April 2012
                  Third visit: 23 July - 13 September 2012
                  Fourth visit: Looking at 23 March - 6 April 2013

                  Our Happily Ever After
                  to be continued...

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                    #24
                    Um... I think the worst thing I may have done concerning not being totally open with you SO is one time when I yanked his chain too much and he believed me. I was having a laugh with a friend about a "date" with someone else and I told my SO about it, but didn't tell him it was a joke. He freaked out a bit. Quite understandably. I felt/feel bad about it, but it hasn't really impacted our relationship.
                    I try to be open and honest with my SO. Or at least tell him that I'm not being open and honest - like with things I'm not ready to talk about. For a little while he had issues with the whole 'open and honest' thing tho. But it's all good now...


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                      #25
                      I don't recall ever lying to my SO...




                      Joined in 2012. Restarted in 2017!

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                        #26
                        Lying is such a hard subject. Ditto what Eclaire said, about being the "too honest" person. :P I'm very blunt with those I love, though I've tried to morph the way I say things into a more tactful verbal construction. :P I haven't "lied" to my SO, but I've not stood up for certain things that make me uncomfortable at points, or that I'm not quite sure how to express. We actually had a situation come up last night on our skype date, but EVERY single time I've not said exactly what I meant (at first), and then spilled it out later (I'm just the wear your heart on your sleeve type of girl), he's always said, "Now why didn't you say that the first time?" Last night, when I just flat out said, "No" to what we were discussing, he was completely respectful of my boundaries, and we worked through it, and moved on. He's always saying his favorite thing about me is my openness--and I can fully say I am 100% honest with him. He's the first person I've felt I don't have to hold anything back from, and he accepts me, just as I am. It's so, so nice to know my soul is at home with someone. When I hold something back (at first), simply because I'm afraid of hurting him, I know I haven't truly expressed myself, and thus not given all of myself to him. So, I speak my heart, and we're all the closer because of it.

                        In terms of my SO, yes, he has "lied" about certain things to me, but never anything of significance. He's a very private person, but he's never given me a reason not to trust him. For example, when we were first dating, he told me his number was lower than it really was, because he didn't quite know how I would react to it, considering I want to wait until marriage. Eventually, we were lying there one night, and we had a very deep, soul-searching conversation (he also told me his number then :P...oh pillow talk...), and I think that was the moment he really, truly opened up to me. He's been burned in love before, so I know it was very hard for him to completely open up to someone again. One of the best things about this LDR is that it's forced us to communicate on a much deeper level, and I will be forever grateful for it. I know we both appreciate each other much more, and though I've never doubted my feelings for him, not once, this LDR has taught me to trust him even more, and vice versa.

                        He says he trusts me 100%, and I am the same with him. He's my rock.
                        "I love thee to the depth, and breadth, and height my soul can reach..." ~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

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                          #27
                          My SO and I are pretty honest with each other, but I do think there is such a thing as too honest, which he can definitely be sometimes, but I agree, lying is a tricky subject.

                          My SO bumped into his ex, with whom he is still 'friends', even though they havent spoken in a year. He was completely honest about their conversation and told me she kept telling him how much of an awful boyfriend he was when they were together etc etc... But it's really not easy to hear your boyfriend's exes views on their relationship, particularly when I consider him to be a good boyfriend, and it got me worried.

                          I know my SO was just being completely honest, but some things are hard to hear. It does make it easier to trust him, knowing he is honest with me, But it's something that I also can't forget at the moment and sometimes I think ignorance is bliss.

                          An ex of mine is in the same circle of friends as I am. We don't talk really (I really dont think you can be friends with your ex), but I don't tell my boyfriend every time I see him. I don' count that as lying really, but I guess thats about as bad as it gets....

                          Or I tell him i'm ok when I'm not quite a lot, but only because I know he feels bad for having to work away and I don't want him to feel worse than he already does.

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                            #28
                            I think im in the "too honest" category to him anyway. Mostly i try to be more tactful. Sometimes i do lie through omission as others have already said. He always knows something is up though i just tell him when im ready. He's exactly the same. If we wanna know something we'll ask and we tell the truth.

                            Regarding other people i will tell white lies unless they are directly asking me for my honest opinion. I generally try not to lie its jsut never gotten me vrey far and has screwed me up when i was younger.



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                              #29
                              I don't usually lie to him (with important things), but while I was planning a secret surprise visit to be with him, I had to lie to him quite a lot..
                              He didn't think I was even capable of lying ^^


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                                #30
                                We have a policy of honesty which both of us are anxious to adhere to.

                                On only one occasion did I find myself tempted to lie outright to my SO (about my passport application which I'd been promising to get sorted for months, but had been dragging my feet over for a reason I didn't feel ready to tell him about). Knowing me well, he sensed I'd been holding something back and finally called me out on it; his confusion, hurt and displeasure at being kept in the dark made me feel utterly wretched. I confessed why I'd been behaving in such a way... he was completely understanding, and needless to say I felt much better afterwards! From that day forth I swore to myself I'd always be straight with him no matter what. I don't want anything or anyone to come between us, and lying is a sure-fire way of causing that to happen.

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