Ok - no one even suggest that I am not in love with him and that I don't want to be with him. Because I do love him, and I do want to be with him. But I am at my freaking breaking point.
We never really talk. Ever. He's so busy with school I'm lucky if we talk on the phone for 30 minutes at night, and even then he's freaking half asleep and sort of not able to even have a normal conversation. I keep processing it in my head that I'm waiting seven freaking months to see him for 5 days. FIVE DAYS! It just doesn't seem fair and I really don't care if I sound like a whiner right now.
I have a medical condition called Hidradenitis Suppurativa that really gets me down sometimes, and it sucks that I am going through this alone. I can't even really talk to him about the HS cause he never knows what to say. I'm so lonely. I just want to be with my freaking boyfriend. But I can't even freaking talk to him.
Sometimes I wonder if things are really going to work out the way we've sort of planned that they will. Two years to be with him in real life possibly longer doesn't even feel realistic to me anymore. It doesn't even feel like an actual relationship sometimes. Like I'm dating my computer and not a person. Maybe it would be different if we could actually talk more but he wont stop being so busy any time soon.
I don't want the relationship to end, but I don't know how to improve it. I just don't know what to do to make this better.
We never really talk. Ever. He's so busy with school I'm lucky if we talk on the phone for 30 minutes at night, and even then he's freaking half asleep and sort of not able to even have a normal conversation. I keep processing it in my head that I'm waiting seven freaking months to see him for 5 days. FIVE DAYS! It just doesn't seem fair and I really don't care if I sound like a whiner right now.
I have a medical condition called Hidradenitis Suppurativa that really gets me down sometimes, and it sucks that I am going through this alone. I can't even really talk to him about the HS cause he never knows what to say. I'm so lonely. I just want to be with my freaking boyfriend. But I can't even freaking talk to him.
Sometimes I wonder if things are really going to work out the way we've sort of planned that they will. Two years to be with him in real life possibly longer doesn't even feel realistic to me anymore. It doesn't even feel like an actual relationship sometimes. Like I'm dating my computer and not a person. Maybe it would be different if we could actually talk more but he wont stop being so busy any time soon.
I don't want the relationship to end, but I don't know how to improve it. I just don't know what to do to make this better.
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