Advice Regarding a Girl That I Met Online Recently

[merlinkitty]

It is really nice to know that she trusts me. She told me this herself.

It is, isn't it I've finally learned the value of a relationship built on trust and communication it's made me feel treasured in a way I never thought possible and this is why I think you two are building the foundation of something truly exquisite

[Ahava]

It is, isn't it I've finally learned the value of a relationship built on trust and communication it's made me feel treasured in a way I never thought possible

This! I would also like to add (from my own perspective) that a relationship built on friendship. It is so wonderful and liberating to be in a relationship where you are first and foremost best friends, can talk about anything, don't get judged, allowed to be your own self without the other trying to constantly change you.

[merlinkitty]

This! I would also like to add (from my own perspective) that a relationship built on friendship. It is so wonderful and liberating to be in a relationship where you are first and foremost best friends, can talk about anything, don't get judged, allowed to be your own self without the other trying to constantly change you.

Perfectly said and perfectly liberating I thought I was beyond the point where I needed a "best friend" in my life, but I think I got one anyway

[Arhat]

Perfectly said and perfectly liberating I thought I was beyond the point where I needed a "best friend" in my life, but I think I got one anyway

This one is my favourite person to talk to. I only need talk to her for five minutes, and already I feel better. I've never met her in person, but she refrains from judging me, and seems to really respect my individuality, even though they aren't views or tastes she may not have herself.
Other girlfriend's of mine, either wanted me to fit a certain ideal that they had, or I liked something they didn't want me to they'd cause childish conflicts. It's flawed from the beginning when people do such things. I can understand your feelings on this perfectly.

[Ahava]

Things are great when people realise that the relationship consists of two individuals that have different tastes, likes and opinions. And that it is not a threat to the relationship or the other person to be different. I don't have to like football or pretend to like football, he doesn't have to be exstatic about things I do. But the thing I find wonderful is that he listens to me and asks about stuff I do (that he is not into) and takes an interest (and hopefully vice versa).
Also I love the fact that the guy has wanted to know every single day for nearly two years how I am/how my day has been.

[Arhat]

Things are great when people realise that the relationship consists of two individuals that have different tastes, likes and opinions. And that it is not a threat to the relationship or the other person to be different. I don't have to like football or pretend to like football, he doesn't have to be exstatic about things I do. But the thing I find wonderful is that he listens to me and asks about stuff I do (that he is not into) and takes an interest (and hopefully vice versa).
Also I love the fact that the guy has wanted to know every single day for nearly two years how I am/how my day has been.

I'm always genuinely interested to know all about her day, even if it seems uninteresting for her. she seems to be a bit more outgoing than I am, I'm quite a loner sometimes, but it's good.

sometimes if she's having a low moment, I tell her how much I really admire her, and all she's managed to do. And that she amazes me, her strength of character.

[Arhat]

Update:

She's just informed me that she will clean the dust in her bedroom for when I visit her, damn women and their infernal riddles LOL

[merlinkitty]

Other girlfriend's of mine, either wanted me to fit a certain ideal that they had, or I liked something they didn't want me to they'd cause childish conflicts. It's flawed from the beginning when people do such things. I can understand your feelings on this perfectly.

That's what I feel like. It's nice to finally be accepted for who I am I can always use improvement, but he doesn't try to change who I am at my core. We've had disagreements in the past, but being able to get through those without being blown off or insulted makes me feel like we can work through anything.

Update:

She's just informed me that she will clean the dust in her bedroom for when I visit her, damn women and their infernal riddles LOL

Infernal they might be, but you're enjoying them all the same

[Arhat]

anyway, to be honest, I can't see it going much further after tonight. I thought to myself I'll keep away from FB today, and not write to her, but stupid me I did. She's much more grounded and rational than I am, and I told her of some spiritual experiences I had over the years. Big mistake perhaps, despite she reassured me otherwise. I won't make a fool of myself ever again

[merlinkitty]

Big mistake perhaps, despite she reassured me otherwise. I won't make a fool of myself ever again

Perhaps you're just feeling exposed? It really makes your equilibrium feel out of balance. This is that piece of trust that makes it so hard for us to place in one another. That when we open ourselves, the other person won't let us fall Don't put so much weight into what you think she feels. She reassured you that whatever it was you shared was fine. Trust her words that it is

[Arhat]

She just messaged me apologising, i think she sensed i was a little off with her. I'm too much of a diva still sometimes lol

[merlinkitty]

Hehehe I can completely understand lol He's the grounded one of the two of us and I can't tell you how many messages I've sent my SO completely flipping out over something I thought had happened or I had completely fabricated lol poor man, bless him lol, he's talked me down off a few ledges lol but I guess that's what happens when your very essence is open and exposed for the other to see it's worse than walking into a roomful of people completely naked lol

[Arhat]

lol, I feel better now that she wrote to me. She had to leave to go to a rehearsal of her new group, and said to me that her replies were brief as she was hungover and sleepy. It's a silly thing to feel, I don't resent her for it. It's just my life here is like that of a prisoner recently. I keep joking to people that if I'm succesful and get my visa in december that my parole will be due and it will be like the shawshank redemption lol. But I really feel it's no exageration either with how things are currently in my country, I'm a glass half-full guy as well, but sometimes we have to look at reality as it is. sometimes I think my predicament here has been made to be so difficult to encourage me to leave, I believe in destiny. I've had no life have for awhile, I have to save all of my money so that I can move, so I cannot enjoy things here.
I never told her this, but many years ago, I was told by a clairvoyant that I'd one day meet a woman of native american origin, and she'd be a musician and creative she also described her in detail, so a few weeks after i met her and we were talking, the penny dropped and it got me thinking, as I'd forgotten what the psychic had told me years ago. I live in a rural part of england, so you can imagine the chances of that seemed very scarce? lol at the time i was like what? hehe. I was also told shortly after I'd finish my studies I'd go on a trip to north america, and that she couldn't see me remaining in england much longer after that. She also said about this woman that I'd meet, we'd meet in the springtime (I first spoke to her on april fools, she posted a joke on a fb contact's wall), and we'd be attracted to one another instantly, we would begin as friends at first, and then later on decide to take things further.

[Arhat]

I think maybe it's a positive thing, she said to me herself, if we both had the same viewpoints, things would be boring

[merlinkitty]

lol I appreciate the explanations of what he's doing. Since I can't see him in his day to day business, nor his facial expression typically as he does that business, these kind of things help a great deal in understanding the tone of a conversation. Some days I may be totally committed to the conversation. Others, I might have some distractions that a preventing me from interacting fully, but I love the time I spend with him so much that I really would rather blow off whatever it is, but I just can't. So I make do But I think, at minimum, he should know what's going on so he can understand the tone

My SO is very much the same as he wants to leave England. It's been difficult for him, but I'm very much encouraged by his tenacity. Doing what we can to open our options have really given me the sense of purpose and progress that I need in order to feel like we're moving forward

I was talking to a friend of mine recently who is all gaga about me and Him and really just a romantic at heart lol but she said something that struck a chord with me. She said that he and I seemed to be very good friends and that it would be nice to have something more with a friend. For some reason it clicked and I was like yeah she's right. There is something terribly more intimate letting someone get to know you and, honestly, as scary as it has been, I wouldn't want it any different

I think maybe it's a positive thing, she said to me herself, if we both had the same viewpoints, things would be boring

I agree with her me and him agree on a lot, but not everything. I like how he challenges my thoughts and shows me there are other viewpoints that are perfectly valid. It's given us hours of conversation lol