Deal breakers in your relationship?

[Caitlin2009]

Dishonesty, because I simply can't handle that.
Smoking, especially if they had no intent to give up. Drugs are in there too, excessive consumption of alcohol. ("excessive" to me is like more than three standard drinks in a normal week. So, "regular" consumption I guess lol) All this to me falls under "Inability to look after oneself", I quickly learnt that I don't want a man who can't or wont take proper care for himself. Excessive weight gain is also in there for that reason.
Not wanting children is also a deal breaker for me, as would be joining the military. I respect people who do, don't get me wrong, but I wouldn't be in a relationship with that person.
I also will not date a Christian (or people of other Abrahamic faiths). Again, no offense intended. I love all my Christian friends, I just don't want my children raised with a lot of those values.
And they need good personal hygiene!

I sound like a horribly picky person now

your not horribly picky, i wouldnt wanna date someone in the military either i mean i applaud those who do because it take a special person to deal with the fact that you may not see your SO for months possibly years at a time and dont know when they'll contact you but i couldnt do that, im already a worrywart and having them be in a war torn area oh god i couldnt handle that, the stress alone would kill me! As for religion wise, i couldnt handle being with a person if they were a jehovah's witness O_o my mom is one and just nooooooo!! anybody that over does it with religion. no thank you!

[NikkiP]

Sorry to hear that Nikki

Another deal-breaker for me: I'll never be anyone's "everything". That's not healthy, and it also puts way too much strain on a relationship. I've been with guys in the past who would focus on me 100% and not on themselves, and the expectation was that we'd spend literally ALL our free time together. A guy has got to understand that quality time spent apart is just as important as time spent together. You've got to take care of yourself and have balance in your own life first, before you're ready to successfully share that life with another!

Thanks!

And good call! My ex is my ex because of what you said... He actually told our therapist that he could not understand why I felt that I needed relationships outside of the one that he and I shared! *falls over* Even after she told him that he was wrong it didn't seem to make a difference. He started letting me do more things, but he always made me feel guilty about it!

[Erika]

- Excessive drinking. I'm not a fan of drinking at all, but I don't mind if my boyfriend has a drink or too. I hate it though when he goes out and gets drunk. Blah.
- Smoking and drugs.
- Some one who does not want kids. Having kids (either natural or adopted) is very important to me, so yeah.
- Some one who is not accepting of others differences. My brother is Autistic. I would not be able to be with somebody who wasn't accepting of him even if he is different then normal.
- Not brushing your teeth often.

[Rosebud]

Aside from the usual cheating/being unfaithful here's a few I can think up off the top of my head.

-Non-monogamous. While for me I lump this in the 'cheating' section I know for some individuals they feel it's perfectly fine to be with more than one partner at a time (and their other partners are perfectly fine with this as well). But no. Nope. Nu uh. Never gonna work.

-Wants to change my physical appearance. There are already a laundry list of things I would like to physically alter about myself and I go through enough grief dealing with this on a daily basis. And while I've read enough accounts of partners being 'helpful' with their SO to lose weight or give make-up 'tips' or whatever I don't care. I don't need it.

-Hardcore drugs. Pretty explainable on itself.

-Ignores me. This is a biggy. What I love about my boyfriend is that he's very intuitive to how I'm feeling and is certain to take care of me in that I don't feel left in the cold. Being unable to have time to talk is very different from choosing not to talk so even when our time is limited I still do not feel ignored. I don't think I could ever be with someone who just assumes I can go days without communicating (even if it's not to intentionally ignore me). I know lots of people can and are perfectly content, but I am not one of those people.

-Likes to debate. I used to 'date' this boy who wanted to debate about EVERYthing, though it almost always centered around religion and politics. No. I am not nearly so serious.

-Does not have some type of Christian faith. I don't need some hardcore Bible-preaching maniac, but I do feel having similar views on religion is important. I believe in God in the simplest of terms. I'm glad my boyfriend does as well.

[LadyMarchHare]

Aside from the usual cheating/being unfaithful here's a few I can think up off the top of my head.

-Non-monogamous. While for me I lump this in the 'cheating' section I know for some individuals they feel it's perfectly fine to be with more than one partner at a time (and their other partners are perfectly fine with this as well). But no. Nope. Nu uh. Never gonna work.

-Wants to change my physical appearance. There are already a laundry list of things I would like to physically alter about myself and I go through enough grief dealing with this on a daily basis. And while I've read enough accounts of partners being 'helpful' with their SO to lose weight or give make-up 'tips' or whatever I don't care. I don't need it.

YES. These too. I don't know how anyone can stand relationships where it's 3 or 4 people. Maybe if you loved all the people involved but still there's playing favorites and so on and that's just very dumb to me. Never will I share what I marked as mine, to hell with 'sharing is caring'! And I want to add on to the changing appearance by mentioning changing personality/who you are for them. They're supposed to love you as-is, not play Barbershop and so on with you like you're a standard computer they need to customize to fit their needs.