Midlife Crises

[dglynn77]

Genuine question, you've never spoken to him....how do you actually know he's a 19yr old and not some person making money from your "sexy" photos?

I think the OP stated somewhere that they had webcammed together and laughed together but never spoken? (Something confusing like that...) I'm sure she'll set us straight on that though

[80anthea]

I think the OP stated somewhere that they had webcammed together and laughed together but never spoken? (Something confusing like that...) I'm sure she'll set us straight on that though

I'm confused as to how you can hear people laugh but not their voice.....

[Ahava]

I'm confused as to how you can hear people laugh but not their voice.....

They read each others lips...or typed.
I've heard of other people (who are too shy to speak on cam) do the same thing, you have a Skype sesh but you type everything you want to say.

When it happens with my SO & I its usually coz Skype/or something else technical is against us and we can't hear each other.

[80anthea]

So you'd see eachother on the screen but type? Seems a little weird to me......but each to their own!

[Davidvs]

I've done it before due to lagging or low quality sound.
But that was only in rare instances.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

And by the way, I believe I addressed this before which you seemed to ignore my response to that dude. "The forum rules say not to personally attack members but that doesn't seem to stop you." I really couldn't care less about being "official" because I see time and again people get into relationships just to be in one so not having an "official" title doesn't make our feelings for each other less valid. He only pushes me away because he can't see me right now and he doesn't know how to handle the distance properly and that's the only reason he's pushing me away. It isn't because he thinks I'm "crazy." If that was the case he would have stopped talking to me the minute he read my blogs and stories about him. Instead he told me I'm a really good writer.

You say you've read my posts just like that Davs poster, but I think you've misread some things time and again and aren't reading the same situation that I typed.

Sorry, but I think you need to face reality, and believe me I know that is hard to do sometimes. There are times age DOES make a difference. When I was a few years older than you, early 30's, divorced, single mom of 6, including a baby, I had an intense "Friends with benefits" relationship with a guy who was 20 something. We had a great time, until I made the fatal mistake of telling him I was in love with him. His reply was I had put him between a rock and a hard place. And he was right. I really couldn't expect a young guy like that to marry me, as the priest in my church said we would have to do, or I should give him up, and take on the burden of a big family which was already dysfunctional. Naturally, he ran. He was transferred and moved away, but I found him and we did write and call each other for a while, sporadically. But in my obsession, I chased him for a couple years, until one day, a woman answered the phone and said he didn't want to talk to me, and I should never bother him again. That was a shocking way to find out he was living with someone. And I quit right then, and got on with my life. I'm actually glad we didn't get together again. It wouldn't have been fair to him, and it would have prevented the adventurous life I got into after that.

Cut your losses, face the facts, and move on. Make something of your life, and find happiness without him. Let him enjoy his college years without the burden of someone as unstable as you have portrayed yourself to be.

Really, I'm not trying to judge you, just sharing my own hard-earned wisdom. And I hope the best for you. Get out there and get some help so you can have a happy, successful life, and someday be prepared for just the right guy, at just the right time.

[differentcountries]

Clearly none of us knows what the guy is thinking about OP and what is the exact nature of their relationship. On the other hand, the whole reason why we discuss this, is because OP asked for advice and opinions. OP interprets theirs as a wonderful love relationship but with circumstances against it, others see him as less invested than her and are provoked their advice seem to not be taken to heart. It is just a neverending story. OP will contiune to interprete even his rejections in the best of lights, others will chip in with stories trying to prove her wrong. At the end of the day it is just matter of what you are getting and how much you are willing to put up with to get it.

[itsjen516]

Maybe it's just me ? But what I'm getting from this is that he has been ignoring you correct ? If that was me and my guy was ignoring me I would automatically think they just stopped caring.

[Luc]

Maybe it's just me ? But what I'm getting from this is that he has been ignoring you correct ? If that was me and my guy was ignoring me I would automatically think they just stopped caring.

When a guy ignores you it doesn't always mean that he stopped caring. I sometimes ignore my SO when I feel hurt or overwhelmed and need time alone to sort things out for myself. In fact, when I ignore my SO, I do so because I care so much. If I didn't care I would just tell her to piss off, but as long as a man doesn't tell you to piss off, it's a safe bet that he still cares about you, even when he seems to ignore you.

However, just because a man still cares about you doesn't mean he still wants to be with you. Him doubting his future with you might in fact be the very reason why he seems to be ignoring you. He probably needs time alone to figure out what he really wants and what is best for him.

[silvermoonfairy3]

When a guy ignores you it doesn't always mean that he stopped caring. I sometimes ignore my SO when I feel hurt or overwhelmed and need time alone to sort things out for myself. In fact, when I ignore my SO, I do so because I care so much. If I didn't care I would just tell her to piss off, but as long as a man doesn't tell you to piss off, it's a safe bet that he still cares about you, even when he seems to ignore you.

Before I comment, I'm going to ask, do you tell your SO you need some time, or do you hang up mid-call/delete her on FB/stop responding until you feel like it?

There's a world of difference between "Hey, I need some time, leave me alone for a bit" type "ignoring" (which personally I'm hesitant to even call ignoring) and deleting people from your social media/not taking their calls/actively avoiding them.

The type that's hanging up a call, intentionally not being in touch without saying why, etc. is kind of childish, and it's also rude and inconsiderate to the partner. I don't think there are pretty much ever circumstances where I'd be okay with a partner ignoring me.
But, as I said, ignoring is different than a partner needing some space or time without contact. But as adults, that should be communicated, and respected.

[Malaga]

When a guy ignores you it doesn't always mean that he stopped caring. I sometimes ignore my SO when I feel hurt or overwhelmed and need time alone to sort things out for myself. In fact, when I ignore my SO, I do so because I care so much. If I didn't care I would just tell her to piss off, but as long as a man doesn't tell you to piss off, it's a safe bet that he still cares about you, even when he seems to ignore you.

You tell a girl you no longer want to be in a relationship with to piss off? Seriously. You should come with a warning label.

[dglynn77]

When a guy ignores you it doesn't always mean that he stopped caring. I sometimes ignore my SO when I feel hurt or overwhelmed and need time alone to sort things out for myself. In fact, when I ignore my SO, I do so because I care so much. If I didn't care I would just tell her to piss off, but as long as a man doesn't tell you to piss off, it's a safe bet that he still cares about you, even when he seems to ignore you.

However, just because a man still cares about you doesn't mean he still wants to be with you. Him doubting his future with you might in fact be the very reason why he seems to be ignoring you. He probably needs time alone to figure out what he really wants and what is best for him.

I'm thinking I just got super lucky to get a great guy who neither ignores me nor tells me to "piss off." He loves me enough to include me, even if he is hurt, overwhelmed, or needing time alone. IF he wanted time alone, he'd straight up tell me he needs some time, and not in an ignoring or "piss off" manner.

What is with these people???

Question: If your best friend ignored you the same way he did, would you still be best friends?
Also, whyyyyyyy would you want to be with someone who felt ignoring you was ok???
Maybe this ignoring factor is the difference between boys and men. I dated boys, and they play games. I married a man, and yeah. It's pretty amazing.

[itsjen516]

When a guy ignores you it doesn't always mean that he stopped caring. I sometimes ignore my SO when I feel hurt or overwhelmed and need time alone to sort things out for myself. In fact, when I ignore my SO, I do so because I care so much. If I didn't care I would just tell her to piss off, but as long as a man doesn't tell you to piss off, it's a safe bet that he still cares about you, even when he seems to ignore you.

However, just because a man still cares about you doesn't mean he still wants to be with you. Him doubting his future with you might in fact be the very reason why he seems to be ignoring you. He probably needs time alone to figure out what he really wants and what is best for him.

That's why I said that's how I take it. If he needs time or even a friend needs time just let me know. But if I herd Nothing for days or maybe weeks I'll take it as not caring

[lyonsgirl]

I'm thinking I just got super lucky to get a great guy who neither ignores me nor tells me to "piss off." He loves me enough to include me, even if he is hurt, overwhelmed, or needing time alone. IF he wanted time alone, he'd straight up tell me he needs some time, and not in an ignoring or "piss off" manner.

What is with these people???

Question: If your best friend ignored you the same way he did, would you still be best friends?
Also, whyyyyyyy would you want to be with someone who felt ignoring you was ok???
Maybe this ignoring factor is the difference between boys and men. I dated boys, and they play games. I married a man, and yeah. It's pretty amazing.

I'm with you, dglynn.... Guess I got lucky too and married a man. He's never intentionally ignored me. Meaning: I've felt as though I was being ignored when in reality his phone was being stupid and wasn't sending/receiving messages.

[kattermole]

Another lucky one here, I'm actually with an adult who doesn't play stupid mind games, we actually discuss when things are wrong! I wouldn't put up with being ignored, it's just plain rude, in my opinion of course