please tell me i'm not overreacting

[snow]

I think im gonna end it today, im giving up. Idk what else to do. I even asked if he could write me a letter when we first started talking when i had doubts he was real he said he would but it would take a while because his writing is bad. All he does is make excuses idk what to do. I sent him a break up email but i was sick after that and he cried so we got back together. Idk how to handle this. Im actually very busy but i always have acess to my phone. I work 2 jobs and volunteer full time. Its just so ugh!

I have to say it really is how 80anthea said: if these things bug you so early on in this relationship and your SO can't or won't change this, then LDRs are probably not for the both of you. Talking to each other is not always a given, sometimes people go without talking for a week or longer, as they said here. It is really on both of you to try to make it work, which means that if you need more communication and he can't give you more, then maybe this is not the right relationship for you two.
Different people handle stress differently, while you work 2 jobs and volunteer full time (impressive!) he might be stressed out with a part-time job and wanting to spend time with his friends. The only way to make this work when your schedules are clashing that much is to compromise.

[Malaga]

I have to say it really is how 80anthea said: if these things bug you so early on in this relationship and your SO can't or won't change this, then LDRs are probably not for the both of you. Talking to each other is not always a given, sometimes people go without talking for a week or longer, as they said here.

That has nothing to do with LDRs. Unless you're dropped in a place with no communication lines whatsoever or access to technology, going a week without communication is a choice rather than necessity. If he prefers to spend time in other ways at the expense of spending so little time with her just a few weeks into their relationship, when they're still supposed to be high on butterflies, I think it just goes to show he's not that into her (anymore). Just because she's (rightfully) unhappy with that, doesn't mean LDRs are not for her. I've been in a successful LDR for 3.5 years and I'd be very unhappy with that kind of arrangement as well.

[differentcountries]

All can be done in the long run (I too have gone a long time without much convo), but usually there is more activety in the begining because that is when you get to know each other. That is why i think this level of contact so early in the relationship is a bit alarming. They don't seem to do mails or anything.

Our first two monhts of relationship were crazy, busy and sleep depriving and I would never do it again, also I would never have been without it, because you can name anything about him and I am pretty sure I know how it is. I know how his city is before even going there because he skypes and send me pics and describe it with words. I know which of his relatives are dead or alive, and where the live ones live and the name of his brother's girlfriend and what is the first memory he has of himself. We made nicknames and internal jokes. That is how it should be in the beginning; sexy, with a lot of mental intimacy. Not wishing to get maybe one text a day. No one can get to know anyone like that.

If he has time on his hands, he should spend some of it with you. It is as simple as that.

[Hollandia]

I don't even consider anything less than a month to be a relationship, I think of it as dating. When you first start dating someone, you don't call them everyday all the time. If the OP needs this , LD or CD then she is going to need to find someone like that. My SO never did in the very beginning either and I did not expect it. I would also say what someone else said, don't text him everyday either. Don't sit around on your off time and wait for his text. Go out and live life and unless you have agreed to exclusivity, go date. He very well could be and until you discuss it, his "friends" could be other women. When two people mutually decide to see no one else then there is a deeper feeling beyond just dating and wanting to settle down. When you love someone like that you WANT to communicate with them and not always spend time with your friends instead. If you don't. something is missing and best to end it early. If this is how the OP's man was acting, then breaking up with him is a good decision imo.

When you start dating again, just know what you want and make sure you don't settle for it but it is somewhat unrealistic to think most people will want to make such a commitment in so short of a time. I don't think that matters if you are 1, 10 or 10,000 miles away from each other.

[JC2122]

We are exclusive he calls me his gf his friends know about me he calls me his, i just dont get it. He says he loves our relationship well those were his exact words. I just dont understand why he wont want to talk more. But i just sent him a nice little breakup text. Im not even gonna wait for our date night on friday. Im over it. I tried

[kikidee]

From everything I've heard breaking up is probably not a bad idea. You should be in the joyful honeymoon stage where you guys can't get enough of each other! My SO and I talked for hours every day on the phone and skype in the beginning and now we only do when we can. It's enough, but it can be hard.
I think he isn't ready for the responsibility for this relationship and he shouldn't be always making you last. Yes hanging out with friends is fine but if he can't even talk with you every other day or something like a real quality conversation because he's choosing partying with his friends then that is just inconsiderate.

[Hollandia]

We are exclusive he calls me his gf his friends know about me he calls me his, i just dont get it. He says he loves our relationship well those were his exact words. I just dont understand why he wont want to talk more. But i just sent him a nice little breakup text. Im not even gonna wait for our date night on friday. Im over it. I tried

I wish you the best. If you are over it then perhaps it was not as serious as you thought. I would recommend moving a bit slower next time and hope you find the right man that will make you happy and treat you as you want that you deserve.

[DC2London]

I do not think it is too much to ask for some communication during the day. I am going through a similar phase where we are trying to text less in order to make him not feel pressured and anxious (which could be the case for yours), but on the same token, I think having almost none is bad for the relationship. He seems relatively busy and he also just might not be an avid texter. Before we dated, my SO NEVER texted anyone ever really, now he does so much and it is overwhelming at times. Patience is a virtue. But it might be good to say how you're feeling and maybe compromise on a time to talk. And if he can't at that time still shoot you a message saying he's thinking about ya, or decide on another time. It takes patience on both ends but if you both want this then the effort must be put forth!

[JC2122]

He will be distraught when he reads the text he will tell me he is broken, how do i handle that?

[nottheprincesspeach]

I wish you the best. If you are over it then perhaps it was not as serious as you thought. I would recommend moving a bit slower next time and hope you find the right man that will make you happy and treat you as you want that you deserve.

This is the problem with going so serious so fast is the fizzle out when you haven't taken the time to really get to know someone and analyze compatibility. It is fun but also deceitful.

[Ahava]

i just sent him a nice little breakup text.

I'm sorry but I couldn't help myself. "A nice little breakup text". Now I have heard it all.

[nottheprincesspeach]

If you really want to end it, tell him he had his chance and you weren't given what you need. If you really wanted to not deal with this, you should have had a conversation with him before ending it so he would understand and you could fulfill your end of the bargain.

[JC2122]

We talked a bit yesterday afternoon and i asked him what does he do for me and he said idk and i said well this isnt a one way relationship i cant put out all the effort. I said when you figure it out please let me know, then he texts me a bit later and says i make u happy but im like im spending a bit of money to bus u here and for a hotel i send u emails, i text you every morning. Just please tell me i am not over reacting and just do i sound like a horrible person

[lyonsgirl]

He will be distraught when he reads the text he will tell me he is broken, how do i handle that?

you broke up with him via text?

[JC2122]

I mean i cried on the phone to him and told him i needed more time with him. I have bad anxiety and i actually vomit sometimes when i wait for him all day it literally makes me sick. And yes i did break up via text