Dear Reader:
This post may turn into a bit of a vent. You have be warned (but please still read because I could really use some advice).
I've been living alone for 10 months in a new state (500+ miles away from my boyfriend, Joe) and haven't met very many people at all (especially around the same age), until recently. I attended a BBQ the other weekend and ended up meeting/talking to a very interesting guy (we'll call him K). Hold that thought.
Back story:
Joe and I have been together for over 2 years now (and have pretty much LD for all but 7-8 months of that time while we still in college). Before I accepted the one year position I am currently in, I talked about it with Joe and got his support to accept this position. A few months ago we started talking about moving in together, and Joe was applying to jobs in both New York (his home) and North Carolina (where I am currently at, and would love to stay). The way our conversations were going, I was under the impression that he was more than willing to move here. So (on my birthday) he dropped a bomb on me: he was not only offered a job in NY, but accepted it (without talking to me about it first - so I had no choice but to "be" happy for him). I was/am very happy for him because he finally found a job (and it is in his degree, which is amazing), but I'm still a bit bitter that he couldn't even talk it over with me first. Now, as my one year position is almost over and I'm starting the job searching, I feel that I am restricted to applying for jobs in New York, so I can be with Joe.
On to the situation with K:
So I met K at a BBQ and we really hit it off. We talked, played some Cornhole, and shared some food/drinks (along with other people as well - it wasn't just us). A few of us had swapped numbers at the end of the night. I texted him the next day to thank him for teaching me Cornhole and to say I had a great time (mistake number 1 I guess). He invited me out for some celebration drinks (because my big project that I've been working on for months was finally getting started) which turned into dinner and drinks because I was running super late and couldn't eat beforehand. After a good bit of drinks, I offered for him to spend the night in my apartment because he was too drunk to drive home and my apartment was in walking distance. I was only trying to be a good friend - I had no other intentions. Once we got back to my apartment we spent some more time talking and ended up kissing. Let the shunning begin. I know cheaters suck, and that's why I'm turning to all of you for some advise. Sadly, the story doesn't end there. Because K is the first person around my age that I've met, I want to spend more time with him - just ad friends. Since that night, I've gone over to his place for dinner and to watch movies. And there's been some more kissing, and the addition of cuddling. I feel horrible! I don't know what to tell Joe (or if I should). K is on a two week vacation and upon his return I'll only have a month left here.
I've thought about this whole thing a lot and I'm not trying to give any excuse for why I've done the worst thing possible. But there are some things that stand out to me. I love Joe and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. But there's some issues there, that I hope (most) would just blow over once we get a place together and can actually be together. As far as K, he represents a possibility that I could stay in NC, which is really something I would LOVE to do. K is a complete southern gentleman, someone I always thought I would end up with. Joe become what I didn't know I was looking for.
I know the first advice is going to be to talk this out. K knows I'm in a 2 year LDR and he's expressed to me that he's been on both sides of this story (not that that helps in anyway). He's mentioned that he knows I'll choose Joe, but he wants to enjoy what little time we have together. As bad as this sounds, when you haven't gotten "attention" in awhile, it feels good when someone steps up to make you feel good. In addition, things haven't been great between Joe and I. Communication is a HUGE issue - I text him every day and I want to actually talk to him every day, but he doesn't seem to "find" time to talk to me, and that hurts. A LOT. Since I'm not in New York I've put Joe "in charge" of looking for a place for us, while I look for a job. Once I have a job, I'll be able to do what I can from a distance until September. But he hasn't even started looking, not even just for prices. I never know how he feels, because he very rarely expresses his feelings. Sometimes I feel like I'm only hoping he feels the same way about me that I feel about him.
The one thing that keeps running through my head is "never leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one s/he loves."
Any advice? Please. I'm worry myself sick over all this.
This post may turn into a bit of a vent. You have be warned (but please still read because I could really use some advice).
I've been living alone for 10 months in a new state (500+ miles away from my boyfriend, Joe) and haven't met very many people at all (especially around the same age), until recently. I attended a BBQ the other weekend and ended up meeting/talking to a very interesting guy (we'll call him K). Hold that thought.
Back story:
Joe and I have been together for over 2 years now (and have pretty much LD for all but 7-8 months of that time while we still in college). Before I accepted the one year position I am currently in, I talked about it with Joe and got his support to accept this position. A few months ago we started talking about moving in together, and Joe was applying to jobs in both New York (his home) and North Carolina (where I am currently at, and would love to stay). The way our conversations were going, I was under the impression that he was more than willing to move here. So (on my birthday) he dropped a bomb on me: he was not only offered a job in NY, but accepted it (without talking to me about it first - so I had no choice but to "be" happy for him). I was/am very happy for him because he finally found a job (and it is in his degree, which is amazing), but I'm still a bit bitter that he couldn't even talk it over with me first. Now, as my one year position is almost over and I'm starting the job searching, I feel that I am restricted to applying for jobs in New York, so I can be with Joe.
On to the situation with K:
So I met K at a BBQ and we really hit it off. We talked, played some Cornhole, and shared some food/drinks (along with other people as well - it wasn't just us). A few of us had swapped numbers at the end of the night. I texted him the next day to thank him for teaching me Cornhole and to say I had a great time (mistake number 1 I guess). He invited me out for some celebration drinks (because my big project that I've been working on for months was finally getting started) which turned into dinner and drinks because I was running super late and couldn't eat beforehand. After a good bit of drinks, I offered for him to spend the night in my apartment because he was too drunk to drive home and my apartment was in walking distance. I was only trying to be a good friend - I had no other intentions. Once we got back to my apartment we spent some more time talking and ended up kissing. Let the shunning begin. I know cheaters suck, and that's why I'm turning to all of you for some advise. Sadly, the story doesn't end there. Because K is the first person around my age that I've met, I want to spend more time with him - just ad friends. Since that night, I've gone over to his place for dinner and to watch movies. And there's been some more kissing, and the addition of cuddling. I feel horrible! I don't know what to tell Joe (or if I should). K is on a two week vacation and upon his return I'll only have a month left here.
I've thought about this whole thing a lot and I'm not trying to give any excuse for why I've done the worst thing possible. But there are some things that stand out to me. I love Joe and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. But there's some issues there, that I hope (most) would just blow over once we get a place together and can actually be together. As far as K, he represents a possibility that I could stay in NC, which is really something I would LOVE to do. K is a complete southern gentleman, someone I always thought I would end up with. Joe become what I didn't know I was looking for.
I know the first advice is going to be to talk this out. K knows I'm in a 2 year LDR and he's expressed to me that he's been on both sides of this story (not that that helps in anyway). He's mentioned that he knows I'll choose Joe, but he wants to enjoy what little time we have together. As bad as this sounds, when you haven't gotten "attention" in awhile, it feels good when someone steps up to make you feel good. In addition, things haven't been great between Joe and I. Communication is a HUGE issue - I text him every day and I want to actually talk to him every day, but he doesn't seem to "find" time to talk to me, and that hurts. A LOT. Since I'm not in New York I've put Joe "in charge" of looking for a place for us, while I look for a job. Once I have a job, I'll be able to do what I can from a distance until September. But he hasn't even started looking, not even just for prices. I never know how he feels, because he very rarely expresses his feelings. Sometimes I feel like I'm only hoping he feels the same way about me that I feel about him.
The one thing that keeps running through my head is "never leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one s/he loves."
Any advice? Please. I'm worry myself sick over all this.
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