Jealous of non- international LDRs

[Hollandia]

Am I the only person in an international LDR that is jealous of people in a non-international one? To be perfectly honest I am also jealous of those that are both in EU. I just feel like I could do this whole LDR with my hands tied between my back if only I did not have this huge block to face. I lose sleep over it almost every day. I think I have literally made myself sick to my stomach. I think to myself why could he not just live in this country.....even twice as far would be so much easier. Why could my stupid government do whatever is necessary to make nice with the EU? Why could I not be born in the EU somewhere? I know it makes no real sense I just have been reading some of the non-international ones and I really just feel like saying...don't worry at least you are in the same country. You don't have to worry about being allowed to come in for another visit because some border control agent does not like the stamps in your passport. I have another trip coming up in June and already freaking out over where to land at because the borders are getting tighter and tighter and the last time they almost did not let me in. Why could he not be Alaska, or California or even Puerto Rico?? I don't even mind the time differences compared to the immigration worries.

I know I am a horrible person to some extent for these feelings of pure envy, but anybody else ever find themselves feeling similar?

[kittyo9]

I get jealous, too. Sometimes it feels totally unfair that I have to deal with all these extra things on top of having an LDR. Having your SO kept away from you because they were denied for a visa is a heart-breaking frustration same-country and EU couples will hopefully never have to endure.

[Zephii]

I don't do jealousy. But, there was a time I was all like "Why couldn't he just be a kiwi if he had to be international?!" But now I realise it's really not that bad. You get through it, even though it looks impossible at the start.
I do try to understand why the insane paperwork etc is necessary too, though some days it's hard to not be a brat about it all

Currently I'm terrified that when we come back from our holiday to Canada Obi will be stopped at the border and refused re-entry. (He's on a temporary residence visa) It's a dumb fear probably, but I can't help it. Even after you close the distance the internationalness is a big thing that never goes away.

Anyway, hang in there. There's always going to be someone better off than us, and always someone doing it much much worse. (Like the poor bastard I spoke to today who spent 7 years in a refugee camp before Australia granted his visa.)

[Moon]

I don't feel jealous, but I do feel the same otherwise. I'd do anything to be in the same country, even if it meant still being really far apart. I'd love to only be a few hours plane ride away, and a plane ride that doesn't cost $1000+ every time, or have to worry about border control. Part of me loves being international, but man, it comes with so much hassle I just wish there was an easier way somehow.

[Bluejay Belle]

Both LDRs I've been in have been in-country and I have to say I seriously commend those who can take on all that is involved with an international relationship. I know I'm incredibly lucky, I don't think I would remain as sane as you ladies if I were in that situation.

This didnt add anything, but I wanted to let you know that you're SUPER in my opinion! Strong, and that's a quality not all can flaunt.

[Hollandia]

I really just feel like a bad person for these feelings. I know there are some worse off. I just wanted to hear about what the other's think about it. Bluejay thanks for your words and to all others as well. I think by facing the way I feel and admitting it, maybe I can move past it and push forward to the next big hurdle a bit stronger.

[arrah5]

I'm with Bluejay here, I commend you for being able to hold on to your LDR internationally. Y'all are an inspiration for me, whenever I feel like the distance is too much I think about how much worse it could be and the fact that so many of you are making it work gives me the strength to keep trying. Heck even the ones in different states gives me strength. After reading some of your stories and getting to know some of you, I realize just how "easy" my LDR is compared to some of you.

Thank you for being an inspiration, Kudos, and hugs!

[Catface]

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can."

This is what I've been thinking about a lot lately. We can't change the distance between ourselves and our SO's (for now) and we can't help that we were born (seemingly) in the wrong place, apart from them. I think it's important that you try not to let that bother you because (for the moment) that's the unfortunate truth. Spend your time focusing on the positive and the things you can effect. I haven't had to travel to my SO yet, and I can't imagine how frustrating this is for you, but you will get through it. Don't focus on the distance, focus on the love that will bring you together. I'm sure there's a way to get around the border control, perhaps someone here will have some great tips for you If it were me and they tried to tell me no, I'd just park my bum on the road until they let me through :P

*Giant Hugs*

[Hollandia]

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can."

This is what I've been thinking about a lot lately. We can't change the distance between ourselves and our SO's (for now) and we can't help that we were born (seemingly) in the wrong place, apart from them. I think it's important that you try not to let that bother you because (for the moment) that's the unfortunate truth. Spend your time focusing on the positive and the things you can effect. I haven't had to travel to my SO yet, and I can't imagine how frustrating this is for you, but you will get through it. Don't focus on the distance, focus on the love that will bring you together. I'm sure there's a way to get around the border control, perhaps someone here will have some great tips for you If it were me and they tried to tell me no, I'd just park my bum on the road until they let me through :P

*Giant Hugs*

Thanks I know you all right. I am starting down a long road that feels endless so forgive my intense frustration over it today.

The border control is what it is. They have total right to deny entry if they want to. I follow the rules and jump through all the hoops but each time I come back I have more stamps in my passport to create more red flags to the border control. My SO same here for the fist time ever for a ten day trip and the immigration agent at Philadelphia gave him the third degree and told him he did not have to let him in. Both of our countries do not exactly have people flocking to leave them. I think I will have an ulcer by the time I close the distance. I have flown into Amsterdam and Rotterdam and planning on flying into Brussels next time. I spent about 3 hours trying to research what the "scoop" is on Belgium border control and pretty much came up empty. I am now confused and not sure if I should just fly back into Amsterdam again or not. This just makes me wish I was just born there / him here again.

[Catface]

Thanks I know you all right. I am starting down a long road that feels endless so forgive my intense frustration over it today.

The border control is what it is. They have total right to deny entry if they want to. I follow the rules and jump through all the hoops but each time I come back I have more stamps in my passport to create more red flags to the border control. My SO same here for the fist time ever for a ten day trip and the immigration agent at Philadelphia gave him the third degree and told him he did not have to let him in. Both of our countries do not exactly have people flocking to leave them. I think I will have an ulcer by the time I close the distance. I have flown into Amsterdam and Rotterdam and planning on flying into Brussels next time. I spent about 3 hours trying to research what the "scoop" is on Belgium border control and pretty much came up empty. I am now confused and not sure if I should just fly back into Amsterdam again or not. This just makes me wish I was just born there / him here again.

I'll ask around and see if I can dig something up for you. My friend and her SO closed the distance in Canada and he's from Belgium. My SO might even know something. He's fast asleep, but I'll ask him in the morning Can't promise any answers, but I'm going to try

[Hollandia]

I'll ask around and see if I can dig something up for you. My friend and her SO closed the distance in Canada and he's from Belgium. My SO might even know something. He's fast asleep, but I'll ask him in the morning Can't promise any answers, but I'm going to try

Any info on landing in Brussels would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much.

[LadyDaemon]

I agree with what a couple of the other ladies have said. It's been hard enough for me to be 1400 miles away in the same country let alone if I had to do it internationally. I'm strong but I don't think I could be strong enough to face the hurdles you guys do. I sometimes get jealous of the people who live in the same state or less then 100 miles away. BUT,when I think about how worth it everything is in the end,it helps me hold on. I know this is probably not the same,but I think like others have said if you just think about the positives and how worth it will be in the end then that can hopefully make it a little easier. *HUGE hugs*

[Tooki]

It is very difficult at times (especially with the time difference and 20 hours flight time/$2000 plane tickets.)

I am not jealous of same-country relationships though. Dating an Australian would not have given me the joys that I have experienced over the last 2 or so years. Being able to go on a real holiday, seeing the world, learning about new cultures, I wouldn't swap that at all.

[.:*Shaunna*:.]

I have to second what Tooki said While I don't enjoy being so far away from my boyfriend I love our 'cultural differences' as it gives our relationship a twist and I love his accent :P Wouldn't change it for anything

[Kiyama]

Tooki speaks wise words.
I'm not jealous but with regard to visa issues and entry issues I'd love him to be a EU citizen. It would make things soooo much easier.