Who wears the pants in the relationship?

[floridaellen]

I think we make most decisions together. I think our relationship is pretty much 50-50.

Of course, he tends to wear the pants. I wear a lot of skirts.

[Biscous]

We both slightly like the get the upper hand in one way or another, but it is friendly and balanced for the most part We know certain aspects of the relationship we are better at than others so we work together.

[kittyo9]

I hate the phrase "who wears the pants in the relationship". It's the 21st century, people, we don't need to be this sexist.

"Wearing the pants" doesn't have to be sexist. It stems from a sexist idea, but in modern terms, it's really, "Who calls the shots in your relationship? Who makes the decisions?" Some relationships are more balanced and others are (consensually) one-sided. Think of it as an idiom.

[CynicalQuixotic]

"Wearing the pants" doesn't have to be sexist. It stems from a sexist idea, but in modern terms, it's really, "Who calls the shots in your relationship? Who makes the decisions?" Some relationships are more balanced and others are (consensually) one-sided. Think of it as an idiom.

But it is sexist. It comes from a time where wearing pants connoted power that was intrinsically linked to masculinity. Language meaning shifts, yes, but the connotations rankle me. I don't expect everyone to feel this way, though. Admittedly, because of the whole birth control circus that's going on right now, I've been much more sensitive to feminist issues.

[Xanahtas]

We both do, when it comes to making decisions we are pretty much 50/50 and always come to an agreement. We both keep each other 'in check' and make sure we are both organised and doing what we should be but i do tend to get bossy sometimes, just habit lol, comes with having two younger siblings!

[Yaaamiii]

I think its pretty even .

[11MikesGirl21]

I don't really know to be honest. If we both don't agree either something doesn't happen or we find a compromise. A lot of the time though when I ask to do something or say that I want to he'll usually find a way to make it happen, even if he doesn't tell me anything and just surprises me by telling me to "well come on let's go." If he makes a mention of something he'd like to do or would like to have if I can get it for him I do. I think our relationship may be entirely pantless. Neither one of us is entirely in charge. We're a team and we like it that way.

[Dauntedpoet]

Are the pants you're referring to pants in the US sense of the word, or the UK? 'Cause those would be very different pants and I need to know so I can adjust my wardrobe accordingly. I'm wearing pants (both kinds) right now, my SO probably is too (unless he's in sauna), so should I go home and change?

OMG Moon my SO and I had an entire conversation about pants, trousers, and underwear. It's one of his favorite 'niggles'. To which I say "You could always just go without pants and trousers then the point would be moot."


My SO and I tend to balance each other out. He shows me the big picture.. as he usually stands back and observes, and I give him the close up view.. as I am always in the fray, doing. So we really do share the decisions... unless its something that totally falls in the others area of expertise, then we defer to the other.

[Babypuppy21]

This is a tough one, we both discuss whatever decisions have to be made, I have no problem asking for his input that’s one reason he’s there (joke) but his views are important to me. As we near marriage, I’m hoping this continues as well, I respect him and his opinions while not afraid to share mine, so we each have one leg in the said pants.

[Manoek]

We are trying on the same pare of pants at the same time..

Confusing..!? Yes!!

[kiara_silver]

hmm. I guess I would say he does. Just because he knows how to get things done lol Or how to get somewhere and I happily follow his lead. But on the important choices and topics, its a mutual agreement. Maybe he's the one in charge but he always talks to me and see's what I want and my opinion matters just as much. He's the one though who takes action and figures things out. Plans things, trips, visits, comes up with things so yeah, he wears the pants but he's not bossy lol

[efish1042]

We share the pants. We're both very logical, but we give each other perspective. I tend to rule with my emotions a little more than he does, but he keeps me from losing my head. He has much less experience in social settings and the softer side of decision making, so I make him see when he is being callous or too logical and forgetting there are other factors besides 2 and 2 equalling 4. As my mother once put it, our dysfunctions make each other functional.

[Amatory]

...I totally wear the pants. C:

He wears frilly pink aprons. >D

[Haley53]

It's funny. I saw this thread the day of the morning my boyfriend and I were discussing this. We typically tend to fool around with stupid sexist humour, and so he was kidding around about wearing the pants, to which I was responding with that I only let him think he wears them, and it went on and on until he got more serious about it and said that that's actually one thing he really likes and appreciates about our relationship, the fact we both wear them in the sense we both take charge sometimes and in different domains. There are domains in which we share them as well. If we disagree, we generally easily come to a compromise, unless one of us feels so strongly about something that we refuse to compromise in which case the other usually manages to accomodate that value. We work quite well together and I don't think either one of us really fits into a gender role, either when it comes to making decisions or even when it comes to sex or something so simple as cuddling. But that's also coming from two people who want to raise their children as far away from gender as possible, so perhaps it makes sense we'd have the dynamic we do?

[Malaga]

Speaking about pants, I always found it funny how him and I could swap jeans, we wear exactly the same size. Except it all hangs a bit loose on him and not so much on me...lol