More frequent or longer in duration?

[Snap]

Which would you rather have...

1) More frequent visits but shorter duration. For example, once a month but only for a weekend.

or

2) Less frequent visits but the visits are longer in duration. For example, twice a year with 2 weeks each.

For myself, I'd rather have #1. One of the few things that keeps me sane in this LDR is always having a visit date in the near future. Waiting 6 months until my next visit would be grueling, but knowing that I'll get to see him in a couple of weeks keeps me optimistic about things. But, it is disappointing knowing that I'll be alone again in only 2 days when the weekend is over. It would be nice to spend a longer duration with him.

What are your thoughts?

Please don't post anything like "So-and-so gets to see their SO once a month; I only get to see mine once a year; they have it so much easier." Distance is distance and it's painful no matter what.

[jlb14]

Thank you for posting the idea that distance is distance and no matter what it's painful. I know I am lucky to see my SO every other weekend but it doesn't mean I don't cry my eyes out every time he leaves.

I would rather have #1 for a lot of the same reason you have. I am the type of person that needs to look forward to something soon. That's how I stay motivated to get things done through out the week.

[Jgui]

i would rather have option #1 where i can see my SO every weekend. I do see my SO once a week at least but that doesn't make each departure easier... if anything i feel it's making it harder because the more i spend time with him the more i want to stay with him... i really wish we can close the distance but i know that wouldn't happen any time soon in the near future.

the weekly visit definitely keeps on motivate and something to look forward to when im having a rough day.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

Option 1 for sure. It's the only thing keeping me sane in the relationship lol. Knowing when I get to see him next. I think the longest in between visits was about 3 months, and that was torture. So, I'd rather see him more frequently for shorter amounts of time. Even though goodbyes are hard, I only get to spend at most 5 days when I go visit him. When he comes home for breaks, it can range from a week to 3 weeks or so at a time, so I'm used to the relatively short visits.

[Haley53]

I was going to choose option #2, perhaps because it's all I've ever known, but then read "two weeks." If it was only for a couple weeks at a time, I think I'd rather have the more frequent but shorter visits option presented with #1. If I got to see my partner 2-3 times a year for a month at a time, however, then I'd be more inclined to choose longer wait periods for longer durations. But for me, I don't think I could only do two weeks per visit if it were only a couple times a year.

EDIT -- Also, if we're allowed to set our own time durations and what you provided us with were loose examples, I would choose fewer visits but longer duration.

[Minerva]

=(

My last visit with my SO was only 4 days. This next visit will be just a week. There have been 5 months between these two visits. If we're lucky, I'll be able to see him for a week in March; if not, it'll be a week next June.

I'd kill for either option. Sorry, I know that's a non-answer, but I'm kind of in an "F this damn distance" mood right now. :/

[Mara]

*hugs Minerva*

Hmm...idk. I suppose I can tolerate things how they are now best [which us seeing each other once every couple of months or so]. I don't think necessarily having longer visits is 'better'. Especially not if it's at the cost of waiting more time.

[CanadianGirl]

Option 1 would be wonderful, but unless one of us acquires a private jet sometime in the near future...not possible. I crave his touch so badly, it would make the seperation a little less painful to know we'll be together sooner.

Option 2 is much more feasible, but not as thrilling. It does help to work out the real issues in a relationship, since it's pretty easy to be on your "bestest" behaivour for a couple days. I lived with him for a month this summer and it was really good. Lots of sweet moments and we learned a lot about each other (and how to live together). Found that I didn't miss him quite as hard when I left (as opposed to leaving him after a 1-2 week stay). It was more satisfying. ..The sudden nights alone were harder, but the days, for the most part, were easier.

Overall, I think I'd actually choose option 2. I think the pay off might be better and I might just be a bit of a masochist.. It's all I'll ever know as well.

[Bethypoo]

Defiantly number one. I think that it is less painful. Because if you know you see them the next month it is alot easier than knowing you did everything at once and now have to wait half a year. IDK personally I chose more frequently and shorter.

[kiara_silver]

I would choose option two if it was a bit longer then 2 weeks. Say a month? otherwise yeah option one for sure. It would make things so much bearable. To be able to know that i'd get to see him at the end of the long month, but both options are hard. It's not nearly enough time.

[Madge]

I would go with option 2 but make it longer than 2 weeks!

[FadedSunrise]

=(

My last visit with my SO was only 4 days. This next visit will be just a week. There have been 5 months between these two visits. If we're lucky, I'll be able to see him for a week in March; if not, it'll be a week next June.

I'd kill for either option. Sorry, I know that's a non-answer, but I'm kind of in an "F this damn distance" mood right now. :/

QFT. I'd kill for either option as well. The last time we saw each other was 10 months ago, and at best the next time will be in 8 months. At worst, never, and we will choose to breakup because that does not make a relationship. We are international and I am a financially dependent college student/to be grad student, and he has not been working for enough time for him to amass the enormous sums of money it would take( 6 Chinese yuan to 1 USD, so he's have to earn save thousands extra just for one trip).

[Snap]

The only reason why I picked those particular time courses is because they are almost equal in the total amount of days. Option 1 is a total of 24 and option 2 is 28. I wanted all of the variables at least almost equal except for duration and frequency. If #2 had 2 visits in a year with 1 month each, then that drastically changes things. 24 days vs 60 days. Of course, if I had things my way, we would just have 1 visit but it would be an infinite number of days long

[Engel]

I would vhoose first option. I dont think I can do the long time appart anymore. not after having lived with him. if we werent going to get married now, and had to go through months and months without seeing each other, without any idea when to close the distance, i would be done with that. it drains me emotionally. but now I think: one more month, and Im there forever. Is what keeps me going, because most of the days im really really down about the distance we are in at this exact moment.

[MadMolly]

With my ex, I saw him for about 3 days every 2 months or so and that was pretty cool. Right now, I'm on a 6 month stretch, but our first visit is going to be our only visit. After doing long distance for 2 years with my ex, I'm not at all in the mood to try it again, so our second "visit" will be me moving there for a year or so. I'm lucky I'm in a position where I have a lot of savings and nothing really to tie me to this country.