Is it odd NOT to fight?

[LeilaniJoi]

Reading the posts today it seems like everyone is at odds and frequently fighting with their SO. I can honestly say I don't remember us ever having a fight. We have had disagreements and gotten a bit sideways at times, but yelling and hanging up the phone (or the equivalent) has just never happened.

Other than missing out on makeup sex (hey maybe it is good to fight ) is it considered odd to NOT fight with your SO? I can honestly say in 9 months we never have.. O.o Either something is very wrong.. or something is very right... I can't decide which lol

Thoughts?

[Haley53]

I'm not sure. I've always been of the mindset that it's healthy to fight, but at the same time, I would consider a disagreement or being even somewhat at odds a "fight" in a way. I would agree it's more healthy to disagree or to get a slight bit annoyed. I spent 24/7 with my partner for a month, and we had one snappy argument that lasted about an hour and that was that and due to what I'm assuming was my missing a pill with very negative (emotional) consequences if you skip even one. We had disagreements, but we spoke about them/talked them out, and if necessary, he got on his computer for a bit and I read. So I wouldn't say what you have is unhealthy. So long as you both have your own mindsets and one is not constantly bending themselves backwards to keep the other happy, I'd boil it down to having good communication. Disagreement is what's healthy; screaming and constantly hanging up the phone on each other is not. :P

[11MikesGirl21]

My SO and I don't have yelling fights either. I'm not saying we don't argue or fight, we do. We just are nice about it. It's more of a disagreement rather than a fight. We're very careful about how and what we say to eachother. Even when we're CD we tend to write each other long notes on Word and pass off a laptop and then pass it back and forth. We've discovered we communicate better that way. We're both very inward people when it comes to expressing feelings, so writing instead of saying how we're feeling works out better for us.

[Rugger]

My SO and I don't fight. If we have a disagreement, we talk it out. We do get snippy with each other if we get frustrated, but that's about it.

[Rosebud]

Why in the world would it be considered a bad thing not to argue with someone? That's like stating you're jealous of the hurt and pain other couples go through when they argue with their SO which is pretty pretentious and belittling of their situations (ie their fights are not "that" big a deal).

[Svea]

My SO & I went the longest time without fighting in the first year of our relationship. It happens sooner or later, but now when we fight, it's more or less right before we're about to visit & we fight sensibly. There's never any yelling or name calling, but we express how we feel. I think it all boils down to being apart for so long that we're just so antsy about the visit.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

We've known each other for 12 years now, and we have never once fought. We've been a couple now for 13.5 months and we've had little differences of opinions. We've never raised our voices at one another. It's just who we are; we're both non-confrontational, peaceful people who don't think it's worth it to fight. We may not always agree or see eye to eye on things, but we can respect the other's opinions and we give our two-cents. I don't think there's any real point to getting into arguments over things.

[SquishyLove]

Just because a lot of people in their relationships fight, it doesn't make it healthy or something for you to shoot for as a goal! Be happy with the fact that you and your SO have rare disagreements or fights! Me and my fiance haven't had anything that I'd call a fight, but we have talked a lot about the fact that life can sometimes be a bumpy road, and there may be times we don't see eye-to-eye on everything, and we're prepared for how we'd like to deal with any future conflict we may have with each other. We both hate drama and mind games, and we've made a promise to always be calm in our dealings with any disagreements we have and talk it out and try to come to compromises together instead of fighting. We are definitely very sympatico together, but we're not clones either, and we respect each other's individuality. And forgive me if I'm being too "blue" here, but our sex is excellent even though we don't fight!

[kteire]

My SO and I have been together 16 months and never had an actual fight We've had disagreements about things, but we've never argued, and if something bothers one of us, we talk about it. I blew up at him once when I was having a horrible day and felt completely not myself. He was actually more worried than anything to be honest.

So yeah, I don't think there's anything to worry about with not fighting!! It's nice to not have to do it!

EDIT: Oh and with regards to makeup sex, not fighting has never made my SO and I miss out on having fantastic times anyways

[killerkaytee]

Me and my boyfriend never fight. We have our own opinions about things but we've never yelled at each other or gotten into an arguement and not talked to each other. We compromise a lot which really helps from feelings being hurt. We are also very trusting of one another and when something is bother us, we talk about it instead of getting mad at the other person and starting a fight. I love the fact we dont fight and compromise so well =) It's not in our nature to yell and get all upset over things

[Sora1101]

I've been with my SO for 2 years and we've only had disagreements which we've worked out camly, no fights for us yet. I hope to keep it that way!

[kiara_silver]

Me and my SO have been together over 2 years and have never had a fight. We've had tough conversations but it was not a fight in anyway. I think its normal in a LDR more, because patience is learnt. And you really learn to communicate, so you work through things better, more open. But yeah I think its normal

[Enric]

What's fight for us? I guess that being a LDR you won't really beat one each other. And yell? With microphone? What about if you talk just typing?

We had a problem when our relationship started but I wouldn't consider that a fight. Since we had that problem everything had been fine. She has a behaviour that makes fight impossible, she's always nice to me. I also try to be always nice to her and we don't have reasons for fight.

[Malaga]

This reminds me of a video I saw a few months ago
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7QmPwVRuCY

Seriously though, I guess it depends on personalities. Only you know what's it like between you, whether it's because you avoid conflicts or you're genuinely mature enough to discuss disagreements without frustration. My boyfriend and I don't fight, but it's because he's quite conflict avoidant. He never lets off steam, he just sits and sulks. Maybe not the healthiest way of dealing with things, but it's who he is and it's not going to change. Overall we don't have much to argue about anyway, tbh.

[Sunnyside193]

Well for just over a year me and my SO never had a fight, some couples are like that and dont fight. And some fight alot. So enjoy it while u have it