Bittersweet visit

[elina]

Sorry to hear your trip didn't go as planned I didn't even know you were about to go see him.. should start being more active on here again so I'd be able to keep up with what's going on

Anyhoo, I'm really glad to hear that the time you did get to spend together was wonderful! Hopefully you'll get to see each other again soon

[Dziubka]

Just to make things clear: Of course agentholli is right and every relationship is different and different people have different needs and expectations. If Sara is happy with the kind of relationship she has, then more power to her. It definitely weren't for me and I would have called him yelling, daring him to contact me again. But I'm sure there's things I'm okay with, that would be fire red flags for others and there's S/M couples and a whole lotta things out there, that I don't understand. To each their own.
I just hope that Sara really IS happy with this and that this really is the kind of relationship she wants. It didnt seem so from the first post and her recent blog entries, but then I don't really know her, so how would I know?
If your relationship (not him! The whole situation- even prince charming can come in bad circumstances, no matter how right the moments with him feel, if most of the time something feels wrong- it probably is!) makes you happy, then that's ok Are you two planning a second visit?

[LadyMarchHare]

The only grand difference I see in my relationship compared to others here is I get less communication time with him than what one might consider healthy or 'normal'. Obviously I'd like that to change but as I've said it's not in my control or his beyond him quitting and going elsewhere, which right now seems to not be an option. I made my peace with this months ago when we began talking less and less in the summer due to his busy schedule. Would I like better? Sure, anyone would. As for the blog entries, I spent the past two months of planning this trip scared out of my mind about flying and it threw me into a depressive state of constant crying and other things.

But yes, I am happy with my relationship. I work hard to make it work as does he and we make the most of what time we're given. We are planning a second visit, but we aren't sure when it will be just yet. Either way it's a start and we've even talked about closing the distance within the next couple of years depending on my schooling and our financial situations.

[LadyMarchHare]

There's nothing wrong with being concerned.

There's an ocean-wide line between concern and being an asshole towards someone who made a few mistakes. We're all human and I don't see how he gets that treatment when no one's reacted this stupidly towards others' SOs who have screwed up more with, say, cheating or actual abuse.

[Silviar]

There's an ocean-wide line between concern and being an asshole towards someone who made a few mistakes. We're all human and I don't see how he gets that treatment when no one's reacted this stupidly towards others' SOs who have screwed up more with, say, cheating or actual abuse.

Absolutely.

[garnet]

But yes, I am happy with my relationship. I work hard to make it work as does he and we make the most of what time we're given. We are planning a second visit, but we aren't sure when it will be just yet. Either way it's a start and we've even talked about closing the distance within the next couple of years depending on my schooling and our financial situations.

Ooh thats exciting! Do you guys have an early place in mind you want consider living in?

[princessmia]

princessmia: Story of my life, really. Honestly looking back I'm glad we did get the time we did. I was very happy and I felt at home and safe. I know he feels just as bad about our time being cut short, but I think this put a bug up both our butts to work toward a better and hopefully longer visit.

I'm glad to hear that. I also read your blog, and it does sound like you truly had an amazing time together. I hope he gets better with his abdominal pain if he hasn't already! I'm sure he liked having you there to make him feel better

[toggle]

Can I ask why you were staying in a hotel and not his apartment?

[LadyMarchHare]

He has about 4 or 5 roommates where he's staying and they're not the best people. When he moved there back in late summer I was told I couldn't send him gifts anymore in the mail because they take his mail and open it while he's not there and they don't respect each others' space or property. In short, we wouldn't have been alone and there would have been a chance some of my things would have gone missing. Personally I preferred the hotel because it's neutral territory and you're not screwing up someone's living space or anything.

[LadyMarchHare]

Ooh thats exciting! Do you guys have an early place in mind you want consider living in?

Right now it's sort of an unspoken thing that we'd live in Orlando. Personally I'd like to convince him to either move here with me or at least back to Georgia where he's from, but in all honesty so long as I'm with him I don't really care where we live.

[JoMarie]

Oh dear god, I've been away too long.

First off Sara, it takes a woman to come back from vacation time with their SO and actually admit that things didn't go as planned. From the first post I read I got this..

I'm am SO happy for you, I am so glad that the time you did get together went great. I was really wishing to hear that much when I checked in with you. -I- do not know you well, but I know you enough to know you LOVE your man. Who cares what bystanders have to say about that? It takes patience and love to get through what you have been though as far as your SO's job. I don't quite understand why some people don't understand sometimes you just can't get what you want when you work. I understand.

It sucks that you didn't get as much time with him as you had hoped, but I am proud of you. I am so happy you WENT. I am so happy you didn't back out, and even happier that when you had the choice to stay in alone or go out you went out.

[LadyMarchHare]

Thank you. In retrospect it honestly was not that bad and could have been way worse. Coming home two days early isn't exactly cause for disaster even if I'm annoyed they charged me near $300 in fees to change my flight. We got time together and I got time to myself, which as my therapist puts it, had its pluses and minuses. Bottom line being I tackled my fear of flying, of taking the initiative and even being alone all while getting to see him for a while. Granted things are a tad awkward between us at the moment due to something I did, but that can be worked out.

[Michelle]

I just saw this! I had been wondering how your trip went. I'm so sorry things didn't go as planned I know how hard it was for you to scrape up the money and build up enough nerves to be able to make the trip.

Was there any reason why he wasn't able to go to work from the hotel and come back from work to stay the night with you or at least come back to eat supper with you? You're probably tired of all the questions :P but I was wondering why he had to stay at his apartment the days he had to work when the hotel was so close to where he worked anyway.

[LadyMarchHare]

I just saw this! I had been wondering how your trip went. I'm so sorry things didn't go as planned I know how hard it was for you to scrape up the money and build up enough nerves to be able to make the trip.

Was there any reason why he wasn't able to go to work from the hotel and come back from work to stay the night with you or at least come back to eat supper with you? You're probably tired of all the questions :P but I was wondering why he had to stay at his apartment the days he had to work when the hotel was so close to where he worked anyway.

My guess is transportation. He doesn't have a car (he's saving, he told me he almost had one before I came but the guy wanted 6k up front) and because he has a suspended license for whatever reason he couldn't rent a car so his main mode of transport was catching rides from coworkers and none of them were willing to drive out that far to get him and of course cabs get expensive quick. I know it cost me over $60 each day to take a cab to and from Epcot and the damn place was only 8 miles away. Plus it was the weekend and he works the worst hours on weekends, getting up at dawn and coming home around 1 or 2 am. Plus I think in the end it may have been worse since it wears him out so much. I know the first night even though he got off early, he passed out pretty early from working so hard.

[Miramaid]

Can I ask why you were staying in a hotel and not his apartment?

are you thinking what I am thinking?