So he broke up with me... </3

[differentcountries]

I dont know why in some way I feel bad for him, it looks he is sad and lonely now and masking it with sex chatting.

You are a human being, you have empathy. Just remember that the kind thing to do even to him is to let the things he is doing have consequenses.

[silvermoonfairy3]

Completely agree with LadyDaemon, as usual.

You're seeing him as sad and lonely and masking it with sex chat, so you feel bad because you don't want him to be sad/lonely and have to cover it up. The thing is, you're reading into it that he's sad and lonely, when from everything you've said, he just sounds like a chauvinistic jerk.

If he messages you, don't answer. Seriously. You say you're not playing into his games, but ANY response is, because ANY response (even a negative one from you telling him off) feeds his ego and makes him keep contacting.

You cannot be friends with this guy any time soon, because he is not willing to be a friend. So don't contact him and don't let him contact you.

[jess_mp]

I just would like to ask the owner of this treat what the heck is this link ?? Does it really work to make money???? or you just want us to get viruses in our computers.

Ways for LDR couples, to make A bit of EXTRA CASH --->> https://j.gs/1FGq and (even better faster one) --->> https://j.gs/32Kj


I think a looooooooot of people already told you to MOVE ON and GET OVER your ex, but it seems you're just being immature, and clingy, sorry if this is rude. But how old are you? 15???
I think any normal person would just get over a relationship that caused so much harm, but it seems you don't appreciate yourself enough to heal and enjoy your life without your unworthy ex! wake up, it's a new year!!!! set new goals, achieve them!!! Wish you well.

[differentcountries]

If he is as commitmentphobic as he sounds, he may very well be genuinely sad, however that is not likely to motivate him to change or be a loving friend towards you. He cannot offer you anything at this point. I used years just to consider staying in touch with my ex. In the meantime i made a life for myself where contact or no contact did not matter. I had to do a lot of greifing and forgiving. After some years, my ex took a different grip of life and is now a much more pleasant person. But that took me 5 years, and getting married to someone else. Dont help you ex continue his strange obsession.

[innocentbutterfly]

@jess that link is real. it works, but needs time and some initial fund to invest.

however back to topic, I am not trying to get him back. In those 2 weeks of talking to him again after 1 month of breakup wth NC, I learned so much new about him, stuff I didnt like mostly. And with clear head I didnt justify those things anymore. I dont think he's a monster, but I think he has to grow up and find himself really and set some goals and what he wants in life. I never wanted to admit this when I was with him, but now I see all that and it's much clearer looking from the outside and all the advices I read here are adding up to that. The only thing I'm trying is to stay friends. I dont know why, in some way he was a good listener, as a friend and seeing him miserable as he is now...I don't know I feel kind of a pity and saddness for that, as a friend.

In the meantime i made a life for myself where contact or no contact did not matter

that is what I'm doing. I met some new people, some are nice. A guy from same place as him is really nice having a lot of similarities with me, common things, but I'm not trying and hoping anything yet. Baby steps.

Just tonight we talked with ex a bit about that breakup time and I figured some stuff he left me for he was thinking it wrong and a lot worse. He may have noticed it too. And covered it, usual for him. Then he wanted to have sex chat. For the gazillionth time. He said we are friend now, you can be honest with me. I said I am and you should understand that we aren't friends with benefits and never will be. That part of my leftover feelings for you has nothing to do with it. It doesn't make me want to have sex with you, it doesn't make me desire you anymore. So he stopped. Then he said goodnight and sent me a kiss smiley. I dont know why. Probably because I said it would be our anniversary on that day and that I feel sad for him that he left me, but he isnt doing any better without me. Either way. I dont think he understood. He is a total sex chat maniac now. However, I know why I'm staying and it's never again to get back together. Because after everything, everything I found out new, if I wanted to try fixing it before all that is gone now and like I said there is this new guy that is really nice and there's a few others that I'm friends with.

[rubydissolution]

I personally wouldn't wanna be friends with someone who treated me like that. However, since you don't seem to care what we have to say on this matter I will offer you this. You have not been broken up long enough to pursue a friendship. It's been a month. You need a time where you don't talk or communicate with each other, time to heal and get over one another. OK you admit you don't want to get back with him and that's good, but you need a break from each other. I didn't speak to my ex for months before we even attempted to talk to one another and even now we don't talk all that often. I feel like that's how a LDR ex relationship friendship should be. What you are doing to yourself is unhealthy. Give yourself time to move on before you try for a friendship.

[completelyinlove]

Sometimes time apart helps. Me and my girlfriend broke up and didn't talk for a year and half. We eventually found each other again and we are stronger than ever.

[innocentbutterfly]

@ruby it's not that I don't care, I just wanna try. If it doesnt work okay too. I don't live for it. We were a month NC when he broke up with me, it was a hell for me then, but I don't feel that pain anymore. If any like I sad it's just a pity/sadness, for him.

@completelyinlove thats very good for you. But in my case its ireversible. Things he did, the way he treated me, I would never want this again and I know he wouldn't change in a romantic way, because that's just how he is. He said it himself.

[differentcountries]

If you remember your aniversaries, and feel like mentioning them to your ex... You are still playing out the relationship.

[innocentbutterfly]

I never thought of that... I just thought I remembered you know... and it's still fresh so my memories are still alive, it was just a memory. But I'll pay attention to it more then now

[innocentbutterfly]

lol guys, months later still this keeps continuing, get this:

Its been 3 months. He didnt change or something. Between us 'staying friends' there were gaps of 10, 15 days of chats which were always him somehow going into sex talk and reminiscing/remembering our times, wanting sex chats...even saying once we could still meet someday if I was around, just to have sex...he always said best part of our relationship was sex, virtual and real...

it was long distance relationship. 2 years. we met online and met in real once for 10 days. It was great, love all around, then before I left he said we should finish because of distance, then said how he didnt like my 'childish' behaviour,,,3 months later we talked sexual past and he found i was exchinaging nude pics with one of my ldr exes...moral that made him break up with me despite him getting my virginity etc(hes muslim and wanted me 'pure' and only for him - read my threads)

so why does he still think our fantasies? why do they still make him hot? he says he goes by a park and remembers it, but stops it to not get hard... why s he still thinking them, if he forgot me and doesnt love me anymore (he says that) he says we just lived crazy and good days and its normal he imagines them and that he likes the feeling when he does it...i try to keep my cool. I dont have any more hope left. I just want to know why? He obviously doesn't want to be with me together again (talked sth about fresh start once he said I see him as '****er' - his words and he sees me as his ex and that that is over)

...then a week later:

HE IS STILL DOING THIS. Last 3 days he is clicking and trying to get me have sex chat, implying it, telling me he knows what I like, saying he knows I want to do it, that he knows me how I am, when I say no, he says oh are you shy, don't be. Or Ah, I was just kidding. But still continues the subject. When I say go find cam girls and have those chats with them he says he can find a million if he want and that I am starting again. lol what am I starting? We can't fight anymore right, he always said that when we were together before we fought. He always clicks when he's in bed/has a free day.
If I say I dont want indirectly he says you gotta tell me that before I ask putting grinning smileys. But again still continues the subject.

What does he want, is he really so desperate?
And why is he saying if I'd try to be with one of his friends that he would be jealous/angry. Why would he still have ANY emotion concerning me? I find it hilarious. He knows I'm also talking with a new guy from his country as well and that we both like each other and it will probably be a LDR soon and he doesn't even think of that when he wants to start sex chats with me.
Tonight he saw there will be nothing and he spent replying 8 minutes and then just said Close the subject and 8 minutes later he wrote, I have to sleep, see u bye. LOL! like I didn't know he just went to masturbate because he was implying it already since yesterday and asked me if I did something and told me he didn't.

Then he just offed internet and vanished.

What is his problem, he is desperate or something? I'm seriously laughing everytime I see it. I don't have any love feeling left for him thanks to the new guy. He irritates me with those talks.

[Chlo]

Cut contact, simple.
This guy obviously only wants one thing, he's not worth your time.

[differentcountries]

I think part of you like this attention You encourage him to continue by being there as his wall to receive whatever he has to offer.

[innocentbutterfly]

but I reply like hours later sometimes. I dont want to have those talks with him. He still continues it. Why, And why telling me all those things about being angry, jealous? and remembering the fantasies? and him liking it? I just want to reply normal, as I wanted before. To stay friends. But I dont know what his agenda is.

[differentcountries]

His agenda is to be sexual with you online.