Hi all, first time using this forum although it’s kinda late to mend things. My ex and I are the same age and we met online through mutual friends the summer of 2017. We started talking daily and by Dec 2017, we knew we had feelings for each other. We started ldr as we are a few states over from each other and agreed that we could make ldr work since we’ve previously experienced ldr before. The solution to our ldr was for him to come to my state for med school. After undergrad, he wanted to take a gap year. So be it, but the next year, he didn’t apply to any schools because his mcat score was lower than he had expected. In late 2019, he finally applied to schools but very late because he didn’t get his mcat score back yet (and med schools accept on a rolling basis). Now he has one school in my state that waitlisted him.
It’s been about 2.5 years and I honestly thought he’d be in med school sooner. I wasn’t sure if my parents would allow me to move out of state after his med school and I was expecting to have kids around 30. He keeps telling me he doesnt want me to have my hopes high for the med school to take him off the waitlist. Along with our supposed differences in life plans, I decided to ask for a breakup after a small argument. At the time I thought it’d be best to ask for a break up through an argument, rather than when the time came for us to part ways when we’re both still very in love. It was a really dumb decision because I still really love him and it hurts to know that we won’t be part of each other’s lives.
A week later, I told my mom about the break up and spoke to her about our differences in life plans and she told me to do what I think is best for the relationship. There’s no ticking time bomb that controls me, and she didn’t expect me to stay in my state forever. I was thrilled to hear that. I told him that I can wait another year to see if he’ll get into a med school in my state. He told me we should take a 2 weeks break to clear our minds and reflect on what we really want.
2 weeks of no contact (pure torture) later, we had a convo about our reflection. I still wanted the same thing but he said that things have changed since the breakup and that he doesn’t really feel motivated to get into a med school in my state anymore. And he doesn’t know if he’ll be financially stable enough to move next year. I was torn, and still am. The only way we could possibly end up together again is if he gets taken off the waitlist this year but he doesn’t want me to be hopeful. He said he’d rather save us from more sadness and anxiety for the future and just get it over with now and reassured me that distance is the only reason for the break up, nothing else.
Along with this whole coronavirus quarantine, I feel so depressed, I don’t have an appetite, and I can feel myself losing weight over this breakup. I have nowhere to go to for distractions and my family is constantly home now so I can’t even cry out my heart. Doesn’t help that I share a room... I just feel so hopeless, empty, and tired. I go into the bathroom and cry silently every day and night.
Before the 2-week break, he opened up the idea of being friends during the time of quarantine because he knows it’s tough on me to be alone. I was reluctant but decided to give it a try, but it was just so painful for me to be just friends. I am not sure which is more painful, but I really feel so helpless right now that I crave the idea of being friends with him again during quarantine. I know, it’s terrible because I still love him so much, but it’s just so unbearably lonely and depressing during this time and I can’t even distract myself. Please let me know what you guys think about our relationship/if you relate to my story/if I should stay friends or not.
tl;dr My ex and I broke up amicably due to long distance not working out but I am not sure if I should stay friends just during quarantine to keep myself sane.
It’s been about 2.5 years and I honestly thought he’d be in med school sooner. I wasn’t sure if my parents would allow me to move out of state after his med school and I was expecting to have kids around 30. He keeps telling me he doesnt want me to have my hopes high for the med school to take him off the waitlist. Along with our supposed differences in life plans, I decided to ask for a breakup after a small argument. At the time I thought it’d be best to ask for a break up through an argument, rather than when the time came for us to part ways when we’re both still very in love. It was a really dumb decision because I still really love him and it hurts to know that we won’t be part of each other’s lives.
A week later, I told my mom about the break up and spoke to her about our differences in life plans and she told me to do what I think is best for the relationship. There’s no ticking time bomb that controls me, and she didn’t expect me to stay in my state forever. I was thrilled to hear that. I told him that I can wait another year to see if he’ll get into a med school in my state. He told me we should take a 2 weeks break to clear our minds and reflect on what we really want.
2 weeks of no contact (pure torture) later, we had a convo about our reflection. I still wanted the same thing but he said that things have changed since the breakup and that he doesn’t really feel motivated to get into a med school in my state anymore. And he doesn’t know if he’ll be financially stable enough to move next year. I was torn, and still am. The only way we could possibly end up together again is if he gets taken off the waitlist this year but he doesn’t want me to be hopeful. He said he’d rather save us from more sadness and anxiety for the future and just get it over with now and reassured me that distance is the only reason for the break up, nothing else.
Along with this whole coronavirus quarantine, I feel so depressed, I don’t have an appetite, and I can feel myself losing weight over this breakup. I have nowhere to go to for distractions and my family is constantly home now so I can’t even cry out my heart. Doesn’t help that I share a room... I just feel so hopeless, empty, and tired. I go into the bathroom and cry silently every day and night.
Before the 2-week break, he opened up the idea of being friends during the time of quarantine because he knows it’s tough on me to be alone. I was reluctant but decided to give it a try, but it was just so painful for me to be just friends. I am not sure which is more painful, but I really feel so helpless right now that I crave the idea of being friends with him again during quarantine. I know, it’s terrible because I still love him so much, but it’s just so unbearably lonely and depressing during this time and I can’t even distract myself. Please let me know what you guys think about our relationship/if you relate to my story/if I should stay friends or not.
tl;dr My ex and I broke up amicably due to long distance not working out but I am not sure if I should stay friends just during quarantine to keep myself sane.
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