Am I being too unreasonable?

[whatruckus]

Yeah, I stand by what I said. He is not your BF anymore. He was quite clear and concise and seemed to say exactly what he did and did not want and he took no blame for his own issues and put blame on your clingyness. You could offer him yourself on a gold plated platter, he is done loud and clear. He really just wants to be friends. My advice is agree to this but don't contact him anymore till he does and when he does keep it casual.

I agree. It looks like he was putting the blame on you and doesn't even seem like he knows what a real relationship is, or how to be in one. Especially when he said, "I thought a relationship would be something simple where we could share with each other without having to dedicate so much time with one another." Relationships are in no way, ever, simple.

Definitely time for you to move on and find someone else who cares about you and your feelings and understands that relationships are work. I mean, if you want to be there for him as a friend, that's fine, but I honestly don't ever see him as changing or becoming someone you want him to be. Especially since he has AS.

[Kapwned]

Thank you for your thoughts, you guys. I think you are right. I've still continued to talk to him about it, but again I am not really holding my breath or waiting up for him. He has a lot of issues which he is clearly not wanting to budge on.

[Miasmata]

Kapwned, you've definitely shown him lots of understanding and patience, and I still say you can be proud of yourself for that. But as with all kinds of mental issues, they can explain things, but they don't excuse any problems you have with his behaviour. It's fine for him to hope that you have understanding and patience, but it's still up to him to honor it and put in effort too. If you feel like he doesn't bring that effort or doesn't want to, that's not your mistake, definitely. He's still an adult who makes his own decisions.

[whatruckus]

Kapwned, you've definitely shown him lots of understanding and patience, and I still say you can be proud of yourself for that. But as with all kinds of mental issues, they can explain things, but they don't excuse any problems you have with his behaviour. It's fine for him to hope that you have understanding and patience, but it's still up to him to honor it and put in effort too. If you feel like he doesn't bring that effort or doesn't want to, that's not your mistake, definitely. He's still an adult who makes his own decisions.

Yep yep!

[Kapwned]

Kapwned, you've definitely shown him lots of understanding and patience, and I still say you can be proud of yourself for that. But as with all kinds of mental issues, they can explain things, but they don't excuse any problems you have with his behaviour. It's fine for him to hope that you have understanding and patience, but it's still up to him to honor it and put in effort too. If you feel like he doesn't bring that effort or doesn't want to, that's not your mistake, definitely. He's still an adult who makes his own decisions.

Thank you, it means a lot to me that someone with AS can at least recognize and appreciate my efforts. I mean nothing but respect. I've never treated his AS as a disability or 'disorder' it's just a different way the mind works and I try to be understanding of that and with every quirk he has I try to see how his AS may attribute to it. But it doesn't excuse him taking advantage of me and treating me this way. I should have seen this coming. He doesn't even really know too much about his condition (he pronounces it as-per-jerrs) and he gets offended and goes into denial when I talk about the struggles my Aspie nephew goes through and treats me like I pull my knowledge out of my arse even though I can easily bombard him with sources backing me up.

This is going to hurt him in the long run and it already is as it appears.