Weight loss...

Tell him those things!! Tell him he is handsome, and that you are attracted to him and love him. Him hearing that will make him feel so good about himself, and want him to better his health for you. And maybe instead of saying things to lose weight, just say things that will get him to be more healthy and active. You can be healthy and over weight. There's also so many people that are thin and unhealthy. So just encourage him to better his health, not necessarily lose weight, and maybe over time he will actually end up losing weight too on top of just being a healthier person!

i guess i do nag him about it whenever we talk about weight loss but tbh, i try to never talk about it because i know he's going to feel upset so like i really try not to do so. But like i said, the upcoming wedding is putting preassure for him to lose weight. I told him a long time ago that i wanted him to lose weight for the wedding (like almost a year ago) but i havent said a single thing about it since then. But now every1 is trying to make him lose weight which prompted this argument we had this morning.

He is genetically predisposed to his weight, he has always been as overweight as he is, but its definitely not healthy for him and even when i say that it really doesnt matter to him because i messed up early in our relationship when i first realized his weight. He immediatly knew i wasnt happy about it.

And i guess i do sound harsh saying he's not perfect.. but i didnt mean it like that, more as in, he's like the guy every girl would dream of except that we all dream of a sexy guy not an overweight one..... im obviously really bad at talking about this ><

I really cannot imagine my life without him...


he's incredibly handsome but ppl dont notice that because of his weight, so like i try to tell him that he is handsome and everything but that fuck up early on in our relationship kinda discredits my beliefs..


The important thing here, is that i want him to be happy. He's not happy with his weight, and i know that. I make it even worse by letting him know im not happy either. And every1 else puts the same preassure on him. So obviously thats really bad. I just wish i knew how i could make it all better for him

I think you need to accept him for who is is NOW. If he has been overweight most of his life its possible he maybe be genetically predisposed to his weight. It could also be emotional. I am sure your nagging him is not helping his self esteem and is doing the reverse in giving him motivation to lose weight. To say his weight is keeping him from being perfect really bothers me, I think you need to stop being shallow and just love him how he is.

Perfectly Said

Losing weight isn't easy. I think you need to positively help him with this goal of getting in shape. But bottom line, if he isn't ready to lose weight, he's not going to lose weight. You just need to be there for him as his girlfriend, telling him that you wouldn't have talked to him in person isn't going to make him feel good, that's just going to make him feel worse and crappy about himself. Trust me I know from experience, people nagging you to lose weight and always bringing up your weight just makes you not want to lose weight, but when people are encouraging you saying you can do it, and saying things like "You attract me now so much, I just want you to feel better about your body", those are the things that get people pumped to lose weight, not telling them they would never talk to them if you met in person.

[snow_girl]

I think you need to accept him for who is is NOW. If he has been overweight most of his life its possible he maybe be genetically predisposed to his weight. It could also be emotional. I am sure your nagging him is not helping his self esteem and is doing the reverse in giving him motivation to lose weight. To say his weight is keeping him from being perfect really bothers me, I think you need to stop being shallow and just love him how he is.

[Deleted Account]

Thats a huge issue in my relationship. my bf is overweight. And I love him very much but i dont like him being overweight and i know that he knows how i feel about it. He knows that if we hadnt met online first, i wouldnt have given him the time of the day because of his weight (which makes me feel like a shallow bitch... but thats the truth)

its a really touchy subject for him, so whenever any1 talks to him about him needing to lose weight etc, he immediatly reacts in an evasive sort of way and starts feeling dissapointed but honestly never really does anything to remedy it. I know i cant force him to lose weight, and that all the motivation has to come from him, but i wonder if any1 has a similar issue and knows how to deal with this kinds of situations cuz i obviously dont. And all im doing is make it even worse every time.

besides, being in a long distance relationship, i really cant do anything, like go with him to the gym, and make him come work out with me. niether can i be there to make sure all that he eats is healthy etc.

But we're gonna get married soon.. so there's a LOT of preassure on him lately to lose weight for the wedding. And we had a huge argument this morning because of it. So thats not good because now i really said a few things that i honestly shouldnt have said... >< but i feel like i am at loss for words. I dont know what to do.

He's a wonderful guy... the only problem that keeps him from being perfect is his weight. I wouldn't mind if he was just a little overweight.. but he's just seriously overweight, and even tho he knows it, it puts blocks in our relationship because we cannot do several things because his weight gets in the way and if not that then his self consciousness about his weight.

thoughts?