Bittersweet visit

[LadyMarchHare]

are you thinking what I am thinking?

Care to relay to me what it is you're thinking, considering I already answered why I was in a hotel?

[Tanja]

Sara,

I want to say I think you were SO brave for taking that trip, booking the flights and the hotel on your own. I'm really glad you did all that and even if the trip wasn't as perfect as you both wanted it to be it was a good experience for you and without a doubt showed that you CAN do things by yourself, you don't need help. You are strong and I know how much courage it took to get on that plane (trust me, I know). I'm sure that the next visit will be wonderful and you can make up for the lost time.

I too am a bit surprised at some people's responses and "attacks" at Hattie even though after reading your posts and blogs I've had my moments of doubt about him. But I know that when you're working you CAN NOT just take a week off whenever you want, that's not how it goes! If your boss says no then you have no choice. I wish some people would see that.

It does however amaze me how long he's allowed this to go on. Isn't there ANY other jobs available to him? Anything at all? Because I'm telling you right now Sara, he will not last with Disney. I can promise that he will have a nervous breakdown at some point. Even if the money is good it's still not worth it, he can hardly ever talk to you, he hardly ever has any free time at all, it's possibly affecting his health (you can get palpations from stress and too much working), I can't see anything positive about him working there.

You said he doesn't have time to look for other jobs - how about you looked for them for him? Do you know anyone in your area that could/would hire him? Would he be willing to make the move if he had a job there?

It just seems like his job is eating out on your relationship and that is not right. It's not fair to you and the way he is treated is certainly not fair to him.
I don't want to sound harsh but I do feel quite strongly about this and am worried that he might be risking his health in the long run.

I'm SO glad you made it back home safely and you finally got to meet the man you love ♥

[Silviar]

are you thinking what I am thinking?

Seriously, tissa, lay off Sara. She's already answered that, for one, so if you'd taken the time to read responses you would have seen it. Two, it's called manners. Either say what you want to say in a respectful way or butt out.

[Silviar]

Fail double post. Site is loading very slowly.

[Miramaid]

Care to relay to me what it is you're thinking, considering I already answered why I was in a hotel?

Absolutely not.
I think that it is a little strange that he did not meet you at the airport, but ok - he was at work. I think it is a little strange that doctor's visit and not answering his phone, and how he needed to go to work and not even give you a chance to say bye etc. etc. And you did not stay at his apartment, and you can not send him anything because he lives with people who can steal HIS things? And he lives with them and is not afraid to live with them with all his other personal belongings? You also mentioned in your previous posts that you guys do not talk as much. I do not know if you ever skype or not and if you have seen his apartment etc., but my question would be and my concern would be: are you sure he is not married or living with some other woman and hiding it from you (and hiding you from her)?

Again, I am sorry if I come out as insensitive. I do not mean to come out that way. I do not know him so all my concerns are only based on little details. You know him better.

[milaya]

Hi, like so many others I waited to hear how the visit went. We haven't talked, but I've read your posts and such. - Guess that is what this site does to us members XD You feel like you can relate to people you haven't even talked with one on one.

Anyway...
I'm sorry you two weren't able to get the time together you had hoped for, I myself would be devastated, so props to you for going out and spend your time on something else than just crying.
I'll not judge anything, since only you know your SO. Guess most of us on here just have things in our relationship that we take for granted. Resources, time to be together and etc. That doesn't mean that your relationship should be viewed negatively. You work with what you have and you're doing a really great job at that. You planned the trip, paid everything and got over a lot of your fears. Everything might didn't go your way, but think that time together you did have, probably made your relationship stronger and now you can work on that from there.

Guess it's all about seeing the positive things. The fact that you felt that the short time you had together was worth it and it was great, then it's good. Which maybe can also help you to "vision" (lack of better words) a next visit in a possible future. And that maybe your SO will be able to get another job, which will treat him like a human being.

I wish you the best and hope you'll get a next visit without bitterness.

[Miramaid]

You work with what you have and you're doing a really great job at that. You planned the trip, paid everything and got over a lot of your fears. Everything might didn't go your way, but think that time together you did have, probably made your relationship stronger and now you can work on that from there.

Guess it's all about seeing the positive things.

.

I agree

[toggle]

are you thinking what I am thinking?

I wasn't trying to suggest anything by it, but I was curious as to why he would leave you alone at the Hotel and you couldn't go back to his so you could at least spend the evenings together. It's hard to give advice or speculate on another person's relationship because the only people that truly know are the people in that relationship- nobody here can claim to know more about it than you do. So if in your head it all adds up and you think that everything is as it should be, then don't listen to other people's negativity. But if you posted this because you actually are concerned about how it worked out, and you are confused about how he acted or what he might have said or should have done, then you should talk to him about it.

[Moon]

Tissa and Toggle, Lady March Hare has a lot of friends on this site, who I'm sure have voiced their concerns to her - PRIVATELY. She's asked that the negativity be stopped and yet you both keep pursuing this publicly. Why??? If you were genuinely concerned about her, you could have PM'd her stating that, and given her your opinions then. Yes, this is a public forum, but unlike most, members treat each other with respect here. If you'd rather be dramatic, there are plenty of other forums for that, so back off, ladies. If LMH is satisfied with her trip and her SO's explanation, let it go already. You don't have to agree with her, but she's asked for the negativity to stop, so please respect her wishes.

[toggle]

I wasn't intentionally being disrespectful or spiteful, like I said, the only people who truly can comment on a relationship are the people in it. I was directly asked if that's what I meant, and I said I wasn't trying to insinuate anything.

[nicole]

I know LMH doesn't need people arguing for her, but come on people! LMH has answered all of these things many times already, even though she doesn't actually need to answer to ANYONE else on here. She was good enough to share her visit, as people were worried. Yes, the trip didn't go as planned, but as she has said several times, she has taken so many positives and steps forward.

She has explained why he didn't pick her up, and why he needed to go to the doctors- Disney is a bitch to work for and he had chest pains. His roommates are not nice people. LMH is in this relationship and accepts these reasons. It is not anyone else's job to speculate and pass judgment on- we do not know all that goes on, only which people care to tell us. We are here for support, not to accuse other people's SOs (who we haven't even met and don't even know) of having secret marriages and so forth.

LMH has been and still is a great support for many members on here, it would be respectful for everyone else to offer her that same kindness.

[toggle]

LMH is in this relationship and accepts these reasons. It is not anyone else's job to speculate and pass judgment on- we do not know all that goes on, only which people care to tell us.

This is exactly what I meant when I said that only they know. This is why I just stated the question rather than saying what other people have such as why couldn't he have done this, why couldn't he have done that. I don't know why people have taken what I said wrongly, and I'm feeling upset that people thought I meant it in a nasty way, which I didn't.

[Moon]

This is exactly what I meant when I said that only they know. This is why I just stated the question rather than saying what other people have such as why couldn't he have done this, why couldn't he have done that. I don't know why people have taken what I said wrongly, and I'm feeling upset that people thought I meant it in a nasty way, which I didn't.

Yes, but you've also just deleted your comment in which you said that her SO being married has crossed your mind. Its not a big deal, but just let it go, or keep it in the context of a private conversation.

[toggle]

Yeah I deleted it and said my reason was because I didn't mean to cause upset.

[LadyMarchHare]

Tanja: believe me I'm trying to get him out of Disney, but it's worn him down so much mentally that he basically believes every other job will be like this until we have the money to let him 'retire' and work on his book. I've tried getting his resume from him to help look for jobs here, in Georgia, and even Florida but you know how some guys are, it's a pride thing. Aggravating, but there you have it.

As for tissa and toggle, the shame on both of you. I'm dropping my niceties right now to say how fucking DARE you insinuate that the reason I was given less time with him and not brought into his hectic home was because he was married or screwing around on me. As I have repeated in this thread alone maybe a dozen times within these pages, NEVER in my time of being here on LFAD have I ever encountered such cruelty, whether meant or accidental, and such outrageous judgments. If you didn't want to "cause upset" you would have shut the hell up and said nothing on it to begin with. I can understand being concerned and asking why I wasn't at his apartment and why he couldn't come back to the hotel after work each night because those are genuine, innocent questions. But to outright say "oh gee he must have a wife or mistress" is not only insulting to me, it's demeaning the character of a man you don't even know.

Exactly what in the hell about my relationship gives any of you, not just toggle and tissa right now, to say these absurd and hurtful things to me under the guise of concern? Who the fuck do you think you're fooling? I posted this thread to relay my trip, get a little support from the fact it didn't exactly go as planned, and just receive general comments yet I'm being put on trial and you fools are ready to burn my SO at the bloody stake for the fact he HAD to work, screwed up a little, and couldn't help any of it. No one here reacts this way when someone says their SO cheated on them or left them for awful reasons or anything that's more than ten times worse, so I have to ask why I'm getting this 'special' treatment.