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    #16
    Originally posted by Xanahtas View Post
    When my SO was here one time, my dad said he was going outside for a fag. My SO (being canadian) looked so confused, and asked me about it afterwards, he never realised that its what we call cigarettes!

    To be honest, the word doesnt bother me. I never use it, and i rarely hear it.
    Oh yeah sorry I forgot to reward to 'fag' - but yeah I can imagine the look that would have been on everybody's faces!

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      #17
      Originally posted by Zephii View Post
      I don't use it, but it doesn't bother me when I hear it. It's the intent that I care about, not the actual word.
      Same. It bothers me when it's people like my father, who would use it with so much hatred and malice, you almost turned to stone hearing it.
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        #18
        The reason why a lot of us are particularly offended by this has to do with privilege. The overwhelming majority of us are straight women--there aren't many gay men on this site. I think it's a disgusting slur that nobody should use, but to be fair I feel the same way about the N word and girls calling their friends "bitches" and "hoes", even in jest. I can't police what other people say, of course, but I would never be friends with someone who thought saying 'faggot' in reference to another human being was ok.

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          #19
          I can't say I like the word and I personally do not use it but I do know people who use the word but they really don't mean it in BAD/hateful way.

          "True love isn't about being inseparable; it’s about two people being true to each other even when they are separated."
          Married April 18th, 2015!!
          Distance Closed October 4th, 2015!!

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            #20
            unless its used in context of a ciggerette(thats what they call them here sometimes) i dont like the word, i think its mean and hateful and frankly its as bad as the N word.

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              #21
              Originally posted by Mims27 View Post
              I can't say I like the word and I personally do not use it but I do know people who use the word but they really don't mean it in BAD/hateful way.
              I am honestly a bit confused at this - how can it be used in a way that isn't bad or hateful? (with the exception of the uses in the UK for cigarettes/wood) Maybe it's a matter of opinion, but it bothers me even when people use it jokingly, because isn't that just mocking someone for not conforming to a heteronormative stereotype? It's not a word that can be separated from hateful meanings in this day and age, and I consider it akin to using the word 'gay' in place of 'stupid'.

              --

              I will admit when I first moved over to Ireland and someone said 'I'm going outside to smoke a fag' I was horrified!! I've also heard people refer to wood for the fire as a 'faggot' and even though I know the other meanings, I still get a knot in my stomach. I have seen many people who are very dear to me devastated by use of the words.


              Love will not betray you, dismay or enslave you, it will set you free

              Met: Cork, Ireland - December 31, 2009 • Started Dating: Cork, Ireland - May 22, 2010 • Became LD: July 15, 2010 • My Move From Canada to UK: October 26, 2011
              Closed the distance June 18, 2012!

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                #22
                I don't know how common this is anywhere else, but, where I live, the women/girls who like to hang out with the gay men/boys here seem to like calling themselves a "fag hag". Personally, I see that as making a derogatory remark about yourself and them in the same sentence, but maybe that's just me, I dunno. Personally, I don't like to hurt or offend people for no reason, so I refrain from using that word as much as I refrain from using any other stereotypical slur.. though, tbh, this isn't very hard to do considering I never have the want/urge to use those words anyway. This seems to be the minority where I'm from though, because most of the people here, especially the ones 30+, like to spew out hateful slurs (especially ones about african americans and gays) every time they cross there mind. :/
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                  #23
                  Originally posted by Belle View Post
                  Haha! Im from the US and definitely would have stared in confusion if someone said they were gonna smoke a fag. Smoke is slang for kill (usually with a gun) so that would just freak me out and leave me scratching my head. I don't use the word 'fag' and I hear it with my guy friends less and less as I get older. I think its inappropriate but I frequently use the word 'gay' to describe something overly mushy and loving between my SO and I, so I'm probably just as guilty.
                  well me and Denise do that all the time, if someone says something like that or something about gays in a funny not mean way i'll laugh at it as long as your not trying to be a jerk about it theres nothing wrong with it

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                    #24
                    It's all in context. I use it - rarely. I say this or that is gay which is usually used in a negative way in order to describe something I don't like. I say a lot of words that some people would disagree with or feel my choices are not PC. But in the end, I do feel it's all about context and intent.

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                      #25
                      Originally posted by committed View Post
                      It's all in context. I use it - rarely. I say this or that is gay which is usually used in a negative way in order to describe something I don't like. I say a lot of words that some people would disagree with or feel my choices are not PC. But in the end, I do feel it's all about context and intent.
                      This is a dead thread. Please read the last post date on threads before reviving them.

                      ♥ In 666 Ways I Love You & My Heaven Is Wherever You Are. I'm For You. ♥

                      We Met: June 9,2010
                      Back Together: August 1,2012
                      First Visit: September 21,2012 - September 29,2012
                      Second Visit: January 13,2013 - February 24,2013
                      Engaged: January 17,2013
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                        #26
                        Originally posted by LadyDaemon View Post
                        This is a dead thread. Please read the last post date on threads before reviving them.
                        How old are they when they are considered dead?

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                          #27
                          Originally posted by committed View Post
                          How old are they when they are considered dead?
                          The last post date is marked November 8th 2012. This thread hasn't been active in almost 9 months. Whenever you see a thread like this that the last post was made I would say more then a month ago is considered dead. If you would like to post a new thread about this subject then feel free.

                          ♥ In 666 Ways I Love You & My Heaven Is Wherever You Are. I'm For You. ♥

                          We Met: June 9,2010
                          Back Together: August 1,2012
                          First Visit: September 21,2012 - September 29,2012
                          Second Visit: January 13,2013 - February 24,2013
                          Engaged: January 17,2013
                          Closed The Distance-MS - AZ: June 15th,2013
                          Moved To FL Together: November 14,2013
                          We Got Married! - July 3,2014
                          SO Graduated College - August 7,2015
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                            #28
                            Originally posted by LadyDaemon View Post
                            The last post date is marked November 8th 2012. This thread hasn't been active in almost 9 months. Whenever you see a thread like this that the last post was made I would say more then a month ago is considered dead. If you would like to post a new thread about this subject then feel free.
                            Oh I see. So you're making this rule up as you go. "I would say" is really not a rule, is it? And, it's 7.5 months. Not 9. I wanted a REAL answer. Point this newbie to the rules section. I wasn't looking for just a guess from someone who joined this site a couple of months ago and is now mini-modding. I do remember when I joined reading something about not posting a new thread before doing a search to make sure one wasn't already here on the subject. At least I think I did.

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                              #29
                              Originally posted by committed View Post
                              Oh I see. So you're making this rule up as you go. "I would say" is really not a rule, is it? And, it's 7.5 months. Not 9. I wanted a REAL answer. Point this newbie to the rules section. I wasn't looking for just a guess from someone who joined this site a couple of months ago and is now mini-modding. I do remember when I joined reading something about not posting a new thread before doing a search to make sure one wasn't already here on the subject. At least I think I did.
                              Um,exuse me? You can tone down your attitude at me first of all. I'm not making up any rules. There is no point in reviving a dead thread. This is a real answer. If you ask anyone they will tell you the same thing and just because I didn't get the amount of months right still doesn't make me wrong. I suggest you check your attitude or you won't last here very long.

                              ♥ In 666 Ways I Love You & My Heaven Is Wherever You Are. I'm For You. ♥

                              We Met: June 9,2010
                              Back Together: August 1,2012
                              First Visit: September 21,2012 - September 29,2012
                              Second Visit: January 13,2013 - February 24,2013
                              Engaged: January 17,2013
                              Closed The Distance-MS - AZ: June 15th,2013
                              Moved To FL Together: November 14,2013
                              We Got Married! - July 3,2014
                              SO Graduated College - August 7,2015
                              Moved to Ky - August 10, 2015

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                                #30
                                Originally posted by committed View Post
                                How old are they when they are considered dead?
                                From what I've noticed, threads die here at about 2 weeks (unless the OPer revives them) and they're certainly dead by when a month has gone by without responses, let alone a whole year. xD

                                ETA: I posted before I even saw the other's posts. o.o It's not a hard rule but it's a general rule that people live by and respect on the forum...?

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