Jealous of non- international LDRs

[Tooki]

Tooki speaks wise words.
I'm not jealous but with regard to visa issues and entry issues I'd love him to be a EU citizen. It would make things soooo much easier.

Cheers (you too Shaunna). Life would indeed be easier if I was an EU citizen or my GF was a Kiwi, but thankfully we have other easier options to pursue.

[dragonlady]

hear hear!! i agree with you all, all though i to get jealous and wish we would live on the same continent so your could drive and such instead of the plane

[snow]

I don't really get jealous but I do feel, like most of you, that it's much more difficult than it should be.. border control sucks, flying forever sucks, plane tickets that are so expensive suck too, but atleast I got to fly to america and see things I would have probably never seen if he was european

[summerkid]

I haven't really hit against border controls and things like that, but distance is distance and really hard regardless. I am not jealous of people who are in the same country, and could not imagine my SO being from somewhere else. I try to take things the way they are and focus on te fact that there is a solution for everything.. as long as we love eachother and things work between us, the rest can be fixed.. whether through a compromise like Moon or going through the complicated border control, visa, etc process.

[JoeyBug]

I'll admit that at times I do feel jealous of people who are in non international LDR's...not in a nasty way, just in why couldn't that have been us way. I appreciate that there are people worse off than me in regards to distance and while I don't hate it 24/7, I do find there are moments when I wish I could just take a drive and go see Scott or have him fly down or something.

I do appreciate that everyone is different though and for some people in same country LDR's have added obstacles because of their own situations. Sometimes though I do have bouts of the "why me??" phases, but I usually snap out of them pretty quick when I see people 10,000+ miles apart and think how lucky I have it in some ways!

[DiorAllure]

I don't think I get jealous per say, but I do get really frustrated when I see some other couples (even other international couples) who don't have the same visa difficulties as we do. US immigration has got to be the absolute most difficult thing ever. I know Australia has some nice visa options, and Canada/UK have that connection, but the US, almost the only way to get in is to get married or prove that you have a skill that is unable be provided by anyone in the US. Even the VWP has it's limitations. We've been following the rules, but it's ridiculous that practically everything is dependent on what side of the bed the border patrol officer woke up on that morning. We've been following the rules (or what little we know about the rules because they're not written clearly anywhere), but were told that we're "taking advantage of the system." So he can't come again for a few months, because if he got rejection, that would be disastrous...

So yes.... it does suck.

[kattermole]

I am a bit in awe of people in international LDRs as I've struggled enough with ours. I think it's natural to feel a bit jealous, the same way as I felt jealous about friends of mine who live in the same city or together with their SO, you're always going to envy those who are in a better situation than yourself. I suppose, though, you can't really rate your own problems compared to someone else's, everyone finds their LDR difficult in different ways and although rationally I know we have it pretty good compared to lots of people on here, that stil doesn't help me when I'm lying alone in bed, wishing he was here. I have the utmost admiration for you all, I think the strength required to carry out any LDR, particularly international, is immense and it's a testament to the strength of our relationships that we're still here and still going

[Zapookie]

I don't think I've ever felt jealousy. When my friends were like "zomg I haven't seen my boyfriend in 4 days -sadface-" I would reply back with "Try not seeing him for 7 months then get back to me". It was more... annoyance if anything. lol.

The only thing I struggle with is anxiety over the ida of applying for a visa for either of us to live in either ones country. It takes a long fucking time and there's a lot of paperwork involved. One step at a time I guess.

[MattDavies86]

I've never really thought about it to be honest, I'm not jealous of it though now you got me thinking, hell if we were both in the EU things would be a LOT easier, I mean, we wouldn't need visas, would be able to move to one and other easily (once work is found etc). but I'm not in Asia and she's not in EU, nothing can be done about it

[milaya]

Ever since I can remember my dream was to marry a Japanese, so for me to be in a LDDR with somebody from the EU or my own country seems unthinkable. Of course it's hard being separated by more than 5000 miles and the flights, time difference and immigration stuff is also tiring, but after all it's the relationship I chose. It's the relationship I wanted. So I feel no envy or jealousy.

[jennifer]

i know these international relationships can be very hard...! my bf is in US and im here in india... its literally like 7 seas apart and unfortunately i cant even go and meet him!!! and those people really give me temper who say that they miss their bf who is sitting in the next city!!! ask me!! i hate being soo far apart from my bf...

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

I do get a little jealous. I think the thing I'm most jealous about is that the travelling, just one way, can literally take more than 24 hours. And that means it's really really expensive. I think if we didn't have plans to close the distance, we wouldn't be able to afford flights indefinitely.

I'm in an unusual situation, because although I'm international, my SO has citizenship to my country, which massively limits my international woes to purely the expense and how long and uncomfortable the travelling is.

...The upside is definitely the accents. Come on, who doesn't love an accent. Yeah, it's not a reason to be international but I think it's a sexy extra.

[TwoThree]

I never get jealous of CD people around me because their relationships are lame and mine isn't

[redapple]

I'm ill so my concentration won't hold long enough to read everyone messages so I'm sorry if I've missed something!

I think jealousy is usually a really negative emotion that rarely leads to any thing good. Why does it have to be a competition of who has it worse?! It's sucks yep but we've all chosen to do this (I don't believe in there's only one person for you in the world so as far as I'm concerned we all could find someone else, we just choose not to because we like the person we are with!). Rather than think of how much 'better' other people have it than you try and think of the positives of being lucky enough to have found a guy your are willing to be in an international relationship with

[80anthea]

I don't really get jealous, as it wouldn't be the same relationship if he wasn't 3500 miles away and he wouldn't be the same person. I admit it would be a hell of a lot easier at times though!