Curiosity Killed the Cat?

[Sora1101]

I'm glad, Trepis!

All of these responses are interesting! One thing I'm curious about is that it seems it's commonplace that for anyone who shares passwords/allows one to read over their shoulder/etc., they often say it along with "we have nothing to hide." For those who are more open with one another and do swap passwords or have no issue with being curious about what's going on with the other, is saying "we have nothing to hide" a means of justification? I simply have noticed that both here and on the other forum I posted a similar discussion on, "we have nothing to hide" seemed to be the argument for the side of openness and sharing and being free to look through one another's accounts, and it was strange to me, because my partner and I have never had issues with privacy in our relationship or trust and neither one of us feels like anything is being hid from the other. We're both open, but we both understand that we need our own spaces as well, and we don't hide anything from one another, so when those of you say "we have nothing to hide" say it, do you insinuate that people who are private do? Or is it more for your own reasoning/justification?

(I tried to say that as diplomatically as possible. I'm genuinely curious but also tired, so hoping my phrasing didn't come out wrong. xD)

When I say we have nothing to hide to me it means I have nothing I don't mind my SO seeing nor do I consider it an invasion of privacy, I don't say it to imply that those who don't share have things to hide just that I have no problems with my SO going through my stuff so long as he asks first.

[Adora]

We don't know each others passwords, but even I knew his I would absolutely NOT have a sneaky peek, I trust Ray 100% and would be fuming if he peeked at my things, not that I have anything to hide if he asked I would give him them not a problem.

[notyourexgirlfriend]

I guess after reading through some of these posts it's not so much I have nothing to hide. It's more that I have nothing to find perhaps? My SO had my Facebook password (I needed him to access my Facebook account some time ago. He says he's since forgotten it and that's fine). I don't have passwords of his for anything and I've never asked for them. It's more of an apathy thing for me I guess. When he was playing with my phone I knew that if he stumbled across messages to other people there'd be nothing of interest.

I don't particularly think it is commonplace for partners to share passwords. Some do and it works for them, others don't and that's fine too.

[WakeUpSusie]

I personally think that it is totally inappropriate to have your SO's passwords. I think that no matter what, that is a huge violation of privacy and respect by expecting them to provide that just so you "know you can trust them". I won't let my SO have my passwords because it's none of his damn business. I am completely and totally faithful to him and he knows that. He doesn't need to be able to read conversations between my friends and I to prove that.

Let me tell ya. If your SO is predestined to cheat on you, he'll figure out a way to do it not using Facebook or email. Having passwords and the ability to go through his/her personal correspondence won't change that.

[Haley53]

Let me tell ya. If your SO is predestined to cheat on you, he'll figure out a way to do it not using Facebook or email. Having passwords and the ability to go through his/her personal correspondence won't change that.

This I most definitely agree with.

Thank you everyone for the responses! And clarification, for those who offered it.

[Sharon Q]

I went through my boyfriends journal once. He wasnt too happy. Generally we dont go through each others stuff. We trust each other. And we both like our privacy.