Promise rings :)

[lucybelle]

No promise ring. And I don't really want one. I already have tons of rings. And I can't wear them much here. People get robbed for that kind of stuff

[iloveacarpenter]

That's a beautiful ring! I love my promise ring. My SO gave me mine for Christmas last year, and it is such a beautiful reminder of what we both are working towards. Also, I wear mine on my left ring finger. I wore my purity ring there first, now I wear my promise ring. When I get an engagement ring to replace it, I will switch it to my right ring finger.

[Dziubka]

See, Rosebud, that is much better. Like Moon said the other day in some other thread, I can totally see how people can easly be hurt by what you say.
If you had said from the beginning that you don't like thoughtless rings that are bought on a whim, which is obviously more often the case with cheap rings (as most people can't afford buying expensive rings thoughtlessly), that would have been clearer and I can't imagine anyone would be offended by it

I agree with you in the sense that I want(ed) something that my boyfriend had put thought into. Something that shows that he knows me and my style. I don't care if the ring was €0.50 or €50,000, as long as I can see that he picked it out carefully and thoughtfully.

For our 1st anniversary my boyfriend gave me a ring that I absolutely love (I've already posted pics of it somewhere on here). I don't know if it's a promise ring (because... I wasn't even familiar with that concept until I came across it on here), but it's a cute reminder that he loves me


@littlethinktank, your ring is soo pretty and I love the long-distance symbolism!

[heylittlekrissy]

My ex husband proposed marriage with a ring from a freaking arcade. As in, he traded in the tickets he won playing skee ball and such. I didn't take it off until we upgraded to an actual diamond years later. It was special. A bread twist tie can be special if the intent behind it is sincere and maybe the only option a guy has - yet he wants his girl (her girl, his guy, whatever) to feel special, know they are loved. If that is what they can manage, most people would treasure it.

Completely agree with you on this one. I know my SO has actually put down money on a rather expensive ring (which I've told him is way too much money for him to spend on me lol), and while I'm sure I'll absolutely adore it once I get it from him because it's from him and has so much meaning behind it, I would be fine with something inexpensive also. It's the sentimental value that I'd appreciate most, not the retail value

[Malaga]

I think it's an American thing. I haven't heard about promise rings from anyone in Europe. But it's a lovely idea

[SDPersona]

While it is a lovely idea, I don't care for promise rings. That's mainly because I grew up in Europe where the idea of a promise ring is foreign concept around these parts and I rather prefer engagement rings. That screams your intentions loudly enough! I do wonder how that came about in America - anyone wants to enlighten me?

[Dziubka]

I think it sort of came up because couples wanted to show their commitment to each other, but weren't old enough/ready to actually get engaged yet.

When my best friend asked whether my ring was an engagement ring, my boyfriend told her that it was a pre-engagement ring. So that's probably what it comes down to with promise rings... which means I probably have one

[littlethinktank]

@littlethinktank, your ring is soo pretty and I love the long-distance symbolism!

Thank you

[floridaellen]

I think it sort of came up because couples wanted to show their commitment to each other, but weren't old enough/ready to actually get engaged yet.

That's what me and my SO are doing. We're too young to actually get engaged (18 years old) but we want to show a committment to each other. Plus it's a lot easier on my college campus when guys hit on me to be like "see my finger? yeahh we're just gonna be friends" haha. But really it's a personal decision and I can completely understand why people dislike them.

[garnet]

Well I didn't mean anything by it. What I meant, as I explained it to my boyfriend, is that I get in quite a few guys who come into my store, quickly scan over the rings, pick out one and if it's the right size then that's that. There's no thought behind it. No comparing rings or decisions to be made. It's just in-out-done. And I have a feeling this is done BECAUSE we sell cheaper rings that guys can just pay for right then and there. And that? Yeah, it doesn't feel special. Instead, it feels like a duty. Like a man (or woman if that be the case) is buying such a glitzy ring as a duty, like it's an afterthought because their girlfriend back home has been asking and he wants her to be quiet.

I certainly don't sit around scrutinizing or even caring what rings other people wear and once again, for the millionth, billionth, trillionth time, I didn't post this with the intent to hurt anyone's feelings or put down folks with cheaper rings as I hope this clarified as to why I just personally would not want a ring from the type of place I work at. Every time I look at it I'd be reminded of WORK and how often so very little thought is put behind the purchase of those types of rings. Maybe it's wrong of me equate thought=price, but I'm basing this off my personal experience that with a slew of glittery, pretty yet cheaper rings more often than not they are bought on a whim (especially those last minute Valentine Day-ers, gotta love em) and as an act of responsibility, not love.

Edit: and just to clarify, I don't personally believe more expensive=always better either. I likewise get in a lot of women looking for a cheaper ring so they can wear it on a daily basis as they're too afraid of losing their 18k, diamond, etc. etc. ring, in which case I also make a mental note that this is not the situation I would like to place myself in. To be too afraid of losing such an expensive ring that it sits at home constantly is odd to me, especially as we're not exactly rolling in the dough. I have explained to my boyfriend that I'm not asking for a $2,000 ring as like those other women I would be too nervous to wear it and in that case what's the point? A ring is a physical symbol of your love and commitment to one another and its primary purpose is to show that status-if I wouldn't wear it for fear of breakage or loss I would prefer not to have one. For us, the $100 ballpark is pricey and I'm fine with that (and refrained from mentioning someone else's post that directly implied that a $150 ring was "cheap" even though it pretty much also struck a nerve that any ring my boyfriend might get me would be seen as low quality).

Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post. This makes a great deal of sense to me, and I can see more of where you're coming from. I agree with you. I think it was the use of the word "cheap" that threw me. What I took from your first post was the impression that you thought an inexpensive ring was not special. I now I understand what you actually meant. It's more about the buyer caring, taking time, finding exactly the right piece. Cost, irrelevant.

IMO, no matter the price tag, any ring can be beautiful, especially to the owner. Cheap and expensive are very subjective words. It sounds like for you (and for me too), the value of the ring comes from the giver, and the sentiment behind it.

A friend of mine has a rock about the size of her knuckle (that her MIL paid for... ). I could have bought a car. A new car. She and I had long discussions about this. Her boyfriend didn't have a job. I was like, wouldn't you prefer he take a job as a grocery store clerk, a dog walker, whatever is out there, make some honest money, and buy you a modest but lovely ring? For her, the answer was no. That is where she and I differ. For me, my rings have been special because they were worked hard for, or just because of the love behind them (clearly my arcade ring didn't have much financial value haha). But everyone has their own feelings on it, and to each their own.

Again, thank you for the clarification. And if you get one, $100 or $1k, I am certain it will be lovely all the same.

[Minerva]

I think I'd like one, for a couple of reasons. One, my SO is separated from his wife, and if I understand the laws of the UK correctly, he cannot get a divorce until he's been separated for 2 years. To get an engagement ring from a married man sort of spoils the fairytale, lol. And honestly, I'm not all that interested in getting married, but I'd like a ring to symbolize our commitment. He has a leather cuff I bought him that he wears every day, and I wish I had something to wear every day. A promise ring would be perfect for that.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

I'm DYING to have one! My SO is kinda clueless in the romance department lol. My brother is getting his LD girlfriend one for their 1 year anniversary and I'm so jealous lol. I'm going to talk to my SO in person when I go visit and tell him about my brother's promise ring. Maybe then he'll take the hint. I really want a ring more than anything and was hoping for one for our anniversary. I got a beautiful pair of earrings instead. I wear my high school ring on my left ring finger and have since we began dating, but it's not the same or as symbolic as a promise ring, so I really hope he gets me one at some point in the semi-near future.

[AshleyNicolle]

Ooh! This is so nice because my SO and I have something similar to this. It's not exactly a promise ring but more of a tradition in Brazil. My SO is from Brazil, so I thought it was really cute he wanted to do this with me. When two people are dating and they want to show it's more serious, and they're ready to go beyond dating to something more, the couple can purchase silver rings to wear on their right ring finger. They're called "Alianças de prata" in Brazil, sooo if you go to Brazil you'll notice some of the younger generation wearing silver rings on their right hands. I really love the idea, even if it has no traditional meaning in my country, it was really nice of him to share it with me !

[cybunny]

It is a nice concept, but I want the real deal lol not just a promise, and I would prefer the extra funds saved for the big one. With that said in our 4 years of a ld relationship my SO has bought me 2 rings, well one was a ring and a necklace combo which was a birthday prezzy,and the other was his first x mas gift to me.

[Engel]

A friend of mine has a rock about the size of her knuckle (that her MIL paid for... ). I could have bought a car. A new car. She and I had long discussions about this. Her boyfriend didn't have a job. I was like, wouldn't you prefer he take a job as a grocery store clerk, a dog walker, whatever is out there, make some honest money, and buy you a modest but lovely ring? For her, the answer was no. That is where she and I differ. For me, my rings have been special because they were worked hard for, or just because of the love behind them (clearly my arcade ring didn't have much financial value haha). But everyone has their own feelings on it, and to each their own.

WOW. like, wow. i would not want a ring my sos mom needs to pay for. it would be something if it was a family heirlon (i dont know if i wrote it right, like a ring that is passed through generations), but if thats not the case, i want something he worked to give to me, no matter if 50 euros, or 500. it would be him giving it to me, and i know he would try to choose something i like.


as for promise rings, i dont like the idea of them too much, and i dont like the idea of really long engagements either, where people think the next step for a relationship is to get engaged, to make it more serious. nothing against someone who does it, is just i would not do it myself. getting engaged is just o get married in less than one year after in my opinion.