Originally posted by Alisz
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Now, theoretically, I think it's normal to stay friends with your ex, especially if you had a serious relationship (perhaps even kids) and you're still on good terms because the break-up was a mutual agreement without hard feelings or something like that. If you had that kind of break-up and still totally cut off a person you used to love and spent years of your life with, that's terrible, too.
Then again, on a more realistic level and as sad as it may be, I know that staying friends wouldn't really work for me. From the perspective of a current relationship, I simply can't deal with my partner spending time with his ex, and I wouldn't expect my partner to accept that in me either. From the perspective of a past relationship, my deep feelings don't just go away because the relationship is over and it would just be too hurtful and keep me from moving on.
My husband and I have actually talked about whether we would stay friends if we separated. As I said, it depends on the reason for the break-up, but I think the pain would still just be too much to bear.
A friend of mine is good friends with some of her exes, I'd even say her last boyfriend is one of her best friends! Her current bf (and his new gf) seem okay with it - don't ask me how that works! At the same time as I realize it's a very mature thing to do, I couldn't do it.
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