Keeping your LDR secret

[Tanja]

Reading these posts make me so happy that all the hiding and secresy is behind us now lol - it's so great to be in an LDR and let everyone know about it

[Athena]

I wish I could tell my parents I'm in an LDR or rather a relationship.
They're very strict and think boys in general get in the way of schoolwork.
My boyfriend is very understand and want us to wait until it's right to tell them.
Now would not be the greatest time since they just met him not too long ago even though he and I have been together since November.
However... even though they don't know... most of my family (Aunts, Uncles, Nana, sister, etc) and my friends know about my relationship with my boyfriend. I'm glad to say that most of them support my LDR and are happy that I'm happy.
I do love him dearly and miss him so very much.

[LadyMarchHare]

It was sort of a secret for a while, though I told my best friend the minute after he asked me out. We had to keep it hush hush because not only was he unsure about how to define the relationship (he wasn't sure he could commit to someone who wasn't physically there) but his best friend of 7 years, a girl, who I was friends with now had a huuuuge crush on him and had for years. He'd tried being in a relationship with her but she was so needy she was changing herself to his liking instead of being herself. He told her it wasn't happening a year before and she still threw herself at him shamelessly. (she even tried getting in MY pants, which freaked me out since I've never had a girl like me and I'm straight) He was super worried about telling her but I let him handle it.

A week after we began dating I told my mom because, y'know, my first boyfriend ever. What I got was less than pleasant because my mom was in a LDR with my dad (who turned out to be a psycho) so she preached to me about him being a rapist, wanting my virginity, etc and then it got worse when she saw a picture and realized he was black. 20 minutes of "if you marry him and have kids I won't be there". I cried for days. A week later my SO told his best friend and she tried acting calm because she knew me enough to know I wasn't a user, but she still threatened me. The rest of our friends don't know (I dunno if his do, I only have 1 offline friend and the others just know I'm dating but not who) which is fine since it's none of their business. My mom forbade me from telling the rest of the family. About a month later his best friend blew up on him and again threatened me. My relatives found out a month ago (mind you, we began dating in February) when my mom told them I was "Stood up" by him when our plans to have me visit didn't go through.

I think it's good people are proud enough to say "Hey I'm in a LDR" but it sucks having no support. Even my best friend hates him now.

[NaNi]

I've never kept my LDR a secret and the people that are important to me accepted it right away. Actually, there wasn't anything to "accept". That's just how it was. I was happy and they were happy too. For me.

[mynameisgirl]

I guess I kind of keep my LDR a secret, which I know I shouldn't do but honestly some people are extremely judgmental and I don't want them trash talking my relationship so I only really talk about it with a small group of friends. Some people have had weird reactions to it though so it makes me even more hestitant to tell people. I'm completely proud of my relationship but I can't be bothered trying to explain or justify it to people who think it's crazy to be in love with someone you can hardly see, so it makes me reluctant to let people know.
I haven't told my family, but I'm pretty sure one of my sisters has figured it out. I'm planning on telling my mum somewhere in the near future but really I don't even know how I would begin to bring it up or how she would take it.

[ginaxnj]

I still am kind of keeping it a secret from my family. My friends know and don't really know how I have lasted this long in one. They aren't very supportive. My dad's the only one that knows somewhat about him and thinks its not going to work out but he doesn't know the extent to how much I love him and want to be with him. My mother wouldn't approve at all about me dating him, especially the fact that I never met him in person and that in her eyes its not going to work out because of how far away he is. I've told my Mom how much I want to take a trip to San Francisco, California. (my SO lives near there) She tells me that its such a boring place, if she only knew that it would never be boring for me. I never really had to break it to my friends since they pretty much knew about him already. Even before we started going out I would talk about him. The only person that knows me and my SO's history and understands why I am in this for the long haul is my best friend. She met her now husband on myspace and was in a LDR for over a year because her husband was overseas. Now as to my Dad, I slowly started talking about this guy I met online from California. He doesn't think that long distance relationships will ever work and obviously don't agree with him.

[Swederica]

Hehe i have a similar story as you do Andy.
(even tho it was some decent amount of months since you started this thread )

I had gotten appecndicits, seemingly out of nowhere.
And it too was an routine operation, but i managed to smuggle my cell and charger with me and did nothing else the whole stay then to text her.
Ofc i run out of money and needed more so i asked my mom to refill it specially, so it costs less to text and call to foreign countries and she couldn't for her life figure out why i wanted that.
And overall i managed to cover why i bought a webcam suddenly and alot of other stuff :P i don't even remember how i managed to do all that.
But yeah now it's not needed.

[folclor]

lol, well, now I can change my answer. ^^; Alex and I aren't completely official yet. He's still flip-flopping on that, which I understand from his prospective. However, we're pretty much official. And my mom asked me while I was up there. ^^;; She made me call her everyday and one day she goes, "Is Alex your boyfriend yet?" lol My family knows that he took me out on a date and that he kissed me, they're happy about it. His family is happy about him finding someone, methinks.

[xsomanymilesx]

i'm still keeping it a secret
most of my friends know but my parents dont know yet. none of my family do.
i'm planning on telling them in the next couple of months - before he comes here in october.
im sooooo nervous at how they will react thoughh

[totalspiffage]

Ha. I just saw this thread. My relationship is no secret to my friends. And I even told my mum, who lives in the UK. She's great about it. My dad doesn't believe in love at all. So I won't tell him. And my grandma's religious... which isn't that great cause he's muslim and I'm atheist. So they don't know. He came to visit last fall and I managed to get around them and my SO still got to meet my friends.

But I'm reluctant to tell anyone about my relationship to begin with anyway, just because it's difficult to explain. People don't take it seriously, especially my other friends who have boyfriends/girlfriends locally. It's stupid, but I downplay it all.

[Skya]

thanks for thread!
I thought its just me keeping LDR a bit in a closet
Actually all my family knows and are quite supportive, but I keep it in closet at workplace. I work in very nice place where most people are friends so in case of local relationships I would have told and would have brought my bf to corporate events. But with LDR and my decision to move with him in some time seriously endangers not my career (that i dont care a lot about, I will make a 180 degrees turn profesionaly anyway) but employment per se... with firing axe due to crisis swinging in full force, I cannot afford to be *soon she will leave anyway, lets fire her!*

[Fearlesslover]

Its a complicated situation for us,his parents are supportive but mine arn't.Yah drama!
If i don't keep my relationship a secret my parents will separate us.
Reson why our cultures clash and my parents won't accept him
We have plans to get past all this madness

[angel85]

I'am still in away with a secret . My mom in away knows and my sister knows . His part of family knows . All I know I can't keep it like this long because its getting hard to hide . He is willing to speak to my parents . My parents are not with me right now . They are in the same country and I met him because of my parents . We have met in person . I just its not hard on my father meaning he will be surprise . This all is making me nervous . I know love is not a sin . Sometimes not everyone understands .

[solleftea]

I guess it was a secret until he came here for the first time and we met. I told my parents he was just a friend but I'm sure they didn't believe me they're not that stupid. :P A lot of people still don't know after all this time or just refuse to believe we are in a real relationship because we met online and hardly ever see each other.

[Dauntedpoet]

I guess it was a secret until he came here for the first time and we met. I told my parents he was just a friend but I'm sure they didn't believe me they're not that stupid. :P A lot of people still don't know after all this time or just refuse to believe we are in a real relationship because we met online and hardly ever see each other.

Don't let it get to you hon. My only family is my brother and his family, and they won't listen to or ask about Ian at all, as if he doesn't exist. They refuse to accept our unorthodox relationship, even though they met him for the first time 9 years ago and he has been here repeatedly, I text him constantly, and pass on his regards to them, but unless he is here in person, to them he doesn't exist. Some people just can't believe love can be this profound and enduring.

I've never kept Ian a secret, but he is treated as though he doesn't exist by everyone but my son and a few close friends.

Everyone there knows me as Ian's best friend, but only recently have his folks started to understand our relationship isn't just going to go away. LOL!