The Men of LFAD

[Hollandia]

I agree with Dziubka on this. Opening a thread and labeling it just for men is more divisive than helpful. Especially because we as women will give our two cents regardless. If the men of LFAD truly wanted a guy only thread or section, they could open one. Usually on forums like this there is a private group etc. I'm not exactly sure how Michelle has that set up on here.

Does it say "Just for men" ? No, it does not, it is an invite for a place to hear what men think, too bad the women can't stop dissing the concept long enough to get any insight. It is not a private or restricted thread either but if you don't like it, then why are you reading it and posting on it?

[freakydeakydutchdude]

Okay, I just wasted at least an hour of my day reading this whole thread and then writing a response only to find that when I finally posted it I was displayed a message about spam and not being allowed to post links because my post count was 0. Guess what, there were NO LINKS in my post. So f*ck that. This forum is apparently useless. I'm outta here. The sun is shining brightly outside.

[sarahjane1992]

Does it say "Just for men" ? No, it does not, it is an invite for a place to hear what men think, too bad the women can't stop dissing the concept long enough to get any insight. It is not a private or restricted thread either but if you don't like it, then why are you reading it and posting on it?

I didn't say I didn't like it. I get the concept. My point was that women are going to comment on it. Because it's a public thread.
And to answer your question, I can read and post on it if I choose. From what I've read, there's only 2 males that have posted and they've said the same things here that they said in other threads.

[Chillosaurus]

[...] how is this different from the way men usually have male friendships and gatherings?

The modern opportunities of bringing people with similar goals together and allowing them to work on it, creating environments to improve personally, often result in new close friends. Admitting having problems and addressing them gets way easier, when you can find the right people to go this way together. Usually, friendships are formed through common activities, not common goals.

[Hollandia]

I didn't say I didn't like it. I get the concept. My point was that women are going to comment on it. Because it's a public thread.
And to answer your question, I can read and post on it if I choose. From what I've read, there's only 2 males that have posted and they've said the same things here that they said in other threads.

There has been four. The above freakydutchdude poster is my SO who wrote a long post and lost it when he tried to submit it. I really hope he will come back but don't know.


There could have been more but every other post is a female derailing the thread.

[CynicalQuixotic]

Anyway, what are MRAs?

https://lmgtfy.com/?q=Men%27s+Rights+Activism

I will again pose the question I have posed many times: why do we need to separate things into "men's" and "women's" point of view? Why can't people just respond in terms of being human beings with opinions on whatever is being said instead of making a Boys Only Treehouse because the man-hating harpies won't let the dudes of the forum state their opinions unchallenged? I, for one, call out anyone, regardless of gender, if I think they're wrong, and this is exactly what's happening here.

For example, Hollandia, I think this thread is doing more harm than good. Just like anybody else, if a guy wants to post here because he wants to be part of our community, he can. If people agree with him, they'll say so, and if not, they'll say so, again, just like any other member of the forum. I also really hate the way you use the word "female". It's degrading. We're women, here, and we can disagree with a man because he is wrong, not because he's *gasp* a man invading our womanspace!!!

[Moon]

Let's not forget, there is actually a group for the guys, in the Groups section of LFAD. It's called something like LFAD Lads, or Lads of LFAD, if it's still there.

[Alle1770]

https://lmgtfy.com/?q=Men%27s+Rights+Activism

I will again pose the question I have posed many times: why do we need to separate things into "men's" and "women's" point of view? Why can't people just respond in terms of being human beings with opinions on whatever is being said instead of making a Boys Only Treehouse because the man-hating harpies won't let the dudes of the forum state their opinions unchallenged? I, for one, call out anyone, regardless of gender, if I think they're wrong, and this is exactly what's happening here.

For example, Hollandia, I think this thread is doing more harm than good. Just like anybody else, if a guy wants to post here because he wants to be part of our community, he can. If people agree with him, they'll say so, and if not, they'll say so, again, just like any other member of the forum. I also really hate the way you use the word "female". It's degrading. We're women, here, and we can disagree with a man because he is wrong, not because he's *gasp* a man invading our womanspace!!!

This is, without a doubt, the best thing I've read all day. I couldn't agree more

[Hollandia]

https://lmgtfy.com/?q=Men%27s+Rights+Activism

I will again pose the question I have posed many times: why do we need to separate things into "men's" and "women's" point of view? Why can't people just respond in terms of being human beings with opinions on whatever is being said instead of making a Boys Only Treehouse because the man-hating harpies won't let the dudes of the forum state their opinions unchallenged? I, for one, call out anyone, regardless of gender, if I think they're wrong, and this is exactly what's happening here.

For example, Hollandia, I think this thread is doing more harm than good. Just like anybody else, if a guy wants to post here because he wants to be part of our community, he can. If people agree with him, they'll say so, and if not, they'll say so, again, just like any other member of the forum. I also really hate the way you use the word "female". It's degrading. We're women, here, and we can disagree with a man because he is wrong, not because he's *gasp* a man invading our womanspace!!!

Why? Because we all do not think like you do, and that does not make either of us right or wrong. You think how you wish to think about the different sex and others think differently and have a right to have a thread it. I think you are wrong for thinking your outlook is the only one that matters.

The men don't think so, and the thread was made for their insight.

Any men have a problem with it? Any? All I hear are some women complaining about it.

We are females and they are males, I used both terms. It is not degrading, it's a fact. You are blowing stuff way out of proportion and yet again another non male bitching about the thread and derailing it. I am not closing it, I am still hopeful the males will continue to use it. I am also not sorry I am made the thread because the men are happy with it that posted here.

[Hollandia]

Let's not forget, there is actually a group for the guys, in the Groups section of LFAD. It's called something like LFAD Lads, or Lads of LFAD, if it's still there.

Good question, did they know it was still there? Is it? How would they know about it? I have never heard of it and would be happy to move the thread there.

[CynicalQuixotic]

The men don't think so, and the thread was made for their insight.

Any men have a problem with it? Any? All I hear are some women complaining about it.

We are females and they are males, I used both terms. It is not degrading, it's a fact. You are blowing stuff way out of proportion and yet again another non male bitching about the thread and derailing it. I am not closing it, I am still hopeful the males will continue to use it. I am also not sorry I am made the thread because the men are happy with it that posted here.

Well, as long as the men are happy.

[Hollandia]

Well, as long as the men are happy.

Your point is?

[Chillosaurus]

[...]Just like anybody else, if a guy wants to post here because he wants to be part of our community, he can. [...]

As you can see most of the guys here have stated that they do not consider the forum as very helpful for them. If we are wanted as part of the community, we are not very well adressed.
Accusing people of being the male form of a feminist is not really constructive and welcoming.

[CynicalQuixotic]

As you can see most of the guys here have stated that they do not consider the forum as very helpful for them. If we are wanted as part of the community, we are not very well adressed.
Accusing people of being the male form of a feminist is not really constructive and welcoming.

Look, it is true that for many reasons that we could discuss ad infinitum, this is a community overwhelmingly populated by women. If that alone detracts men from joining and participating, that is on them, not us. As I said above, I take issue with things I perceive as wrong, and I think that saying "men are like this" and "women are like that" is just not accurate, full stop. I have no problem with the concept of a Men of LFAD thread--if that's what you guys want, go to town. What I do have a problem with is Hollandia grandstanding by setting up a "male opinion good woman opinion BAAAAD" dichotomy and all dissent being shut down.

Basically, I think dividing things by gender in general is not the best idea. I believe that people are people and that they are different, and the less emphasis on gender lines, the better. Your mileage may vary, of course, but I will defend my opinion because I think it's right.

[Moon]

Good question, did they know it was still there? Is it? How would they know about it? I have never heard of it and would be happy to move the thread there.

Dunno, *I* know it's there That is really a more appropriate place for this, I think, but the Groups section tends to be very under-utilized, which is probably why you didn't know about it. Either way, if you search them alphabetically, it should be under "L". Also, I'm not bitching because of having a men's thread, but it starts to be a slippery slope when derogatory language is allowed, like "All women are xxx", or "All women act xxx", or "All women do xxx", that's when it becomes a problem. If that non-American thread, for example, were real, and there are enough people out there that hate the US, and it was full of US bashing and bias, that wouldn't be allowed, right? They can have it, but like the forum guidelines say, they have to be respectful. That was my complaint, and I stand by that. I'll always hit back when I see that kind of garbage posted anywhere, especially since anybody can create a thread like Germans Only, Black People Only, Muslims Only, it seems like a great idea at the time, but everyone has to be careful that it doesn't turn nasty.