This Distance Is Now My Enemy

[rach92g]

So this is where I'm at right now. I'm not in the mood for "inspirational quotes" about LDRs because let's all just face it, long distance SUCKS, and there really isn't anything anyone can say or do to help. I'm in the mood to rant! If anyone feels like posting a reply, please feel free, but I'm not seeking advice with this one, and I really just don't feel like putting it in the Blog section.

I HATE this distance! I loathe everything about it! I am so SICK of being without the one person that makes my life worth living; SICK of seeing other couples walking around happily holding hands; SICK of seeing others complain on Facebook or Twitter about their SO when they really have no idea how extremely lucky they are just to be in their presence.

I am so pissed off that he is going to miss yet another one of my birthdays, which is in the beginning of September. I know this is not his fault, he has mandatory training for his job, but it's as if the distance weren't a big enough hurdle to jump over in order to celebrate together, now he has a super demanding job that he has to work around. I am NOT mad at him! I'm mad at the distance! Is it possible to be mad at something that isn't tangible?

I'm so mad, that I can't even cry. I want to cry so badly because I know it would probably help me feel better, but the tears just won't come. That may sound a little crazy, but seriously, a good cry will work wonders.

I'm just so done. I'm over it. Three years of this crap is freakin' long enough. I love him, I want more than anything for us to stay together, but something has got to give. I can't do this anymore.

If I've bored any of you, I'm not really sorry, because this is how I'm feeling right now and I needed to get it out of head and into words, but I do ask that you not post anything negative, because that will probably just piss me off even more. If anyone else is feeling the same way I am, I'm sorry, because it sucks.

Goodnight everyone.

[vcntrygrlv]

I totally understand. It has only been a year and I am going out of my mind, so I can only imagine how I would feel after 3. At first, when I would have a bad day, or miss him, just the sound of his voice would be comfort enough, and sometimes it still is. But when I am feeling extremely lonely, frustrated, and sad.....nothing can help....I need HIM....HERE.....I think you have every right to hate this "intangible enemy" and be as angry as you are

[kittyo9]

Yup, me too. Sometimes I just get angry and I feel like it's not fair at all.

I'm not so upset that he misses things like birthdays and holidays-- I'm used to being alone/with few people for those things (esp. birthdays), so I don't really care. For me, it's more little life experiences: cooking dinner for each other, watching TV together, visiting him at his work/school/wherever, grocery shopping together... things that most CD couples take for granted.

[Usani]

I completely agree with you and kitty as well. The whole missing birthdays and whatnot doesn't bother me but not being to be near each other or watch movies together in person really gets to me at times. Just tonight I broke down crying because I wanted to be near him so badly.

[teachernicole]

This is completely understandable and I have times where I'm like this. When a friend complains about a 20 minute distance between them and their SO, and I'm just like you have absolutely no idea how lucky you are that it's 20 minutes and not 24 hour traveling, thousands of dollars, airport madness, not even mentioning the months apart...

I think my fiance just tries to be a constant rock to cheer me up because he is always positive about the distance. He says we'll see each other in a few months, it's nothing we haven't done before, hopefully the next plane ticket one of us buys is one way...which is nice to hear. It sometimes ends up making me feel worse because I feel guilty that I'm in tears over it and he's ok. But when I think about it, I feel just like you! The distance is hard and it hurts and I hate it. But honestly I wouldn't change anything about my relationship because I know it's only temporary.

[MattDavies86]

I can't imagine anyone who likes the long distance, I hate it, but that's life I guess, the only brightside is that is' not permanent! And where there' a will there's a way and we can get the distance closed

[Safihre]

I wanted to write a post like this for a long time already!! I totally agree with you. Ofcourse the whole forum is filled with words of inspiration and tips to stay busy. But the reality just sucks.. We (95%+) need our physical closeness.

Wish my so was here now...

[PrincessJOE]

I feel exactly like you, so yeah... distance sucks! I'm having some really bad days cos of it, sometimes i feel like if i can't manage it all. I keep telling myself it'll be worth it, that what we both are doing now will make it possible to be happy together in few years and all but... truth is i feel extremely lonely right now.

[charly]

This is just exactly on the spot. I feel like demanding a choice of my SO, I want to scream in his face that I can't do it anymore, that I don't want this distance anymore. Because it's not fair that this stupid distance thing will have to go on for many years. I'm so done with it, I can't.

And I feel like giving up all the time,
but that wouldn't be fair. Because like you said, I'm not angry with him, I'm angry with the hours between us.

[Mims27]

YUP!
I hate it and it's long and lonely. It is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. My sister once told me that I chose this type of relationship because I had never been in a real one and this was "easy". Hum yeah right. If she only knew how hard this is. And I didn't choose who I would fall in love with, it's just how it happened. Do I get angry and cry all the time? Yes! Is it worth it? Absolutely. Thank god it's not permanent...

[abna1]

Do I get angry and cry all the time? Yes! Is it worth it? Absolutely. Thank god it's not permanent...

YES !
I also can't imagine anyone loving the situation. Some people may be able to cope with it better than others. I would be one of the others. It's terrible ! I agree with you. It's frustrating when other people don't understand, think you're being a drama queen or even say that you're lucky to NOT be around the person you love, because they're annoyed with their partners.
Hang in there and let it all out !

[katiecat08]

I can totally sympathize with you. I'm frustrated all the time because of our distance and we've discovered we can't do distance for years. Were trying to close our distance as soon as we can cause I'm going crazy and losing it. I cry a lot and want to scream all the time.

[katiecat08]

So many couples take their closeness for granted versus long distance couples. I just want to smack someone when they complain of not seeing their SO for just a few days. Try a few months! We're the stronger people. I think we're more successful than most people because we try harder and know each other on a more deeper level than others.

[dizzyupthemeg]

I'm not so upset that he misses things like birthdays and holidays-- I'm used to being alone/with few people for those things (esp. birthdays), so I don't really care. For me, it's more little life experiences: cooking dinner for each other, watching TV together, visiting him at his work/school/wherever, grocery shopping together... things that most CD couples take for granted.

This x 1000. What I get the most upset about is not being able to do small things together like go to the movies, go for a walk, or grocery shopping. The distance is hard, but I know that it is worth it. One day I'll get to do all these things, and I'll be much more grateful because I know that I fought for it.

[Mims27]

One day I'll get to do all these things, and I'll be much more grateful because I know that I fought for it.

This is what my SO keeps reminding me. It's really hard for me to go out and do fun things without her. Next weekend I'm going to FanExpo in Toronto with a friend and I want her there so bad! But she tells me that we will do SO MANY fun things together very very soon.