I’ve been in a LDR with my boyfriend for over 11 months. He lives about 3 hours away, which I know is nothing compared to other LDR couples, but with me in school full time and working and him working crazy shifts, we see each other about once a month.
Right now, I’m struggling because we are never together for holidays. He was invited to my family’s Thanksgiving and Christmas (my family is an hour from him, so when I’m home I hope we see more of each other, but not always). I did go to a Thanksgiving dinner with his family the next day. He also was invited to my birthday dinner in January, but picked up shifts on those days and couldn’t make it. He called me on my birthday, so it’s not that he forgot, but we saw each other the weekend before, and I thought maybe he’d give me a card celebrate in some way. Nope. Today is Valentine’s Day, and he texted me saying Happy Valentine’s Day, but no call, no card, not even a little more in the text about how he feels, nothing.
He’s coming this weekend, so I know I shouldn’t be acting like such a spoiled brat, but he hasn’t mentioned anything about celebrating Valentine’s Day or my birthday together. In fact, our one year anniversary is next month and I told him I’d be home on spring break. It’s his weekend off, even! I was so excited that we’d finally be able to spend one of these important days together...now he has said he picked up OT and won’t be available, but has a couple days off during the week instead.
I’m really hurt and trying not to be a baby about this, but I need some advice from people who are living it. Is this normal, am I expecting too much? I just don’t know how to talk about my feelings without sounding like a baby whining she isn’t getting her way. I don’t want expensive gifts or dinners, just to feel like I’m important enough to spend time with more than one weekend a month, especially when our schedules had worked for such a perfect day.
I don’t know what to do, but it’s causing a huge strain that I’m not even sure he realizes is there.
Right now, I’m struggling because we are never together for holidays. He was invited to my family’s Thanksgiving and Christmas (my family is an hour from him, so when I’m home I hope we see more of each other, but not always). I did go to a Thanksgiving dinner with his family the next day. He also was invited to my birthday dinner in January, but picked up shifts on those days and couldn’t make it. He called me on my birthday, so it’s not that he forgot, but we saw each other the weekend before, and I thought maybe he’d give me a card celebrate in some way. Nope. Today is Valentine’s Day, and he texted me saying Happy Valentine’s Day, but no call, no card, not even a little more in the text about how he feels, nothing.
He’s coming this weekend, so I know I shouldn’t be acting like such a spoiled brat, but he hasn’t mentioned anything about celebrating Valentine’s Day or my birthday together. In fact, our one year anniversary is next month and I told him I’d be home on spring break. It’s his weekend off, even! I was so excited that we’d finally be able to spend one of these important days together...now he has said he picked up OT and won’t be available, but has a couple days off during the week instead.
I’m really hurt and trying not to be a baby about this, but I need some advice from people who are living it. Is this normal, am I expecting too much? I just don’t know how to talk about my feelings without sounding like a baby whining she isn’t getting her way. I don’t want expensive gifts or dinners, just to feel like I’m important enough to spend time with more than one weekend a month, especially when our schedules had worked for such a perfect day.
I don’t know what to do, but it’s causing a huge strain that I’m not even sure he realizes is there.
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