Midlife Crises

[ldrxoxo]

To clarify, he did not stop talking to me because of the stories. He got freaked out because I freaked out about not being able to save up money to see him any time soon with work constantly getting called off while I'm looking for a new job which has a 40-hour work week. The only reason things are the way they are is because I don't have a solid 40-hour work week job. If I had money coming in weekly, I would be able to save to visit him one day maybe next year if we start talking again and not have even thought about the casino. He would always compliment me about the stories I wrote about him and he enjoyed that other people love our stories that I wrote about us, and was even helping me come up with ideas on what to write about for my big book.

I went outside to walk the dog today since it's sunny for a change and not snowy or rainy and it did help me clear my mind a bit, unfortunately a little too late.

I think he still has me on Skype but when he notices he hasn't deleted me from there yet I don't know if he will or not. I can't do anything about anything but wait to see if he will come back to me if he ever does. I wish he would have let me talk to him on the phone for ten minutes. I never heard his voice.

[ldrxoxo]

P.S. I guess I should have come up with a better title than "Midlife Crises" but I didn't know what to call it. That just popped up in my head for a split second. I should have named it "Words I didn't mean to say" or something like that. :P

[Zapookie]

Let him go. He's not worth your time. If he was, he would stick around instead of playing stupid games. Games are for children.

[ldrxoxo]

Let him go. He's not worth your time. If he was, he would stick around instead of playing stupid games. Games are for children.

That's the only thing I can do now. Hopefully when he grows up more he'll stop toying with me. We had just finally talked things out after our first rough patch and then it went back the same way again. He says things to me to make me think that he'll leave hope for the future for when we can be together, while currently he acts different about it. If I had more things to do I wouldn't think about this too much. Just gonna have to pick up another hobby. :/

[Laural007]

You have never spoken to him on the phone? Just to get a better understanding, your entire relationship is based on texting? You don't deserve to be treated like dirt and he IS toying with you. If he was as serious about you as you are about him, he'd take the time to call you, he would crave to know what your voice sounded like. At this point all you have is your fantasy about who you THINK he is. He isn't ready to be tied down and you need to save your dignity and let him go. Take time to find out who you are and then try dating again. A healthy relationship is not what you have and never will with this boy.

[Davidvs]

I need to be pretty blunt here...

I have read most of your threads about this relationship, and can honestly say that if I were in his shoes, I would have deleted your contact info a long time ago and run away. It looks like he may finally be doing that.

Stop contacting him, he was never looking for a serious relationship with you and everything you have done has driven him further and further away.

[ldrxoxo]

You have never spoken to him on the phone? Just to get a better understanding, your entire relationship is based on texting? You don't deserve to be treated like dirt and he IS toying with you. If he was as serious about you as you are about him, he'd take the time to call you, he would crave to know what your voice sounded like. At this point all you have is your fantasy about who you THINK he is. He isn't ready to be tied down and you need to save your dignity and let him go. Take time to find out who you are and then try dating again. A healthy relationship is not what you have and never will with this boy.

We have Skyped lots of times through video and I've heard him laughing, but we haven't actually heard our voices. I thought that was weird talking to someone for 3+ months and never hearing his voice. I know if he could see me in person he wouldn't be like this, in fact, I wouldn't be like this either. I guess neither of us can really handle the distance.

[ldrxoxo]

I need to be pretty blunt here...

I have read most of your threads about this relationship, and can honestly say that if I were in his shoes, I would have deleted your contact info a long time ago and run away. It looks like he may finally be doing that.

Stop contacting him, he was never looking for a serious relationship with you and everything you have done has driven him further and further away.

Wow, so my behavior is not warranted when he used to make time for me now he falls off the face of the earth? Like I said, I gave him space, waited for him to message me and when he didn't that's when I went off on him. No, your comment was not useful! I was patiently waiting trying to see if he would talk to me again like he used.

It seems from your comment, I probably wouldn't have talked to you in the first place to get as far as you running the other way.

[ldrxoxo]

I need to be pretty blunt here...

I have read most of your threads about this relationship, and can honestly say that if I were in his shoes, I would have deleted your contact info a long time ago and run away. It looks like he may finally be doing that.

Stop contacting him, he was never looking for a serious relationship with you and everything you have done has driven him further and further away.

See, I dislike guys like you who act like I or other women are crazy for no reason when you bring it upon yourselves with your wishy-washy behaviors. When he was full on making efforts to contact me did I behave that way? No, I didn't, so I'd re-evaluate your thinking if I were you.

[Deleted]

When you post a thread here, you're leaving a place for other people to voice their opinions. I get the feeling you want a certain response to your questions; that you want us to tell you that everything will be okay and that it will work out in the end. But you get what you get, and a lot of us are realists here...people will say what they want to say and what they believe to be true. I follow a personal mantra: "Don't ask questions you're not ready to know the answer to." It looks like you're looking for a specific answer from all of us, and you're not happy because we're not giving you those answers. You can think what you want, but if you don't want your thoughts to be influenced, don't post. You obviously don't like the advice we're giving you.

[rubydissolution]

See, I dislike guys like you who act like I or other women are crazy for no reason when you bring it upon yourselves with your wishy-washy behaviors. When he was full on making efforts to contact me did I behave that way? No, I didn't, so I'd re-evaluate your thinking if I were you.

As a woman, I tend to think most of us are a little crazy. We have to be, we are emotional beings! But there is a scale of girl crazy. The normal levels, where we get a little clingy, being passive aggressive and cry for no reason, and then there is that other extreme. Being aggressive (those girls that slash their exes tires are a good example), being obsessive, emotional instability and many other examples. You are bordering on obsessive and it's only been a few months. I think it's best to move on now and cut your losses. As he gets more comfortable at college he is going to spend less time in his room, and more time out and about with people his own age. Meaning even if he doesn't mean to, he's not going to be around to chit chat. Age shouldn't matter...but sometimes it does. Find someone your own age, someone who is ready for what you want. Someone who will actually have something to offer you in advice for a gambling addiction and someone who isn't preoccupied with their own life to give you comfort. You aren't going to find those things with a 19 year old college boy.

Mostly take time for yourself. You like to write so write! But not about him. Be creative, make up something entirely new and unrelated. I used to be heavily into creative writing. From fanfics (shh) to my own ideas and it was freeing. It would keep me occupied for hours, with nothing on my mind but my characters and the story I was weaving. I had things written on napkins and receipts because ideas would pop into my head as I went about daily life. Find something to commit yourself to, and forget all about this. It's for the best. And when you are ready, you'll find the perfect guy. For some of us (took me 30 years) it takes longer than others.

BTW...i had a micro mid life crisis last year when I turned 30...I got 3 tattoos, and 7 piercings all in that time frame. It happens.

[ldrxoxo]

When you post a thread here, you're leaving a place for other people to voice their opinions. I get the feeling you want a certain response to your questions; that you want us to tell you that everything will be okay and that it will work out in the end. But you get what you get, and a lot of us are realists here...people will say what they want to say and what they believe to be true. I follow a personal mantra: "Don't ask questions you're not ready to know the answer to." It looks like you're looking for a specific answer from all of us, and you're not happy because we're not giving you those answers. You can think what you want, but if you don't want your thoughts to be influenced, don't post. You obviously don't like the advice we're giving you.

When I posted here I asked to see if anyone else has been in this situation and what did they do. That does not give you room to freely insult the OP I mean it's clear in the forum rules btw but people still do it anyway.

[lyonsgirl]

Skimmed the thread. This was not what I was expecting based on the title.

[MissButterfly]

Wow, so my behavior is not warranted when he used to make time for me now he falls off the face of the earth? Like I said, I gave him space, waited for him to message me and when he didn't that's when I went off on him. No, your comment was not useful! I was patiently waiting trying to see if he would talk to me again like he used.

It seems from your comment, I probably wouldn't have talked to you in the first place to get as far as you running the other way.

See, I dislike guys like you who act like I or other women are crazy for no reason when you bring it upon yourselves with your wishy-washy behaviors. When he was full on making efforts to contact me did I behave that way? No, I didn't, so I'd re-evaluate your thinking if I were you.

Do you realize that you just replied to the same comment twice, within 3 minutes, in 2 completely different ways?

[80anthea]

Skimmed the thread. This was not what I was expecting based on the title.

Personally I was disappointed with the lack of lamborghinis.