Monday we was suppose to come for a visit. I was getting ready to leave for the airport and I checked my facebook. He sent me a break up letter. He never got on the plane. He was just telling me on Sunday how he loved me and would see me 'tomorrow'.
I'm still in shock. I really thought he was the one, I really thought we'd make it. I really thought this is what we both wanted, we would both beat the lrd odds. I don't know if I'll ever get closure. I don't even know what happened. We had our whole lives planned out, moving, marriage, kids all in detail, both of us. I don't know what to do. I'm so lost. I never thought I'd have to live my life without him. He always said "love is believing" i geuss he didn't believe enough. Part of me doesn't think this is real, that it's really over but the other part knows it must be. He missed a flight! In his message, it said things like "i don't know if i love you anymore, this isn't the future I want, i don't want to spend the rest of my life with you anymore" After everything we've been though, to be left like a piece of trash. He knew everything about my past, every insecurity, ever way i'd been hurt.... and he hurt me the worst. Part of me just wants him to come back, this was suppose to be my life! I move home to save money to come see him, I did a whole lot more too which I just can't bare to write. I'm so lost guys... Why me? why me...
I hope he see, one day, what he lost. I can't believe this, I just can't. What do I do? I was never more sure of someone or anything in my life. I hate writing this because it makes it more "real" more "final". I haven't had enough strength to write earlier. I barely do now. I can't stop thinking about everything, every plan, every promise, every word he said to me. No one could believe it, no one still can. but how could someone do this, in this way... how? so cold, so cruel... but I love him, but I know I have to move on I just don't know how.
He has a huge break down in November since he was suppose to move here in January. We talked everything through (so I thought) and pushed it back to July. He even asked me if Tuesday we could work on his school stuff. He just told me last week about how he thought our foundation is strong. I don't know what else to say right now. My heart is broken. Completely destroyed.
I'm still in shock. I really thought he was the one, I really thought we'd make it. I really thought this is what we both wanted, we would both beat the lrd odds. I don't know if I'll ever get closure. I don't even know what happened. We had our whole lives planned out, moving, marriage, kids all in detail, both of us. I don't know what to do. I'm so lost. I never thought I'd have to live my life without him. He always said "love is believing" i geuss he didn't believe enough. Part of me doesn't think this is real, that it's really over but the other part knows it must be. He missed a flight! In his message, it said things like "i don't know if i love you anymore, this isn't the future I want, i don't want to spend the rest of my life with you anymore" After everything we've been though, to be left like a piece of trash. He knew everything about my past, every insecurity, ever way i'd been hurt.... and he hurt me the worst. Part of me just wants him to come back, this was suppose to be my life! I move home to save money to come see him, I did a whole lot more too which I just can't bare to write. I'm so lost guys... Why me? why me...
I hope he see, one day, what he lost. I can't believe this, I just can't. What do I do? I was never more sure of someone or anything in my life. I hate writing this because it makes it more "real" more "final". I haven't had enough strength to write earlier. I barely do now. I can't stop thinking about everything, every plan, every promise, every word he said to me. No one could believe it, no one still can. but how could someone do this, in this way... how? so cold, so cruel... but I love him, but I know I have to move on I just don't know how.
He has a huge break down in November since he was suppose to move here in January. We talked everything through (so I thought) and pushed it back to July. He even asked me if Tuesday we could work on his school stuff. He just told me last week about how he thought our foundation is strong. I don't know what else to say right now. My heart is broken. Completely destroyed.
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