Would this bother you?

[snow]

I gave my SO a lot of slack on this, basically because of his job, and the fact that if he goes up north, he doesn't get service. It just depends on what you can personally be "okay with" some people are okay with a day pf no comm. Sone people arent. Also, the main thing that makes me happy is: he's trying. Sometimes, that's all you can really ask for.

This. If it happened every other day, at least once a week or even a couple times a week, maybe I would get a little irritated, but every once in a while with a busy job, I would probably be more worried than angry.

[Unconditional]

I gave my SO a lot of slack on this, basically because of his job, and the fact that if he goes up north, he doesn't get service. It just depends on what you can personally be "okay with" some people are okay with a day pf no comm. Sone people arent. Also, the main thing that makes me happy is: he's trying. Sometimes, that's all you can really ask for.

[snow]

*shrug* Not every single minute has to be filled with talking. Sending a link of something that he thought you would enjoy would be enough for me.

[LovingAcrossTheAtlantic]

While I can understand wanting more. And I know it used to bother me on those rare days when I wouldn't get to talk to my SO at all. But I talked to him about it and expressed how it concerned me and he explained why he had gone a day without talking. I think if its bothering you, you should find out why there is the lack of communication on those days, and ask if its possible for him to set aside maybe 5 minutes just to tell you what he is doing and why he may not get to talk to you.

[Polly]

I wouldn't be bothered. My SO periodically goes through some intense work days and he wouldn't text or email for a good part of the day. What I don't get is, why don't YOU text him to let him know you're thinking of him? Don't you ever initiate contact? Or do you text him and he doesn't text back?

We both initiate contact with me being about 70% of the time initiating if I had to give you an estimate. There have been times when he is too busy to respond.

This is something that I just had to deal with - the no contact, and it does bother me. I'm no longer with him (not really because of this... it's complicated). But I can understand just wanting to have like a text or two... nothing much. Just to know that he's thinking about you. So I feel like it would bother me, and it has bothered me. But it would depend on if he had told you if he was going to be too busy or not - it just depends on the situation itself.

[CanadianGirl]

What I don't get is, why don't YOU text him to let him know you're thinking of him? Don't you ever initiate contact? Or do you text him and he doesn't text back?

Yeah, I'd be bothered by no texts a day IF I had my own texts being ignored entirely. How often do you let him know during the day that he's on your mind?

[itsjen516]

That used to bug me to :-/ like eveb a simple text saying hey love you. But sometimes I didn't hear from him for hours. And I knew he was busy but still :-/. So you have every right to be bugged

[Hollandia]

You have every right to need more, but he also has every right not to want to give it. I think you need to have a conversation with him and work out a compromise. You both need to find a common ground of what you can each accept. If you can't find that middle ground, you will continue to want more or he will continue to want less and it will continue to cause problems.

I suggest each making a wish list of what your ideal amount of communication would be and then working out a plan to make it work for both of you to be happy. I don't ever like to hear when one partner is "too busy" and the other is upset by it, you really are never too busy to make a 2 minute text a day, you just don't want to feel obligated to do it. I get that, but for me if my SO had been like that too much, we would never have gotten to this point. I need more than that and we did work out because he did too. Each couple is different, so you need to figure out what works best for you two.

I look at it like this, I have had two jobs and been a single mom and still made time to talk to my (galpal) best friend at that time, me and her found time every week to talk on the phone around kids and bosses and boyfriends and everything else, so why should your partner be any different? If you really want to make the time, you can. A day with no communication every once and a while is one thing but when it happens more often than not, it is not about being busy. You need to figure out what is what you are okay with, and what you are not okay with and then work forward from there.

[TwoThree]

I wouldn't be bothered. My SO periodically goes through some intense work days and he wouldn't text or email for a good part of the day. What I don't get is, why don't YOU text him to let him know you're thinking of him? Don't you ever initiate contact? Or do you text him and he doesn't text back?

[Polly]

I am being too picky if I feel like I need daily communication even if it's just a text? Lately I've been feeling disconnected from our relationship, and it would help if I knew that there was some sort of communication everyday.

If he forgets a day here or there, maybe a couple times a week where he goes without communicating with me, then I should just let it go?

[digitalfever]

Yes, you are being too picky.

[Polly]

Most of the time my SO sends me a few texts during the day letting me know how his day has been and asking me how I am. If he's too busy during the day, we usually exchange a few texts at night.

However there are some days, maybe once in a while, where he will let a whole day pass with no communication. I chalk it up to him being too busy that he forgets.
But when this happens I get really frustrated and I have told him I like hearing from him even if it is a simple text. He knows this and tries his best but, he still forgets sometimes and let's 24 hrs go by with no word from him.

Also, there are times when all he does is send me a link through email to a funny picture or video but that's all. I think its because he's too tired for a conversation by text or phone/video chat so this is his way of letting me know he's thinking of me.

Am I being too picky if I can tell for the most part he's trying? Do you give your SO some slack if he or she sometimes gets so involved and busy with what they're doing so that they forget to communicate with you and let a day go by with nothing?